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This thread was created on April 17, 2005
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Topic ID: 2421
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jossymaiye
Junior Writer
 Gender:  Age: 19 Joined: 14 Feb 2005 Posts: 21 Reviews: 11 Country: nigeria 300 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 5:28 pm Post subject: love.the lover and the beloved |
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He is as the cluster of camphire,
as the rows of jewels,
as a chain of gold,
He is her beloved.
She is as the fountain of gardens,
as a well of living water,
as an orchard of pomegranates,
She is his love.
He is as fine as gold,
as sweet as flowers,
as excellent as cedars,
He is her beloved.
She is as a flourished vine,
as fair as the moon,
as clear as the sun,
She is his love.
It is as strong as death,
as perfect as itself,
as a seal to their hearts,
It istheir love. |
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hekategirl
An Angel with an Edge Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 03 Feb 2005 Posts: 1453 Reviews: 323 Country: An Alleyway North of Sanity 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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| This seems more of a poem not a song. For one this you don't have a chorus. And the verses don't really flow like a song. I like it as a poem though. |
_________________ ***Honorary 11-Year-Old***
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Harley
awkward and innocent. Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 518 Reviews: 241 Country: scotland. 300 Points
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree, it's a good poem, but it isn't as good as a song. |
_________________ inspiration. imagination. creativity. |
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Areida
Not-So-Official But Totally Essential Princess Ari Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 14 Feb 2005 Posts: 4799 Reviews: 697 Country: no, not really. I don't have a hick accent or anything. 300 Points
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| It's pretty good...the title immediately makes me think of Song of Solomon. Not sure if that's what you were going for, but it's good. |
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| This thread was created on April 17, 2005 |
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