Topic ID: 29669
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Demeter
Goody-two-shoes
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 15
Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 1055
Reviews: 291
Country: Finland – the noble land of polar bears and Santa Claus
3441 Points
|
 Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 9:20 am Post subject: An ode to sarcasm |
 |
|
I'd like to have reviews, even and especially you didn't like it. 
********************************************
About three years ago, when I was twelve, I told my friend (who was 15 then) that she was a very sarcastic and cynical person. Not the most tactful thing to say, and I'm still not sure if I actually knew what I had just slipped.
She began to laugh. "Did you hear what she said?" she said, not really to anyone. Alright, I guess it's kind of funny when some brat starts to hopping around with stuff like that. But actually she seemed to be rather pleased. I almost heard her sigh "fantastic".
Then, about half a year ago, one of my classmates asked me: "Why are you always being so sarcastic?" She only wanted to know that out of curiosity, and I wasn't sure what to answer. I felt rather flattered, but I couldn't help thinking: Does it show? Am I always like that? Does it annoy the others? (Just to give you a few things that anyone thoroughly sarcastic shouldn't even write down.)
People associate sarcastic people with an aggressive attitude and hatred towards the world. And the thought of being better than others. And with supposed-to-be-funny comments, crashing both other people's dreams and their self-esteem.
But you can also defend yourself with sarcasm. That's what I've learnt to do every time someone tries to come and offend me. It's not necessary to repeat my wisecracks, but just between you and me, I'm still pretty proud of them. Even if I don't always manage to say anything that I could boast about later, I've actually started to long for opportunities to get to have a hold over the offender with a few mere words. The little pleasures of life...
People don't just learn to be sarcastic. You've got to be born to it. But on the other hand, I don't feel like I've always been like this. What do you know? Our little friend S has been living inside of me from the very beginning, knowing that someday it would be allowed to come out and truly rise and shine.
But still I feel a little stupid when I have to say one of my favourite words in the world (in addition to "Disney" and "whatsoever") out loud to someone else. Sssss... there it comes. Ssss... arcasm. Sarcasm. There. Good. |
_________________
While you were reading my signature, I took your wallet.
Last edited by Demeter on Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:53 am; edited 4 times in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
GryphonFledgling
*glomps November*
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 30 Dec 2007
Posts: 808
Reviews: 471
Country: my desk... writing... furiously... <.< >.> ...yeah...
630 Points
|
| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:19 pm Post subject: Re: An ode to sarcasm |
|
|
Hey, welcome to YWS!
| Quote: |
| I told once (three years ago?) to my friend (who's a couple of years older than me) that she was a very sarcastic and cynical person. |
This sentence is kind of awkward and I really don't think the parenthesis are necessary. Perhaps you could rework and reword it so that it flows a bit better, something along the lines of:
Three years ago, I told my older friend that she was a very sarcastic and cynical person.
| Quote: |
| It wasn't even half a year ago, when one of classmates asked me: "Why are you always being so sarcastic?" |
Again, a little awkward with your sense of time.
"Then, half a year ago, one of my classmates asked me: "Why..."
It just flows a bit better.
| Quote: |
| (Things that anyone really sarcastic shouldn't even write down.) |
I was confused as to where this fits in with its paragraph. Is it a degradation of your own form of sarcasm? If so, I would take it out of the parenthesis and expand on it a little bit more.
| Quote: |
| But you can also defend yourself with sarcasm. That's what I've learnt to do every time someone tries to come and offend me. |
| Quote: |
| Even if I don't always manage to say anything that I could boast about later, |
| Quote: |
| People born, not learn, to be sarcastic. And on the other hand, they learn, not born. |
Very awkward again here. Something more like: "Some people are born to be, not learn learn to be, sarcastic. And on the other hand, some learn, not are born to it."
In any case, I liked this piece. It seemed kind of like a bit of rambling thought. It would have been nice to have a few examples of sarcasm in your piece, however. Really the only one was at the end, with the "ssssssarcasm" gag. With a title like you have, I was expecting far more of the topic of discussion being used. I'm pitifully sarcastic myself, but I know a few sarcastic people and in a way, I wish I could be like them. They seem so sure of themselves, and I've seen sarcasm used in ways other than to beat people down. I'd love to see what your piece could dish up.
Welcome once more to YWS! I hope to see you around more!
~GryphonFledgling |
_________________
Ink is the strongest drug, the deepest ocean, the longest journey and the strangest love. ~me
Jareth/Sarah shipper...
Kickin' butt and not stopping to take wordcount. NaNo 2008! Read my novel here! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Eimear
It ain't me, babe
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Posts: 646
Reviews: 314
Country: In a Dickens novel
500 Points
|
| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I love rambeling! Not- if you're so inclined- around the countryside in shorts and walking boots...yikes- no, this type of rambeling! A thought! A spark- almost an arguement with oneself before falling asleep, only to wake up mildly annoyed and to take it out on one's mother. Hehe.
Back to the task in hand, Eimear. Nice job on this sarcasm piece. I guess it's a fact that most tragic teenagers take it as a compliment.
Few points, although I won't exhaust them seeing as GryphonFledgling has already covered them.
1. The sentence structure is very awkward. Revise it. Take a look at other people's work who have done similar topics to you and learn from them. Heck, just keep reading and reading and reading and pretty soon writing fluidly will be no different.
2. I've said this before, why not make it longer? Expand? This isn't really a negative crit because this piece really interested me and can you blame me for wanting some more?
Anyways, nice job.
It was really bad.
Hehe. Sarcasm is a gift.
Eimear |
_________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
-Oscar Wilde- |
|
| Back to top |
|
XxxDo
Oh, life..
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 384
Reviews: 87
Country: Switzerland and The Netherlands
374 Points
|
| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 2:04 pm Post subject: - |
|
|
That was pretty funny 
Sarcasm rules !
The other repliers have basically covered all real critisism, so there's nothing for me to do except say that I like it ! 
XxxDo |
_________________
I love NaNoWriMo ^^ it is the absolute awesomeness. |
|
| Back to top |
|
LolitaRose
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Posts: 31
Reviews: 10
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 3:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| And with supposed-to-be-funny comments, crashing both other people's dreams and their self-esteem. |
| Quote: |
| But you can also defend yourself with sarcasm. |
| Quote: |
| And the thought of being better than others. |
This might be just me, but I was always taught never to begin sentences with 'and' and 'but.' Other than that, it's good! |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Kalliope
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 232
Reviews: 107
Country: somewhere between heaven and hell
324 Points
|
| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:31 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hey there, Demeter!
Here's the crit I promised [I'm not all that good with non-fiction, though.]
| Quote: |
| Not the most tactless thing to say, and I'm still not sure if I actually knew what I had just slipped. |
I'm a little confused with this. Do you mean not tactless [= tactful] or not tactful [=tactless]?
| Quote: |
| Alright, I guess it's kind of funny when some brat starts to hopping around with stuff like that. |
You use quite a fair share of thats throughout this piece. Maybe try to eliminate some of them and use more sepecific words?
| Quote: |
She only wanted know that out of curiosity, and I didn't know what to answer. |
In this part for example you can just ditch that.
Try not to repeat words so close to eachother. Ways to change this would be:
She was just curious, ... or She just wanted to know out of curiosity, and I had no idea what to answer.
I wonder if maybe but would fit better than and in this sentence. In my ears it sounds somewhat better.
Okay, those were the nitpicks
I thought this was cute actually. A little rambly towards the end, but then I really love your last paragraph. Maybe you could use some more irony and sarcasm throughout your piece. That would make it really fun.
Happy Writing!
~Kalliope |
_________________
If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carol (1832-98 )
Got YWS? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gahks
Tsar of the Subjunctive
Speaker of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 25 Jan 2008
Posts: 801
Reviews: 126
Country: Wherever I happen to be.
299 Points
|
| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:46 am Post subject: |
|
|
This really has potential!
I really liked the way you started off with some wry anecdotes but I found the argument in defence of sarcasm a bit thin on the ground. Your conclusion also seemed rushed. Try to flesh out your main points some more so your audience can really enjoy your witticisms and other wonderful moments.
Like I said, this really has potential. Just put some more effort into it, be more sarcastic (sarcastic about sarcasm, geddit?) and just get your teeth into the subject. It's a great topic: make the most of it!
6/10 |
_________________
"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." William Faulkner.
Check out my music site: www.finetune.com/user/gahks
My site: www.freewebs.com/bethywriters |
|
| Back to top |
|
Jellybee
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 17 May 2008
Posts: 15
Reviews: 6
Country: Canada-Québec!
300 Points
|
| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 4:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
Your text reminds me so many people in my entourage ^^. I'm not a sarcasm person, or ironic- I'm just a thinker,lol- but I just laugh when they say something that is so true, and even if it's against me, I just applaud 'cause it's true and well say- weird sense of humor, I know.
I like the way you're saying all the things and even if some sentences are a little awkward, it stays in the style of the text- so it's not a so big thing I think.
I want to read more about you! |
_________________
No one lies to everybody. Everybody lies to one. Pline The Young_ |
|
| Back to top |
|
Thriving Fire
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 04 Mar 2007
Posts: 113
Reviews: 40
Country: Ireland- Land of Saints, Scholars and Leprechauns
567 Points
|
| Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Hmm... I could do the whole literary critic thing and analyse your expression, the flow of the piece, all that jazz, but I'm not in the mood. I'm gonna annoy you in a whole different way instead
You said people are born sarcastic. Well they're not. Both sarcasm and cynicism (although those two words are completely different, another thing I'm not in the mood to go into) stem from something that we've gone through, or seen (or heard, or whatever) before that makes us be that way. We experience something, and our brain goes 'wait! I've seen that before and I don't like it!', so it decides to be sarcastic and snide.
Example: You see someone showing off and say something sarcastic. This is because you've seen that before, but only now you're brain has had time to decide how to react.
In this way, sarcasm is made, and not born.*
*Apologies if this entire post is sprawling, worthless and/or irrelevant. Abuse it at will |
_________________
I have an idea about these voices I hear
They're audible to everyone
Everyone but me |
|
| Back to top |
|
nilou-and-amani
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 09 May 2008
Posts: 42
Reviews: 19
Country: La La land...
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:41 pm Post subject: |
|
|
This was really confusing! Don't get me wrong, i like confusing! I love reading random self contradictory pives of writing, and that's exactly what this is!
Subtle sarcasm is good, but i hate it when people overdo it.
You could have made it longer, evaluated more on your point, but it's great. |
_________________
"Security is mortal's chiefest enemy"- William Shakespeare |
|
| Back to top |
|
Hope Night
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 04 Jun 2008
Posts: 11
Reviews: 1
300 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:06 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Nice! I have a friend who is very sarcastic! It's slightly awkward in some places but still very funny and true about sarcasm and its uses. |
_________________
There are two things in this world, good and evil. As for me? I'm independent. -Me |
|
| Back to top |
|
salsashanno
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Posts: 110
Reviews: 42
Country: here, not there
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| it was nice, but it sounded more like a blog post. the end was especially confusing, you have to be born into it, but you haven't always been sarcastic? are you trying to say that you're not a truly sarcastic person? OR are you trying to be sarcastic? im just a little bit confuzzled. |
_________________
"A wild thing may say wild things." |
|
| Back to top |
|
strawberry saliva
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 03 Apr 2008
Posts: 16
Reviews: 1
300 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
That was nice.
i also have an extremely sarcastic friend.
i mean he actually speaks sarcasm as a second language.
all in all i think it was a great piece. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
ThanatosPrinciple
Writer
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 02 Feb 2008
Posts: 56
Reviews: 37
Country: England, France, Itlay and Germany
350 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 6:35 am Post subject: An ode to Sarcasm |
|
|
You know, I'm not really sure what it is that 'an ode to sarcasm' is. What was it supposed to be.
Plus, you asked for it to be reviewed, and I don't think we know what to review. Sure, it's a piece of
writing, but I don't know whether to critique the language used or debate the thoughts and ideas
behind it. |
_________________
With this magical drrrink I shall RULE THE WORLD! Mwhahahaha! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Wojovox
Writer
Gender:
Age: 21
Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 65
Reviews: 44
300 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Sarcasm is great. One of my expertise. I'm not sure now, I didn't take that as a piece of litterature to be critiqued. Sounded to be you wanted to talk about sarcasm and the pros and cons that come along with and everyone that replied gave you grammitcal correction. Correct me if I'm wrong.
But I'm going to respond in a manner no one else seems to have. Seeing as how we're in a NON-FICTION forum.
Sarcasm can be used in just about any case dependent upon the seriousness of the situation. But most situations in our lives are not too serious. People that think sarcastic people are arrogant need to look at themselves. I've been called arrogant a lot for the way I act and what I've said, but I have never judged those which I have spoken to. So tell me who is right? I realize the potential in everyone and I generally like everyone I meet. So to the ones that are not sarcatic, please don't call us sarcastic people names. We're more lighthearted than you seem to understand. Sarcasm to me shows a point of confidence as well. It's saying I know exactly what you are talking about and a little bit more so I'm going to mess with you a little to see how much you know.
I love you non-sarcastic people, but you sarcastic people----I'm infatuated. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
