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Sergio's Promise short story
Sergio's Promise   short story

by Aurora in Romantic Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyrics

This thread was created on April 17, 2005
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love.the lover and the beloved
Topic ID: 2421
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jossymaiye   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 5:28 pm    Post subject: love.the lover and the beloved Reply with quote

He is as the cluster of camphire,
as the rows of jewels,
as a chain of gold,
He is her beloved.



She is as the fountain of gardens,
as a well of living water,
as an orchard of pomegranates,
She is his love.


He is as fine as gold,
as sweet as flowers,
as excellent as cedars,
He is her beloved.


She is as a flourished vine,
as fair as the moon,
as clear as the sun,
She is his love.


It is as strong as death,
as perfect as itself,
as a seal to their hearts,
It istheir love.
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hekategirl   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This seems more of a poem not a song. For one this you don't have a chorus. And the verses don't really flow like a song. I like it as a poem though.

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Harley   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2005 2:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree, it's a good poem, but it isn't as good as a song.

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Areida   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2005 11:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's pretty good...the title immediately makes me think of Song of Solomon. Not sure if that's what you were going for, but it's good.

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This thread was created on April 17, 2005

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