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Lyrria; The Beginning- The Dream
Lyrria; The Beginning- The Dream

by Cat_910 in Fantasy Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on June 21, 2008
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The tears of the dead: Prolouge
Tears of the dead: Chapter 1 & 2

Tears of the Dead: Chapter3!

Topic ID: 31945
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happybear   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:35 pm    Post subject: Tears of the Dead: Chapter3! Reply with quote

Chapter 3

A beautiful sound filled the darkness. A melodious tune unlike any Ivy had ever heard. But it didn’t fit. She had swooned only a few hours ago and she had woken here; in a large comfortable bed in a dark, dark room. The only sound was the eerie dirge coming from somewhere amid the darkness. The music stopped

“Are you not awake yet?” A voice rang through the silence bringing sheer terror to Ivy… She had heard the voice before. Behind her she heard a chair scoot and light footsteps walked toward her bed. Her heart pounded. She could jump… but she new there was no where to run.

Suddenly the man’s face came into view. Her heart skipped. It was him!

“Shh! Shh! Shh! You are safe here.” She could hear her heart pound in her ears. It was him, from her nightmares. His thick German accent was the last thing she had heard before she had collapsed of fear. “My child, why are you so afraid”

“Who… Who are you?” She managed to whisper.

“You died when you were only four. I saved you, but I could not raise you as my own until you were older and the last of your living tissue died away. I must finish what I started and you will no longer be held between the world of the living, the dead, and the undead.”

“What?”

“Your flesh nearly died that night. I gave you part of the life I could offer to keep you alive. And so for eleven years you’ve hung between human and vampire, to keep you from falling into death. Now your living tissue is dying, rapidly. I must kill it before it takes the rest of you down with it! And I will replace it and you will be just like me, my daughter.”

“Vam…vampire?”

“Don’t believe me? I can prove it.” He smiled revealing two gleaming white teeth that were pointed viciously. He dove toward her neck and before she even had time to think, he dove into her skin.

She cried in agony as her warm blood trickled down her neck. Tears sprang to her eyes; she could feel his teeth beneath her skin. Finally he stood up, his mouth dripping with her fresh, warm blood. She moaned her neck hurt with a terrible fire. She barely saw as the man delves into his own arm.

“Drink, quickly.” He held it to her lips. She flinched as warm drops fell around and in her mouth.

Suddenly her skin burned like acid, her heart beats were measured and her breathing came in struggled gulps. Her muscles twitched. One thought whirled through her mucky brain: She was dying…painfully. Then her lungs stopped, her heart slowed drastically … Her head pounded it couldn’t take the loss of oxygen and blood. Her entire body felt like it was about to erupt in flames. Her mouth gaped in a silent scream as she shuddered painfully on the bed. Suddenly her world went black. The pain stopped. She felt detached from her body: she felt nothing. Then slowly she slid back into her shell. It didn’t feel like hers… it felt cold… but sleeker somehow… more powerful.



Last edited by happybear on Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Pawprint   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was extrememly good. I was hooked onto it for the whole way!

Quote:
She felt detached from her body: she felt nothing. Then slowly she slid back into her shell. It didn’t feel like hers… it felt cold… but sleeker somehow… more powerful.


I loved this part for some reason. It just sounded really good!
I loved your descriptions!
I loved THIS!

Keep it up!

Paw

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happybear   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you so much pawprint! That comment really brightened my day!
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endless_secrets   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This was very intriguing and made me want to keep reading, very few easily corrected spelling errors, overall a job well done. I really like how you descibed the change, well how the nightmare guy described it and how it felt to her, very origional. I loved this and I hope you keeo going with it, PM me when the next chapter comes out!

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This thread was created on June 21, 2008

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