Topic ID: 3315
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Harley
awkward and innocent. Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 518 Reviews: 241 Country: scotland. 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 6:06 pm Post subject: rock n roll anxiety-prime example of a title that needs work |
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Just trying to think up a cool name for my band
I gotta resist letting people give me a hand
I wanna make it without any assistance
Tackle each obstacle with iron persistence
Deciding what instrument is right for me
Got tired of pressing down the same old keys
Hooked on the music; wired on the sound
The base beat's pumping; shaking the ground
When you're trying to make it
It's tempting to fake it
Chorus:
You gotta listen to the rocker deep inside your heart
He 's the one that got you in this mess at the start
You gotta grin and bear it, although it's hard
Ain't gonna buy me a star on the boulevard
Wanna be different but just fall into place
Can't go through life with a fake smile on my face
People telling me I should write happy songs
They don't realise I work on them all night long
It only takes so long before you're a cliche
Can't help caring what people think and say
Dump the insecurity; lose those inhibitions
Who cares about the parental permission?
When your conscience nags you
The guilt creeps up and snags you
You gotta listen to the rocker deep inside your heart
He 's the one that got you in this mess at the start
You gotta grin and bear it, although it's hard
Ain't gonna buy me a star on the boulevard
You gotta listen to the rocker deep inside your heart
He 's the one that got you in this mess at the start
You gotta grin and bear it, although it's hard
Ain't gonna buy me a star on the boulevard
Rock is my life
Music is my reason
It gets me through the strife
Of being me
Wishing I could change
Trying harder than you could know
Life's just a game
That I'm losing
You gotta listen to the rocker deep inside your heart
He 's the one that got you in this mess at the start
You gotta grin and bear it, although it's hard
Ain't gonna buy me a star on the boulevard
You gotta listen to the rocker though his voice is faint
He 's the one who'll get you on your feet again
You gotta do it for yourself, although it's hard
Don't let 'em buy you a star on the boulevard |
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Rei
E.A. Extraordinaire Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 23 Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 3140 Reviews: 685 Country: Canada 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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Nice. It's got simple, conversational language, which is exactly what this type of song should have, but it still expresses all the feelings in it with as much power as one with a lot of fancy words and metephores. Not all the rhymes sound too fabulous when I just read it as is, but I'm sure it will go great to music.
Good work. ;) |
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Liz
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 493 Reviews: 321 Country: The land down under 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:25 am Post subject: |
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Great. The chorus was especially good. Only part I didn't like was:
"Rock is my life
Music is my reason
It gets me through the strife
Of being me"
It seemed a little TOO cliche, especially the "life" and "strife" rhyme. Overall though, really good job. |
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Zion
Made of Awesome Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 22 Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 1890 Reviews: 94 Country: Republic of Macedonia 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:36 am Post subject: |
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| I loved it. Hahah I swae i heard music inside my head as I was reading it. the music sounded great as well. Very original im sick of all the love lyrics in todays songs anyway. |
_________________ Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind.
Immanuel Kant
"Critique of Pure Reason" |
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Harley
awkward and innocent. Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 518 Reviews: 241 Country: scotland. 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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totally. almost every song on the radio is about love; it gets annoying!
rhymes are hard lol i'll work on it. thanks for sommenting, folks  |
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