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Every Angel Has To Fall Chapter 1 Pt 1
Every Angel Has To Fall Chapter 1 Pt 1

by olivia1987uk in Romantic Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction

This thread was created on June 11, 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:38 pm    Post subject: Rebirth(03) Reply with quote

Chapter 3

It was 10:00pm when Katherine and I went to the airport.

“Call me when you arrive in Tulsa,” Katherine said as she hugged me.

“I will,” I said as I hugged her back. We said our good-byes and I boarded the plane. The plane took off and a couple of hours later, I arrived at Tulsa airport. Nefert was waiting for me, along with two of the warriors who protected the school.

“I almost didn’t recognize you with your short hair,” she said as we hugged. We picked up my suitcase and put it in the trunk of a black suburban. I climbed into the passage side and she slid into the driver’s side. The two warriors got into a similar looking car. She drove over to the school.

“So, what is this about?” I asked. Nefert punched the code into the pad and the gates opened. She drove forward and parked the car. She turned off the car.

“I will have a warrior show you where you will be staying,” she said as we got out of the car. A warrior came and got my bag. Nefert started to walk away.

“Nefert! What is this about?” I yelled after her.

“Zoey,” she said as she turned to me. She saw my grief stricken face at the name she used. “Sorry, Aubrey then. Get some rest and then come and see me. No students will bother us because every students is away on holiday,” she said. It was during the summer; so all fledglings were away, visiting their parents. I growled at her for not giving me a strait answered, and then sighed.

“Alright,” I said. Nefert nodded to the warrior to continue, and then walked away, vanishing into the school’s shadow.

“This way, if you please,” the warrior said. He led me away to the school. I noticed he lead me past the gym and the dorm-rooms, places I remembered well. We were walking towards the temple of the goddess Nyx.

Why are we here? I thought as we walked inside and climbed the stairs. We were going to the high priestess’s loft I realized. The warrior opened one of the doors and stepped aside.

“After you,” he said. I walked into the room, him right behind me. He set my suitcase near the door. The room was large and had an open air feel to it. Large chairs, a desk and a low bed were the only furniture in the loft. The wooden floor was bare and at the back of the room, an altar of the goddess stood in place.

“You will be staying here. I will come for you when Nefert wants you,” he said as he stepped out of the room and left, closing the door behind him.

“What on earth is going on?” I asked myself aloud as I turned around away from the door. I sighed ands pull my suitcase towards the bed. I sat on the bed and pull out my cell phone. I dialed the home phone number and waited.

“Hello?” Katherine’s voice came over.

“Hey, girlfriend,” I said with a smile.

“Aubrey, how is it there in Tulsa?” she asked, added her own Okie tang to it. I laughed at her.

“Pretty good,” I said.

“So, what’s going to happen/” she asked.

“I don’t know yet. My friend wants me to rest before I see her,” I said, plucking at the sheets.

“Oh well, I guess I will let you go so you can rest. Give me a call tomorrow night, k?” she asked me.

“K. Night, sweetheart,” I said before I turned off the phone. I plugged it up, so it could charge. I realized I was getting a little bit tired with a yawn, so I pulled off my shirt and pants, leaving me in my bra and panties. I crawled into the bed, pulled the sheets over me and fell into a sleep.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I climbed into the passage side and she slid into the driver’s side.


I think you mean the passenger side.

Quote:
The two warriors got into a similar looking car.


Maybe you should say where the other car is. Beside them, behind, ect.

Quote:
She drove forward and parked the car. She turned off the car.


I think you can make this better by combining these two sentences.

Quote:
I growled at her for not giving me a strait answered, and then sighed.


Straight answer

Quote:
Why are we here? I thought as we walked inside and climbed the stairs.


I think you should italicize her thoughts.

Quote:
I sighed ands pull my suitcase towards the bed.


and pulled

A lot better with the sentences!

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This thread was created on June 11, 2008

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