Topic ID: 30257
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Kairii
Novice
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 12
Reviews: 3
213 Points
|
 Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject: Myaku (Pulse) |
 |
|
Raindrops kiss the top of her head
You wish you were dead
You know this should end
Because this is where you screwed up again
You've lost her again
You'll never win
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
The sun goes down on her fragile dreams
Her starry eyes blur
Her gentle heart breaks
Look at what you've done once again
You kill her inside
She's losing her mind
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
Just one more time
Just one more night
I'll give you a song
If you give me a line
Pause and replay
Heartbeats delay
Restart and resign
Just one more time
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
Just one more time
Just one more night
I'll give you a song
If you give me a line |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Angel of Death
beauty is inside
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 04 Nov 2007
Posts: 641
Reviews: 327
Country: Where the big star in the sky doesn't leave
1247 Points
|
| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I loved this Kairii, what genre of music would you put this under. I could see soft rock or pop. Well anyways, I love the message that you were sending. Great song.
Keep writing,
Angel |
_________________
"Like the apple that passed through both the lips of Adam and Eve, you are forbidden. So if I were to pick you from a garden that has been coveted by another man, then I shall have hell to pay for my sins,"-Me |
|
| Back to top |
|
Kairii
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 12
Reviews: 3
213 Points
|
| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 8:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I would probably classify it under "emo" rock. Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it! |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Shine
Do I've a crush or an orange crush?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 964
Reviews: 358
Country: India
407 Points
|
| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Kairii this was really good!I mean there is so much emotion and feeling into it seriously.No doubt its under "emo rock".The message in it is perfect.The only crit is that in the chorus part was not so interesting as the single parts. And even though you are writing a lyric you I think still should use the punctuations.
Good luck!
Keep posting!
~Shine~ |
_________________
"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh. |
|
| Back to top |
|
panic at the rodeo
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 49
Reviews: 10
300 Points
|
| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 6:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ayu! I love this song!! It's such a sorrowful sweet song! Sometime you must sing it to me! ( ) I think emo rock is a good genre for it... OR ASIAN POP!!! [I'm absolutely in love with Asian pop right now!]
As for reviewing it... I like the chorus! It is soft and light! I know how you'd sing it so I know that it fits and it def. fits your personality! (your emo personality) I like your soft side! Way different than the Ayu I sit with at lunch!!! |
_________________
Live life the right way:
JUMP IN MUD PUDDLES!!! |
|
| Back to top |
|
phantom_blackfire_wings
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 204
Reviews: 28
Country: USA
301 Points
|
| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 5:09 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Good job, Kairii.
Defenitly emo rock. I like the way it flows and the wording really well. You can tell what the song is portraying.
I really like this and can imagine you, my evil master, playing it.
Toodles.
Risa |
_________________
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -Robert Bloch
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams |
|
| Back to top |
|
Phantomofthebasket
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 20 May 2008
Posts: 6
Reviews: 3
Country: US of A
300 Points
|
| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
YAY!
Good job, Kairii! I appluade this... err... genius piece of music! Now all you need to figure out is the actual MUSIC, right?
=P
ANYHOO... VERY GOOD, as always! |
_________________
"Remember, remember the fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot. I've no reason the gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot." --V, from V for Vendetta |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
