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Forever
Forever

by Teddybear22 in Other Poetry
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This thread was created on June 9, 2008
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Twilight

Topic ID: 31381
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Essence of BloodLust   View This User's Portfolio
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300 Points

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:56 am    Post subject: Twilight Reply with quote

Today was the day.

I could feel all of the anxiety that had been building over the past few weeks bearing down on me. My lungs seemed to be devoid of air. I stood; staring into the full body mirror looking at a person I didn’t recognize but could get used to in time. My dress was beautiful and trailed on the floor behind me as I paced the room with my hand on my clammy forehead. Alice had spent nearly an hour pinning my hair atop my head and doing my makeup but it was all going to waste now as I sweat nervously and my hair began to slip out of place.

A soft knock at the door interrupted my nervous pacing as I answered with a slightly breathless “ come in.”

My father walked in, dressed in his only suit, his hair combed, and beaming. This surprised me. Ever since I told him, my father hadn’t been pleased to say the least but now, to see him grin as he took in my formal figure was unexpected.

Pleasant yes, but unexpected.

“ You look beautiful, Bells.” He said, the emotion thick in his voice.

“ Thank you.” I whispered as the tears welled in his eyes.

Between Charlie and me, there had never been a lot of sharing of emotion and now to see him cry made moisture brim in my own eyes.

“ Dad, what’s wrong?” I said.

“ I’m sorry, Bella.” He said shaking his head. “ I’m happy for you and Edward but it’s just hard to see my little girl grown up and starting a family of her own.”

And I could tell that it was. In his eyes I was still little Bella who had colored him pictures of them playing together, the same little Bella who was so determined to do stuff on her own, she’d break her arm trying to get a ball out of a tree. And to him I would always be that little girl.

“Dad,” I whispered closing the distance between us and hugging him.

He returned the embrace and after a minute, pulled himself together again and looked at his watch.

“ It looks like it’s time. You ready, honey?” he said offering me his arm.

I took a deep breath, checking myself in the mirror before taking his arm and letting him lead me on to where my future waited.

As I began to walk down the aisle, led by my father, my eyes skimmed the room. Angela, Ben, Jessica, and Mike all sat together, turning around to smile at me. Next were my mom and Phil, sitting up front next to Carlisle and Esme who were all beaming at me as I made my way, surprisingly without falling. My mom, though, was crying. Man, two in one day. I was on a role. Moving on, I looked up at the people surrounding the altar. To one side stood Alice and Rosalie, a last minute act of kindness on my part, and to the other stood Jasper and Emmett, both grinning. Finally, saving the best for last, I looked at my love. He stood staring at me with such intensity that my step faltered, running my perfect entrance. The look of utter happiness took my breath away and made my heart feel as If it would pound out of my chest. He was so beautiful in his black tuxedo, that even after all this time; it still felt like a dream. One from which I never wanted to wake.

When we finally reached him, my father, with hands shaking, handed me off, speaking his words of consent. Edward took me hand in his as the priest began to speak his lines. I didn’t look anywhere else; I had eyes only for Edward whose eyes were sparkling as he looked down at me, smiling my crooked smile.

“ How’s your foot?” he asked, so low only I could hear.

I rolled my eyes. “ As good as can be expected in these suicidal shoes. Alice has a fetish for shoes that put your life at risk, doesn’t she?”

He chuckled under his breath. “ I suppose so.”

We both exchanged our vows, which resulted in me crying, to my great embarrassment, and then we took turns placing our rings on one another. They were a vintage pair Edward had found somewhere and no matter how much I complained he refused to tell me how much they were and insisted on wearing them. And after much of his illegal persuasion, I gave in.

“ I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the priest announced, smiling at us. “You may kiss your bride.”

Edward leaned closer to me, placing his cool hand against my check and then, in front of my parents, his parents, and everyone we kissed. It was the most exhilarating moment of my life as his lips crushed mine and he kissed me, my husband, with such tenderness that the tears welled in my eyes once again.

“ I love you, Bella Cullen.” He whispered, pulling away from me and looking down into my tear filled eyes with his butterscotch ones.

“ I love you, Edward Cullen. Always and Forever.”

Alice had been right.

It shouldn’t surprise me by now but it did. The reception was absolutely breathtaking and despite all my worrying, it looked as if Alice had known what she was talking about when she said it would be just what I needed. As I set next to Edward his hand in mine, I’d never felt more like I belonged there. We were now joined together because he was mine and I was his forever and all eternity. He smiled at me encouragingly and stood up, leading us, I realized to late, to the dance floor.

“Um, Edward, must we do this?” I asked, trying to drag my feet as much as possible.

“ It is tradition.” He said, picking me up slightly and half carrying me until we stood in the middle of the floor. I began to panic.

“ Calm down, love. We’ve done this before remember?”

He picked me up and slipped his feet under mine so that I was standing on his shoes. Everyone clapped a second before the music started. Edward had been the one to pick out the song and I hadn’t heard it yet so when the soft rhythm began to play, I listened more closely. It was hard to concentrate, being so close to Edward, but somehow I managed to hear the words of the song.

Dear my love, haven't you

wanted to be with me

and dear my love, haven't

you longed to be free…

We're leaving here tonight

There's no need to tell anyone

They'd only hold us down

So by the morning light

We'll be half way to anywhere

Where love is more than just your name…

I felt tears begin to burn in my eyes as the emotion of the words struck me. Edward was singing along with the words, his voice a soothing counterpart even in contrast to the woman singing.

I have dreamt of a place for you and I

No one knows who we are there

All I want is to give my

life only to you

I've dreamt so long I

cannot dream anymore

Let's run away, I'll take you there…

Forget this life

Come with me

Don't look back you're safe now

Unlock your heart

Drop your guard

No one's left to stop you now.

I held tight to him as we were gliding across the floor, tears pouring down my face as he gently kissed each one away.

“ Thank you, Edward.” I finally choked out, kissing his neck.

He kissed away another tear, stroking the side of my face with care.

“ Anything for you, my love.”

Note: Credit of Lyrics goes to Evanescence and their song Anywhere.


_________________
Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. ~Mark Overby


Last edited by Essence of BloodLust on Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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BellaLuna   View This User's Portfolio
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Joined: 03 Feb 2007
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300 Points

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beautiful story! I loved it. Smile

Quote:
“ How’s your foot?” he asked, so low only I could hear.

I rolled my eyes. “ As good as can be expected in these suicidal shoes. Alice has a fetish for shoes that put your life at risk, doesn’t she?”


Hahaha. Loved that part.
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Livinginfantasy   View This User's Portfolio
YAY Violence!
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Age: 15
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 441
Reviews: 178
Country: Fantasy... DUH
562 Points

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 3:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That... Was... Brilliant!

You captured Bella and Edward, and your writing style did fit Stephenie's quite nicely.

Fav Parts!
Quote:
“ How’s your foot?” he asked, so low only I could hear.
I rolled my eyes. “ As good as can be expected in these suicidal shoes. Alice has a fetish for shoes that put your life at risk, doesn’t she?”
He chuckled under his breath. “ I suppose so.”


And...

Quote:
Dear my love, haven't you
wanted to be with me
and dear my love, haven't
you longed to be free…
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name…
I felt tears begin to burn in my eyes as the emotion of the words struck me. Edward was singing along with the words, his voice a soothing counterpart even in contrast to the woman singing.
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my
life only to you
I've dreamt so long I
cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there…
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now.
I held tight to him as we were gliding across the floor, tears pouring down my face as he gently kissed each one away.
“ Thank you, Edward.” I finally choked out, kissing his neck.
He kissed away another tear, stroking the side of my face with care.
“ Anything for you, my love.”


Bravo! Just one thing though, review your grammar, 'kay! Very Happy

_________________
Having a Bad Day?
"May a thousand fleas infest the crotch
of the person who screwed up your day,
and give them too short of arms to scratch."


Last edited by Livinginfantasy on Wed Jun 11, 2008 5:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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writ3rindisguis3   View This User's Portfolio
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Joined: 07 May 2008
Posts: 63
Reviews: 30
Country: A place in my imagination...
300 Points

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesome job! I love to read people's ideas on how Edward's and Bella's wedding might be. This is one of my more favorite works!

Watch your grammar in places.

Quote:
“ How’s your foot?” he asked, so low only I could hear.
I rolled my eyes. “ As good as can be expected in these suicidal shoes. Alice has a fetish for shoes that put your life at risk, doesn’t she?”
He chuckled under his breath. “ I suppose so.”


Totally loved these lines!

I like the song you picked for this. Beautiful words.

Keep writing!

Becca

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Did I just run a green light?
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Antares   View This User's Portfolio
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Joined: 09 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Really good. I liked it.

I found it strange how at the beginning your dialogue wasn't correct but then it was at the end.

Quote:
A soft knock at the door interrupted my nervous pacing as I answered with a slightly breathless[,] “come in.”


Quote:
“You look beautiful, Bells[,][h]e said, the emotion thick in his voice.


...And so forth.

The only part I'm not really sure of is Bella's dad. He seems to sway between emotions throughout a short space of time. Happy, sad, protective. Perhaps you could try to narrow it down a little and keep it a little more believable. Also, Bella tends to call him 'Charlie' more than father or dad.

Quote:
As I set sat next to Edward his hand in mine...


Finally, I love how you have managed to keep Edward and Bella in character. Edward's humour is the best. Well done with that.

That's all from me, good luck with future stories!
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Essence of BloodLust   View This User's Portfolio
Junior Writer

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Age: 13
Joined: 10 Jun 2008
Posts: 24
Reviews: 11
Country: USA
300 Points

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Antares wrote:
Really good. I liked it.

I found it strange how at the beginning your dialogue wasn't correct but then it was at the end.

Quote:
A soft knock at the door interrupted my nervous pacing as I answered with a slightly breathless[,] “come in.”


Quote:
“You look beautiful, Bells[,][h]e said, the emotion thick in his voice.


...And so forth.

The only part I'm not really sure of is Bella's dad. He seems to sway between emotions throughout a short space of time. Happy, sad, protective. Perhaps you could try to narrow it down a little and keep it a little more believable. Also, Bella tends to call him 'Charlie' more than father or dad.

Quote:
As I set sat next to Edward his hand in mine...


Finally, I love how you have managed to keep Edward and Bella in character. Edward's humour is the best. Well done with that.

That's all from me, good luck with future stories!


Thank you and i understand what you mean about her father and with her calling him dad, i just felt like it fit better and would be right in the emotional moment it was. Thank you for your honesty!

_________________
Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. ~Mark Overby
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dianis97   View This User's Portfolio
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Country: somewhere in South America ;)
300 Points

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was amazing!, you captured the characters really well, it really make me feel like if i was reading Stephenie's writing!
nice job, I've got nothing bad to say about this, it was brilliant
I love Edward's sense of humor and the part of the shoes was awsome! Wink
an awsome piece of writing! and the song was just perfect Wink I loved it

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Diana!
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Scorpia   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beautiful story! I Love Twilight, the cance was sweet. You did the characters well, sometimes people just mangle the characters until they are...really weird lol.
Good job. I sometimes don't like fics with songs mentioned in them, I fiond it irrataiting. This was okay, even though I do not reconize the song, lol. Smile

I love your avater by the way. Mine just sits there and does not move, lol.
Scorpia

_________________
"Affliction comes to us, not to make us sad but sober; not to make us sorry but wise."
Beecher, Henry Ward

"You grow up on the day you have a first real laugh at, youself."
Ethel Barrymore
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This thread was created on June 9, 2008

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