Topic ID: 31897
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| On a scale of 1 to 5, how much did you like it? |
| 1 |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 2 |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 3 |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 4 |
|
50% |
[ 2 ] |
| 5 |
|
50% |
[ 2 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 4 |
|
| Author |
Message |
Poppy Mare
New Member
Gender: 
Age: 17
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
Reviews: 0
300 Points
|
 Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:25 pm Post subject: I Can |
 |
|
I can’t sing, or draw or write very well. All I know is that I have another ability that most people just ignore. The power to imagine and create my own life threatening problems.
I can make a tear roll down my cheek when I see a friend die. I can feel the adrenaline rush through my veins as I fly over the dessert with no one to save me. I can feel pleasure, kissing the prettiest boy in the whole wide world.
Okay, so I can’t really do all that. But I can. I just can in my head. During school time I would sit out in the sun and make the whole world dark. I would meet my true friends and enemies and I would know how to fight. I would have wings and fly out of the school, city, my own body, and still be here.
I can make myself the hero, saving my man from the ultimate form of evil. Or I can be the villain, torturing those who oppose my thoughts and ideas. I can make myself look pretty and have all the guys chase after me. I can make the best Whopper you’ve ever tasted.
I can do a lot of things and sometimes I feel awful about it. When I make one of my friends die I do tend to cry, but for some reason there is some for of pleasure from it. When I see them go down and not move anymore, I feel powerful. No, I don’t really kill my friends, just the ones in my head. And I remember how they die and rewind it in my head.
In my mind, it’s like I am the Goddess of my own world. The mental one anyways. Where I can sing, draw, and write.
-Poppy Mare |
_________________
I want to do many, many things with my life, but I'm way too scared to really say. Writing, I guess is a way of being able to so all the things I want and not worry about being hurt. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
EbonyAutumn
Novice
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 29 Jun 2008
Posts: 12
Reviews: 2
Country: U.S.
300 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 4:30 am Post subject: |
|
|
I <3 it.
I feel the same way. It also goes along with reading-shutting everything out and being absorbed by the words.
Very good descriptions! |
_________________
Your bitterness shines through your attempt at wit. Go ahead and say something else profound. |
|
| Back to top |
|
xXParamoreXx
has had anough with life already
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 953
Reviews: 27
Country: 30 seconds away from mars :P UK
406 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 3:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| It was so brilliant I just dont what to say. :'D |
_________________
When you can live forever,
What do you live for?
*Twilight* |
|
| Back to top |
|
chocoholic
Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 1615
Reviews: 516
Country: Raxacoricofallapatorius
318 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
Interesting. I've never seen anything like this before. I can't say I understood it fully, but I liked it all the same. I found one mistake:
Should be desert, unless you're planning on flying over ice-cream, pudding, cake, jelly, etc.
| Quote: |
| I can make myself the hero, saving my man from the ultimate form of evil. Or I can be the villain, torturing those who oppose my thoughts and ideas. |
This bit was really good. Very strong and very true.
There's not much else I can say apart from I liked this and I think you did a really good job. |
_________________
*Don't expect to see me around much in the next couple of weeks. School has started again, and it'll be a couple of weeks before I've settled in. If you've asked me for a critique, you will get it, but not for a little while. Sorry* |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
