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To an Empty Eyed Girl
To an Empty Eyed Girl

by AlexZyg in Lyric Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Other Poetry

This thread was created on November 30, 2004
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I Was His Slave
Topic ID: 228
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niteowl   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 3:38 am    Post subject: I Was His Slave Reply with quote

He bound and gagged me

Tied me to the chair

Then he walked away

Leaving me in hunger and pain



He ruled me.

I could only eat when he let me, 

Drink when he offered water,

Walk when he took me out of the chair

Bound to his wrist when we went out



I could not speak to anyone

Without his permission 

If i so much as smiled 

and waved to my best friend

It was a federal crime



If he wanted something from me

I had to give it to him

No matter what the price



One day, he handed me a knife

and said "Here, do what you will with it."

I aimed for his heart, and hit it dead-on



No blood gushed out

He didn't fall

He simply smiled his wicked smile and said



"I am immortal,I am all-encompassing.

You cannot wholly escape me

For i can't let you out of my sight

No matter how hard i may try."



I thought a bit, then realized

That sadly,his words were true

So rather than try to kill him again

I cut the ropes binding us 

And then I ran.



Halfway 'round the world i ran

On the joy of never seeing him again!

Through city, farm, mountain, even ocean

I neither noticed nor cared where I ran



Every so often, he calls or sends an e-mail

Just to keep in check, he says

And I always answer,whether i want to or not

For as he said,i can't escape



And guess what? 

He calls you too.

Maybe you were enslaved once 

Or maybe you are and you just can't see



He has infinite names

In every tongue

For if you don't have to be bound to his will

You must be God

Or maybe Satan



Maybe you know him as Fear

Maybe Doubts or Pessimism

To you, he could simply be Shyness

Or perhaps you know him better as Hate



No matter how you see him

Find the knife, and take it

For you shouldn't be that close.
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Skye   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is really good! Dark, with a good message in it.

Quote:
No matter how you see him
Find the knife, and take it
For you shouldn't be that close.


I love this last stanza; it really clicks with the rest of the poem.

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Meshugenah   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i agree. the overall feel is dark, and somewhat mysterious until the end. the first stanza really grabbed me. i wanted to know who or what was enslaving you. very accurate with human emotionsm as well. the feeling of depsiar, adn a humans instinct to hurt what is hurting them, even if there is a better alterniative (such as cutting the ropes)
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent!!! Brings tears to my eyes.

I was trying to think of who/what this person might be, and I loved how you left that until the end, giving many possibilities.

Wow. What a poem. Beautifully dark.
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2004 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I loved this poem. Especially that it had an underlying message with it. I love it!

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 4:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooh...very dark and creepy...but good....very good.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. Niteowl, I thought that this was one of your best. An excellent message, perfect flow and great description. Keep writing!
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, it really was awesome. Very well put.
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I loved it.

I hate posting on someone's work and not being able to give SOMETHING that I thought could have been improved, but I just loved this so much. It's well worded, flows beautifully, and the message is absolutely terrific. How many more compliments can I give this? It was fabulous!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with everyone else. It was beatifully written and mysterious and dark and just over all...brilliant. I lved the first stanza too. It makes you want to read on. That's good in a poem. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh wow its moving... Very Happy Nice job.
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This thread was created on November 30, 2004

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