| Young Writers Society - Community Forums For Young Writers |
|
This thread was created on June 5, 2005
 |
|
baguette
Topic ID: 3178
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Liz
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 493 Reviews: 321 Country: The land down under 300 Points
|
Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:03 am Post subject: baguette |
|
|
it bleeds dry sepia blood like cheap postcards
which we devour like burning chocolat chaud à l'école.
two chalk-white panadols are remaining in
the cutting, green-splashed foil with round, plastic indents.
i psychologically need more; my plait falls out.
plain, fluffy baguette and a green apple settle on my lips,
i can't follow any purple brick roads because they look too beautiful.
reading puberty blues in a park amidst drug dealers and police
sparks a thrill in me, yet a navy dull one.
waffles, rum and raisin icecream and nutella
leaves a bubbly trail of oil in my stomach,
i can feel it simmering in all its yellow fat.
fromage slices of la lune are faux in our lights,
a musical house burns down in an orangina rage.
there is a week on the calender and tears slither in my chest.
written: Wednesday 29th September 2004, 10:30pm. |
_________________ purple sneakers |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
ohhewwo
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 366 Reviews: 148 Country: ...Right behind you!!! 300 Points
|
Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I really like the style you used for this. Very "talky," but not vernacular, you know.
The first line got me on this one. It was really interesting.
This was well written and thought-provoking. Nice work. |
_________________ "The only difference between me and a mad man is that I am not mad."
-Salvador Dali, surrealist |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You can attach files in this forum You can download files in this forum
|
|
| This thread was created on June 5, 2005 |
Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson
|