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This thread was created on July 6, 2005
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Needs a title...
Topic ID: 3670
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Djinni
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 Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 3:22 pm Post subject: Needs a title... |
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If anyone can think of a title for this poem I'd be grateful.
I may not be the first person in your mind,
Nor the person closest to your heart,
But I am the person who will
Always be a friend
Until the end of time.
Let me know what you think, I'm not the greatest poet it the Galaxy. |
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Rei
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| Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Far too short. I can tell it's heart-felt and very real. But what it needs is for you to explore the realtionship a little more. Use images and metephore, give examples, so the reader can properly see and understand the feelings you are expressing. |
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Nicola
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| Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 5:01 pm Post subject: Good poem |
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| I thought your poem wasreally good it would have been better if it was a bit longer i suppose but it is diffently :thumb: up for me. |
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convintojm
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| Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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| i too think you need to expand upon it. you've got what you want to say outlined and that's good because soemtimes it can be difficult to know what you want to express but i think by adding to it and being descriptive and specfic you could turn it into something better. |
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Djinni
Writer
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 06 Jul 2005
Posts: 79
Reviews: 9
Country: In a bottle
300 Points
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| Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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I wanted to have something short as I hate writing long poetry because it gets a little boring.
Thanks for the comments anyway.  |
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| This thread was created on July 6, 2005 |
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