Topic ID: 31651
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Nolan
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 Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:23 pm Post subject: Immortality, Wealth, Sex, and Power. |
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I have come to realize that, in this day and age, almost every person you
meet wants some of the same things, and makes aforementioned "things" the
sole object of their life: immortality, financial riches, a lot of sex, and
power.
But, what is immortality, exactly? The ability for your physical body to
last forever? Does it include emotions and humanity, or does it just turn
you into an inhumane husk of a person who's been alive too long and seen
too many things? How many friends would you see dead, how many loved ones
would you see suffer and die while you just keep on living? Would you be
able to live happily, or be overburdened with grief? Would you really want
to live until the end of time?
And, no matter who the person is, we all want to be hugely financially
wealthy, don't we? We are trained and conditioned to believe that more
money is the key to more happiness and a better life, but is it? In our
quest to gain aforementioned wealth, how many lives will we ruin, how many
families will be broken, how many people will die, simply because we want
more money? Is financial wealth really worth killing people, not only
physically, but emotinoally, mentally, and spiritually as well? Does it
really complete you, or just waste you further away?
Sex, sex, sex. We all want it. We all like it. But, who can blame us? It's
free, it feels good, and it's fun. And, if you're a normal person, you
aren't content with just one sexual partner, you have to have more. More
partners, more sex, and, most importantly, more orgasms. But after all the
sex in the world, are you really pleased? Sure, for a while, it feels
great: new partners, new positions, new highs; but afterwards what do you
feel? Love? Passion? Regret? Remorse? Alone? Together? Hollow? Do you
really feel like having a new sexual partner every night/week/month is
worth all of the emotional stress and loneliness it causes?
Finally, we come to power. The most sought-after possession in the world,
yet it's not even tangible. We all want power, myself included. The power
to kill, the power to control others, the power to lead an army, the power
to have millions do your bidding. Yet, none of us realize the big things
we're missing: the power to love, the power to give, the power to receive,
the power to be compassionate, the power to be admired for who we are, not
what we've done. We all want to be in charge, have power over others, but,
first, we must have power over ourselves.
All in all, I find this whole world vexing. A whole lot of madmen and
madwomen seeking things that few of them rightly deserve. Instead of
killing each other for personal gain, why not help each other, creating gains for everyone in the process. |
Last edited by Nolan on Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:11 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Samsal
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334 Points
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| Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:07 am Post subject: |
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| so true. you spoke about a very heartfelt topic. i concur... i like this its very interesting. not much people write like you do keep it up. |
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Samsal
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334 Points
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| Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:11 am Post subject: |
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| another thing... sex is never free, none of those things are. everything comes with a price, well most things do. just look at the tv once in a while or just look around. this is still pretty good though. |
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Sportgurl46
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1053 Points
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:05 am Post subject: |
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| Do you realize what you have just done for every person that reads this post? You have just opened that persons eyes to what is really important in life. You have just made the world that much better. Any writer that can do that is one of the most amazing writers that I have ever known. A person who writes like that has my respect and loyalty. |
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chocoholic
Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:25 am Post subject: |
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Interesting. Here are my comments/nitpicks:
I would remove the some. It detracts from the strength of the piece.
Your bit on immorality is very powerful, especially for me as I'm writing a novel about humanity's will to survive no matter what.
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| Would you really want to live until the end of time? |
This bit just isn't as strong. It's very weak, and makes me think 'Why did I like this piece so much?' I'd re-word it.
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| And, no matter who the person is, we all want to be hugely financially wealthy, don't we? |
This isn't true. I know it sounds good in the piece, but there are people who are happy with the little they have.
emotionally
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| or just waste you further away? |
This sentence confused me. It needs to be worded a different way.
I don't agree with your sex bit. Sex is not always free, not everybody always wants it, and it's a big statement to say that you're only normal if you want more than one sexual partner. I would re-write it so it's less in-your-face. The second part of it, however, is very good.
Overall this was very good. Although I don't agree with all the things you said, you have a point and you got it across.
Good job! |
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zoeybird13024
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:56 am Post subject: |
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Wonderfully written! I praise you as the rest have--it's a wonderful thing to preach (if such a word can be used--what about 'poetically approached instead?) about these things and admit that yes, everyone does it, everyone wants it, and while it is normal and even the person explaining why such things are wrong has felt it, it's more of a truth. Why, I see no reason to believe anyone who acts as though they themselves have never felt such a thing. It makes you feel small. But a reader can relate with you, and this not only opens their eyes but--hopefully--even changes the way they think. This is close to poetry in my book. Well done!
-x-Zoey |
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Icaruss
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:56 am Post subject: |
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You have a really cynical view of the world, but you have no reason to feel that way. I'll give you the more formal critique of the piece in a bit, but let me tell you something about human beings: we're not all that bad. Sure, we can be selfish and mean and evil but, most of the time, we're pretty alright. It's nice of you to dissect the things everyone wants and tell us why they're bad-- But, hey, if they're bad, how come everybody wants them? And yeah, OK, popular things aren't always good, but how come they got to be so... famous?
Immorality, Wealth, Sex and Power. I mean, those things... I mean, that's what Lex Luthor wants, right? And I'm pretty sure everybody has thought about them every once in a while. I'm sure I did and, well, they didn't seem so bad. Does that make me shallow? I don't know.
Random Thought #243: I meant besides killing Superman.
I've never wanted immortality. Before alcohol and parties and cigarettes, me and my friends used to spend the night talking about movies we'd seen, trips we'd do and the great dilemmas of life: would you like to live forever? The usual answer is that no, I wouldn't, unless I got to bring my friends along for the ride. Besides, what's the point of living forever when there's Heaven waiting for you after you're dead, right? But... Now I'm older. And I'm not so sure there's something after this. So, do I want to live forever? And what is immortality anyways?
I mean, thousands of people have come and gone and are now forever, but there are some who stick around long after they're gone. Hell, there's a reason there are still Elvis sightings. I mean, it's not just that there's stupid people in the world. And Shakespeare and Dickens and Picasso and freaking Alan Smith, all of them are immortal for their work and what they did. So... what is immortality anyways?
And what is it with people and them thinking that every rich bastard is... well, a bastard? Yeah, sure, many times people forget about their ethics to get rich, but there are a lot of people with money who got there honestly. Who says we have to trample over other people to be financially wealthy? I can study... interior design, and be a successful interior... designist, and have money I earned. And having money is always nice. I mean, it's not like you always have to kill families to earn a promotion.
And Sex? Come on. Sex is good. I love sex. Sure, it makes me angsty and nervous, but I like it anyways. It doesn't have to bring all the regret and remorse you think it brings, man. And people forget that people who have a different partner every week do it because they want to. When they settle down, they settle down. Meanwhile, sex is fun. Unless they've been... abused back when they were kids, like. But you can spot those right away. They cry after sexing. Or... Maybe that's just me.
Random Thought #434: Sex doesn't always bring emptyness and loneliness. Some times it brings unwanted pregnancies. Those suck.
And power. Yeah. Everybody wants that. You want people's respect, you want to be able to do things no-one can do. But getting that power, does it really mean you lose other, precious things? Not necessarily. In fact, power often means having less responsability. You have people to do things for you. You have everything right there for the taking. So... You spend more time with your family. You kick it at the Caribbean.
You go golfing.
Yeah. I can see why people like power.
Your thing is nicely written and you do make some good reflexions. There's some typos, but nothing that hasn't been already pointed out. It seems a bit directionless, though. Like you just want to point what's wrong with everything humanity's been aiming for the last couple of thousand years, but don't really tell us... what we should do about it. I can point things out that are screwed up too, but you should always try to tell us why they are screwed up, and what we should do to make them better. Or at least, make it more personal. More interesting. This seems a bit distant and a bit too naïve. And I know that naïve is the complete opposite of what you're aiming for, but you seem to have a far too cynical point of view. So cynical that it verges on self-parody. So cynical that it seems like you want us to know that you are cynical. So cynical that it doesn't seem genuine. So... Yeah.
But it was well-written over all, and it definately makes people think about things. So. Keep writing! |
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