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by Reason Invalid in Other Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyric Poetry

This thread was created on April 19, 2008
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Three steps ahead

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Writing for love is a pas   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:05 am    Post subject: Three steps ahead Reply with quote

See it from my point of view…

Every time I get a step closer to you,

You get ahead three steps ahead of me.

Whatever you choose, I will choose,

But then, you change it at the last second,

Because you are three steps ahead.



You say you will always say yes, so I believed it.

But then you change your answer to no,

Because you are three steps ahead.

You say that even though you are going out with her, you still love me.

But every time you break up, you won’t ask me out,

Because you are three steps ahead.



When we finally go out, I get cocky and mad, 

then I break up with you,

 but you bounce right up and ask her out again.

Because you are three steps ahead.

I lie to you to pretend to be cool,

But you don’t believe me, 

Because you are three steps ahead.



I watch your every move, but you don’t mess up.

Sometimes I think you know I’m watching,

Because you are three steps ahead.

You always bring your game,

So for one minute, I look up to you,

But then you call me mean names,

Because you are three steps ahead.



I call you mean names back,

But it breaks my heart and you know it,

Because you are three steps ahead.

She cheats on you and you still love her,

If I did that, you would hate me forever.

But you know that I’m the sick puppy who will always love you,

Because you are three steps ahead.



 We invent a game together, but that doesn’t matter anymore,

You forgot the rules,

you loved it at the time, remember?

but it doesn't make sense anymore,

Because you are three steps ahead.



You used to pull out your hair and bang your head against the wall,

You used to say that you would rather die than go on without me,

And I would always give in,

But the tables have turned,

Because you are three steps ahead.



There has been so much on my shoulders ever since I met you,

You have no idea what I’m going through,

You are so caught up in her that you won’t  pay attention to me,

Even when I wear my hair the way you like it,

But you don’t notice,

Because you are three steps ahead.



I can go on and on about how you have changed my life in the past,

Though right now, I want to talk about the future,

Our future,

But you won’t listen,

Because you are three steps ahead.



You gave me your heart, but then you snatched it back,

I don’t think its fair that you still have mine.

You will have it forever and ever baby,

But you don’t know it yet,

Because you are three steps ahead.



If I could tell you just one thing it would be that I love the sound of your voice,

And your smile always brightens my cloudiest day,

And if I did one thing right in my life so far, it was when I gave you my heart,

So read it and weep,

Because you are three steps ahead



No lies, just love,

You taught me how to love, but you didn’t teach me how to stop.

Truth? You want to know the raw truth? I love you,

My prince in shining armor is you in tin foil.

So now you know,

Because you are three steps ahead.



You hate me. She hates me. They hate me. Why? 

Cause I’ve probably been the selfish me.

I was tired of being the helpless little girl,

And sick of getting my heart broken… It’s time to do something,

Maybe I should play your game, 

Lead them on then ditch them,

Then who’s phone will never stop ringing?

MINE. WHY?

Because I learned how to play the fucking game,

Because you are three steps ahead.



My love will never fade, unless you make it fade.

Take love, multiply it by infinity,

Take it to the depths of forever,

Then you still only have a glimpse of how much I love you.

But the only reason people hold onto memories is because memories never change when everything else does.

Because you are three steps ahead.



I want you to notice when I’m not around.

I was made for you.

Only you.

But you are still with her,

Because you are three steps ahead.



My heart is the only one that beats for you and only you,

Because you make me shake when I’m around you.

and I think that’s a good thing.

I drive myself crazy thinking about how much I love you,

But I’m wasting my tears,

Because you are three steps ahead.



I’m just another silly girl who fell for one stupid boy,

But there’s something about you that won’t stay out of my head.I won't get over you,

Never.

Because your three steps ahead.



And you give me the butterflies

Every time you look my way,

But at least if you catch me staring, I’ll know that you are looking back.

And a boy like YOU, needs a CRAZY girl like ME.

And I get lost in your eyes,

But every time I see you, you walk away,

Because you are three steps ahead.



There is a million stars for every thing I love about you,

So never give up hope.

Our hope.

But I’m almost out of our hope,

Because you are three steps ahead.



When I fell for you,

I fell hard,

But you caught me,

You left me breathless,

Remember this?

An accident brought us together,

And I know we will never part,

Please say you will love me forever,

You totally stolen my heart.

Now it’s an accident brought us together,

But we actually had to part,

Even though you said forever,

When you went with her, you took my heart,

But I DON’T want it back,

Because you are three steps ahead.



I’ll wait for you.

And I'll love you more a fat kid loves cake.

Take my hand and we will make it, I swear.

But no one loves you like I do.

Because you are three steps ahead.



And I like walking in the rain when I see you with her, 

So that no one knows I’m crying.

And as soon is forever is through, I’ll be over you.

They say that time heals all wounds,

But it’s only given me more time to think about how much I miss you,

Because you are three steps ahead.



You are the reason why I draw those stupid hearts all over my notebooks,

When I met you, I told my heart to prepare to shatter,

But that doesn’t matter, I never told you,

Because you are three steps ahead.



Soon you will be more steps than I can count ahead of me,

 And you will lose me forever.

Think about that the next time when 

YOU.

ARE.

ALWAYS.

THREE.

STEPS.

AHEAD.

always.

Why can’t we give love one more chance?

Ps. I'll never give in, so just give up.

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Last edited by Writing for love is a pas on Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:28 pm; edited 2 times in total
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W1ldF1r3   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow that must've taken you ages to write. Good work. Personally I dont like you saying "three steps ahead" over and over again but thats just me, alot of people will like it.

I actually can't really remember which bits i liked because it was so long lol. I've read it twice and its a good poem. Maybe add stanzas, like after every "three steps ahead" make that end of the stanza.

Nice work overall and congratz on making something so big.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know. When I repeat three steps ahead over and over again, it got on my nerves, but then I took them all out, and it didn't make any sense. Oh, and the poem took me 2 hours. *hahahahhahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really like this, and I can see how taking out the 'three steps ahead' would mean it doesn't make sense.

It is rather long, do you have an abridged version?

At first this didn't make much sense, and it seemed like just another poetic rant, but as I kept reading it kind of grew on me - and that's a good thing.

You've written this with a lot of originality and emotion, you've also thrown rhymes where they fit, have irregular stanzas, and you'll pulled it all off brilliantly.

My only suggestion would be that for a poem this long, you need a powerful opening verse as a hook, otherwise people would be put off reading it.

Overall, nice work Smile keep it up.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey thanks. I really know what you mean, I'll try to fix that.

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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2008 2:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

QUOTE:
You get ahead three steps ahead of me.
END QUOTE

Take out the extra ahead. So instead of "You get ahead three steps ahaed of me" it should be "You get three steps ahead of me"

Sounds better. I liked it though. *Frowns because she could never write a poem that good."

Yeah

and all the "Three steps ahead of me" doesn't really sound so good.

Try using something else and mix and match, but keep the main focus "Three steps ahead of me."

You catch my drift??

-Ailam

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Writing for love is a pas   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*exasperated sigh*
I've told people already, that when I take the three steps ahead out, it doesn't work!

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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello I might be new but I can give some kind of a review. I really like how you did it through their point of view. I like them kind of poems. I am a sad kind of writer. Well there was nothing I have seen in error.

Good luck with your writing!!!

GordonRamsayLuver Smile

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks!

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:02 am    Post subject: ... Reply with quote

i find no flaws
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, a really long poem..................
thoughts were gloomy, never ending, sending the reader into deep agony, but still a brave attempt.
reading such a long poetry needs patience in the first sense but keep reeding it sends the readers into insight of author.
ending each stanza by the line "three steps ahead of me" brought in a sense of ocean waves but still i
liked the essense of the poetry.
keep writingsuch type of pieces but be sure to make it a bit shorter


good luck

abhi
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This thread was created on April 19, 2008

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