All right...I need harsh critiques now because this is my first love scene (kind of) in my story, so I need peoples' honest opinions!
Hope you enjoy it!
**Edited as of Sept. 21**
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CHAPTER SEVEN
In the café, he opens the door for me, letting me pass first. Immediately upon entrance into the tiny restaurant I get a scent of all the things inside—hamburgers on the grill, humans coated with sweat and grime, puffs of perfume. I shake my head as Isaac enters behind me. “You okay?” I feel the tip of his fingers tentatively touch my shoulder in concern. I nod, smiling brightly at him. He grins back, leading me to any empty booth.
As I sit, I see the error in my ways as the waitress comes over to take our order. She is a petite blonde chewing bubble-gum and wearing a tight shirt showing a fair amount of cleavage. She smiles at Isaac and pulls out her notepad. I concentrate on what I must do. What was I thinking? Now I will have to order food that I can’t eat! Sighing, realizing how stupid I have been. I should have just let him take me home.
“What can I get for you, darling?” the waitress asks me, popping a bubble in her mouth. I glance up, seeing that Isaac has already ordered.
“What did you get?” I ask, having not a clue what to order.
“Burger and fries,” Isaac answers, handing the menu to the lady.
“I’ll have the same,” I tell her, and she smiles, writing it down.
After she glides away, I glance outside as a boom of thunder makes the lights flicker. “Looks like it is going to storm,” Isaac comments, following my gaze.
“Yeah,” I mumble, watching as the clouds swirl above us.
“So what was the deal with Carmen?” he asks me, staring me in the eye.
“Umm, he just didn’t want to pick me up.” I shrug.
Isaac frowns. “Why not?”
“Didn’t feel like it, I guess.”
“Wow…and you call him your friend?” Isaac is puzzled.
“It’s a weird relationship we have,” I hurry to explain.
“Oh, so you guys have known each other long?”
“Many, many years.” A flash of lightening illuminates Isaac’s face, his eyes appearing even brighter, if that were possible. “We’ve been friends since we were young…” I trail off, caught up in the memories of long ago.
I had met Carmen a few days after I had made the transformation. He was young, nearing his seventieth year as a vampire. Philip was introducing me to the Coven when we made eye contact. Carmen had flashed me that dazzling smile of his and waltzed over. We started talking and that’s all it took.
“Doesn’t seem like the nicest guy…” Isaac interrupts the wave of memories. I look up and see his pinched expression; he seems angry at this statement.
“Yeah, he can be a jerk. But then again, he can be a sweetheart too,” I tell him.
“I guess everyone can be like that.”
“I suppose.” I shrug, picking absently at the table. An awkward silence settles around us and I can feel Isaac’s eyes on me, watching my every move.
“Are you okay?” he suddenly asks, breaking the silence. When I nod, he frowns. “Are you sure, because if this is like…awkward for you and you would rather me take you home, that’s fine.” He trips over his words, slurring them together in a rush to get them out. I smile softly at his sensitivity towards my feelings.
“No, it’s cool,” I assure him, and he smiles back, his eyes lighting up again.
“So…” he trails off, struggling to find a topic to talk about. I observe him from under my lashes. “How was your winter break?”
“It was fine, I guess. Boring, basically,” I intone, sighing deeply.
“Oh,” he mumbles.
“How was yours?”
His lips part in an excited grin. “Great, actually. I went to Mexico with my friend Cody’s family.”
“So that’s why you’re so tan,” I note.
He nods happily. “I wish I was still there,” he sighs when his eyes suddenly widen as he spots something over my shoulder.
“What?” I wonder, quickly turning around.
I soon see what caught his eye.
Three girls enter the café, all seemingly slender and attractive. I recognize the blonde in front as the girl who had exchanged saliva with Isaac that day in lunch. “You know them?” I cock an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah,” he murmurs.
“Will she be mad that you're here with me?” I incline my head towards the blonde who is scanning the tables for an empty booth.
“I don’t know…” Isaac trails off when she spots him. I see her face light up but then she sees me and the corners of her mouth turn down in a scowl. She whispers something to her friends before marching over, her heels clicking rhythmically against the tiled floor.
“Isaac, honey!” she exclaims, shuffling over and pressing her lips pointedly on his cheek. I am shocked when my fingers clench into fists at the gesture. I frown at this reaction, gazing quizzically at my fingers curled inwards at my sides.
“Brittany,” Isaac intones, clearly not happy to see her. I relax slightly at this.
“How have you been? I haven’t talked to you in so long…” she pouts, puckering her lips near his face.
Isaac glances at me and pushes her gently on the shoulders, giving himself some room. “Fine, Brittany, just fine,” he says quietly; I quickly look down to hide my smile.
“Well, it just seems like you’re ignoring me,” she grumbles softly, crossing her arms tight across her chest emphasizing her low-cut tee. I softly snarl at this, knowing exactly what she is aiming for at this action.
Isaac doesn’t bother to look over. “I already explained. It would be better if we just don’t talk anymore.” I sense the tension emitting from him and glance at him with bewilderment. He just gives a shake of his head, clearly saying that we will talk later. I frown, glancing at Brittany. By the abrupt change in her features—anger now creasing her forehead—I realize that this is a very sensitive subject for both of them.
“But I miss you, baby,” she moans, slinging her arms around him.
“Brittany, seriously.” He suddenly stands, removing her arms from his chest. “I told you already. We are done.” His expression is stony. Brittany looks close to tears.
“So, you have already moved on, then?” She glares furiously at me, her lower lip quivering. I shake my head, trying to reassure her that her assumptions are false.
“No, she’s just a friend,” he whispers, noticing that everyone is starting to stare. I narrow my eyes at an overly curious man, and he quickly looks back to his plate. Satisfied, I turn to look at Isaac.
“Fine, Isaac,” Brittany finally utters before hurrying away, her blonde hair swinging. Her friends all shoot me deadly glares as they follow her to the bathroom. I cringe at their open hostility. What did I ever do to them? I wonder with a scowl. Peeking over at Isaac, I spot him running his fingers through his hair, a spasm of pain crossing his features, his eyes distant, residing in the past. My long-deceased heart reaches out to him as if the pain he feels is my own.
I sigh, standing up. “I’m sorry,” I whisper to him, hesitantly touching his hand.
He jumps, as if electrocuted, and I quickly remove my hand. “It’s not your fault,” he assures me. “But I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.”
I smile warmly at him. “Me too. Let’s get out of here.” And without thinking, I take his hand in mine, running for the door. I hear the waitress approach with our food. Isaac shoots a quick apology at her before we exit the café.
Out in the parking lot, we are soaked to the bone with chilling raindrops, washing away all the slushy snow into the gutters. I squeal, pulling Isaac faster towards his car. Once there, I release his hand, abandoning him for the passenger seat. I tug on the door but it stays steadfast. I glance widely at Isaac as rain stings my eyes. “Isaac!” I wail as he struggles to find his keys.
“I can’t find them!” he panics, digging in his pockets. I start jogging in place, hoping to keep warm while I wait patiently for him.
Finally, he pulls them triumphantly from his jeans. I smile, and he unlocks the door. I hear the click of my own and I swing it open, escaping inside. Slamming the door shut, Isaac puts the key into the ignition as I glance at him.
His hair is plastered to his forehead, a dark brown when wet. His skin is sprinkled with raindrops and his long-sleeved tee is molded to his—my eyes widen—muscled chest and arms. His eyelashes bat against his rosy cheeks, elongated by the rain, as he brushes the hair from his forehead. He glances over at me, his eyes sparkling with merriment as he pulls out into the street. I quickly glance away, knowing that I look a mess.
I can feel the water drip off of my hair that is now framed around my face. I pull at my shirt, fitting to me like a second skin, and my jeans squeak when I bend my knees. Isaac laughs as I struggle to get comfortable, and I can’t help but laugh with him. “Heat?” he asks, and I nod happily as my teeth begin to chatter.
He flicks the switch and heat gushes from the open vents. I close my eyes, basking in the hot air blowing steadily onto my face. I breathe deeply, enjoying the warmth, when suddenly my whole body tenses.
A scent like nothing I had ever encountered before enters unwillingly into my nostrils. It is heady, like the humid air on a summer’s day or a bonfire in the evening. It signifies everything hot and manly and it is emitting out of Isaac’s pores towards me. I struggle for control as my mouth begins to salivate.
His scent is intoxicating, swallowing me into its smoky depths. I try to concentrate on myself, on keeping my body in balance. I should have never gone out in the rain! The water must have washed off all of his cologne… I think as my pupils dilate.
The car is too small, his scent too strong. It fills the small cab with the mouthwatering scent, sending my hormones on a wild ride through my veins. I grab for the seat, holding it in a deathly grip. I hear the cushion give way beneath my supernatural strength and my nails pierce my skin through the fabric but still I hold on. I can’t afford to loose control in such a place where no one would know what happened. No one would find out, a voice caresses my ears. You could savor him, and no one would know…
I shake my head, fighting the urge to kill, to drink, to satisfy my thirst. His blood is hot, slowly warming to my taste. It pumps audibly through his veins like the most awful sin—so desirable yet so wrong. Isaac’s voice pierces the fog in my mind, and I clamp my eyes shut as he speaks. “So, where do you live?”
I swallow hard. “On a gravel road…121st street,” I tell him as another wave of scent flows over me. I stop breathing and it seems to help as I feel the tires hit gravel; he has turned off the main road.
My eyes fly open, and I spot the gate ahead. “You can stop here!” I practically shout, and Isaac slams on the breaks.
“But it’s raining,” he glances at me as the car screeches to a halt.
“It’s okay. I can manage,” I whisper, reaching for the door handle.
“Hey, Sophia!” he calls when I swing my legs out.
“Yes?” I ask, not looking at him, still struggling for control.
The scent is unbearable…so hot…so thirsty…
“Thanks for today,” he mumbles, and I eye him with surprise, for a moment forgetting his attractive fragrance.
“I didn’t…”
“For you being there and all,” he continues, smiling softly at me.
“Sure. No problem,” I manage to say.
“I’ll see you at school on Monday?” His voice is hopeful.
“Yeah,” I assure him as I leap from the car, slamming the door.
Outside in the clean air, his scent fades as he backs out onto the main road. I breathe again, and I hear him honk his horn. I wave when his lights flash before disappearing down the road.
As I walk up the driveway, my breathing returns to normal and my hands cease their shaking. Slowly, my pupils shrink to normal size and I can relax. Then the enormity of what just conspired hits me with such force that I drop to my knees.
I could have killed him…












