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This thread was created on April 22, 2008
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Topic ID: 29232
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Werewolf
Novice

Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Posts: 9 Reviews: 1 Country: CANADA! AND PROUD OF IT! 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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eh. It was actually not bad, although I am stongly opposed to H/HR. The writing was very welld one, and it flowed quite well. You had all the character pinned quite nicely. A few things I found that I couldn't believe was the whole singing dancing part, and when Hermione said her cousin made her take pole dancing lessons. But other then that, it wasn't that bad.
8/10 |
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harrypotterbooklover101
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 13 Joined: 10 Apr 2008 Posts: 89 Reviews: 9 Country: The Jellicle Junk Yard 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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| That is soooooooo sick.Is ron and Hermione,not Harry and Hermione! |
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Moriah Leila
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 21 Joined: 19 Jun 2008 Posts: 117 Reviews: 55 Country: United States 326 Points
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:13 am Post subject: |
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| I liked it. I was expecting something that followed the plot of the Harry Potter books and when that didn't happen I was so pleased. I mean other than pyhsical descriptions, Ron's accent and the names of the characters you basically created a whole new story. But I like the spin on the characters, it makes them different people. It would be interesting how Ron would react to this situation had he been sober since it seems in the original books that he has a thing for Hermoine. And Summerless said something about Harry and Ginny having children together. If that were the case wouldn't these new feelings for Hermoine put a big spin on things. But I loved what you did with your "whim". Very good job. |
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dianis97
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Posts: 26 Reviews: 12 Country: somewhere in South America ;) 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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Good job...I really liked it, but I never really expect harry thinking that way about Hermione
I like the way ron sounded like him...u know the mate thing also the accent made him sound drunk
it made me laugh a couple of times.....good job! |
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Diana! |
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spaced_out
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 12 Joined: 27 Apr 2008 Posts: 78 Reviews: 11 Country: USA! 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:55 am Post subject: |
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This was a very good piece.
What you need to do:
more talk.
less script-like
better work
WHAT YOU HAVE:
alto
a plot
discription
alot of other things
Now if you look at these, and improve, you can do this. TRUST ME
MATT |
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| This thread was created on April 22, 2008 |
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