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This thread was created on June 3, 2005
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Topic ID: 3146
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Harley
awkward and innocent.
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Gender: 
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Joined: 27 Jan 2005
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Country: scotland.
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 Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:02 pm Post subject: with me |
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[i wrote this for my friend to sing]
She walked away
Out of my house
Out of my mind
Out of my heart
She is running from me
From the pain
From the conflict
From the love
She was my everything
My passion
My soul
My friend
She is the one who puts me through this torture
Torture which will never end
And she’s gone
She’s moved on
Beyond the clouds
Past the stars
She has left
But I won’t forget
The imprint she left in my heart
She lives on in me
People say I’m sad
Say I’m messed up
Say I’m crazy
Say I’m down
I am worse
I am lost
I am sick
I am alone
I loved everything about her
Loved her hair
Loved her heart
Loved her eyes
She didn’t make it, but I will keep her alive
She is the part of me which will never die
And she’s gone
She’s moved on
Beyond the clouds
Past the stars
She has left
But I won’t forget
The imprint she left in my heart
She lives on in me
She
She was the one who looked out for me
She was the one who let me grow
She was there for me
And I loved her
More than she will ever know
And she’s gone
She’s moved on
Beyond the clouds
Past the stars
She has left
But I won’t forget
The imprint she left in my heart
She lives on in me
She is alive in my heart
She is living on in my spirit
She is and always will be
With me |
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inspiration. imagination. creativity.
Last edited by Harley on Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:21 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Firestarter
rear-admiral of the RED
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Posts: 6281
Reviews: 986
Country: Albion
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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Liked this. The use of repetition constantly in three lines kept a good structure to the whole piece.
The verse that starts "She" reminds me of the song of the same name by Green Day. Just a comment.
Overall though, great. I wanna hear you friend sing it now... |
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and if you promise to stay conscious
i will try and do the same
yeah, we might die from medication
but we sure killed all the pain |
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Harley
awkward and innocent.
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 518
Reviews: 241
Country: scotland.
300 Points
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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lol we're working on it- he likes it htough, so we're halfway there. by any chance is the greenday song a cover? 'cuz there's a song called "She" by elvis costello. just wondering. thanks a lot- i'm honoured  cool avatar, by the way. |
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inspiration. imagination. creativity. |
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Ceylon
Senior Writer
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Joined: 22 May 2005
Posts: 157
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Country: away
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| Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:54 am Post subject: |
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Ooooh~ I would like to hear this one day. Sounds cool  |
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La fin d'ordinaire, et vous ne verriez pas ce que vient.
Comment bon il s'avérera être.. |
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| This thread was created on June 3, 2005 |
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