3/5/08

090 – Home

So much has changed since I left. My grandpa told me about how his grandpa told him about the days when kids ran down the street to their friends’, played hopscotch on the sidewalk and catch in their backyards. Now kids aren’t allowed outside without adult supervision. Most games and sports are played in gymnasiums now. But things have gotten worse while I was gone.

There’re curfews now, before dark, and police cars are everywhere. One would think that you’d feel safer with so much presence, that nothing would dare happen, but somehow it just makes you feel more exposed, more threatened. There are always cameras watching everyone. I don’t remember those.

Yet some things are the same. Molly’s Diner, a little run-down shack with the best burgers and the worst coffee you have ever tasted, is still open and Molly is still behind the counter. She tells me that the health officials are eyeing her, but she’s not worried. There’d be riots if Molly’s was closed down. Too much of the good things have been sucked out of this city.

But my family is here. My wife, Sarah, was pregnant when I left. Now the baby is four years old. Sarah calls her Sissy, but her real name is Patricia. She’s still afraid of me, but Sarah says that she’s just shy. That hurts. My own child doesn’t know me because of some corporate idiot’s mistake. The war, the depression, the crime rate… That guy should be skinned and salted.

At least I’m home, in a warm bed. I still have to worry about being shot – probably more so than when I was on duty – but at least the food is good and hot water comes at the touch of a handle. Sarah’s here, Sissy’s here. As soon as I get back to normal, we’ll move and find somewhere not so bad. Maybe a little suburb somewhere. But for now, I’m home.