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Melosica: Chapter 3 part two.
Melosica: Chapter 3 part two.

by Reuben A in Fantasy Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction

This thread was created on April 7, 2006
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Destiny -- A Harry Potter short story Goto page Previous  1, 2
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CainWalker   View This User's Portfolio
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Age: 16
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello

This was fairly-well written and I would be interested in seeing what would happen afterwards. The style was fairly appropriate but strangely passive in my opinion for Hermione. I thought her the type to research everything before finally accepting anything, but that it just my opinion.

Thank you for the read,
CainWalker
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Quill9119   View This User's Portfolio
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Age: 17
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300 Points

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow this is really good. I think its wierd that you put Hermionie in the place of Genny for Harry's love. You also took Harry's life unlike his survival in the book. I think it was a very good twist on the novels that made Harry Potter so great.

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Chirantha   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 10:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Are there any other words that can be equelled to the word WOW?

If there are all thoes should go to your book.

But there is some er...... thing that needs to be fixed.

Quote:
Hermione Granger had easily blended into the crowd of mourners with her outfit of all black.

It stops the flow of the sentence.Put it like "Hermione Granger easily blended within the crowd as she was wearing a black outfit".If you want that is.

Having Hermione as Harry's girlfriend is a little odd,but I'd say that it makes a nice change.

And your idea of Harry dieing is also good.

So I can say this is one of the best fanfics I had read. Very Happy

Good luck. Wink
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FreakyDoo12   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't believe it!!
It was well done!!
That could totally be made into a book. Hey could you write more? i'VE BEEN TRYING TO LOOK FOR HARRY POTTER FAN FIC FOR THE LAST 10 MINUTES AND SPOTTING THIS ONE WAS GREAT!!

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AllyyyAlwayyys   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow
this was amazing
the way you wrote it,
everything
was just amazing
though it was a bit differant from the books
such as the fact that Hermione was Harry's love interest
but it was brilliant
XD

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This thread was created on April 7, 2006

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