Icaruss
Disgustingly Honest.
Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 17
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 476
Reviews: 112
Country: Peru.
354 Points
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 Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 7:10 am Post subject: Mid-Wife. |
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PAGE ONE (5 panels, thin panels going from the top to bottom of the page)
Panel 1. We get a really red face. And it looks like she’s in pain too. And screaming. So we get a close-up of a woman, who’s screaming, and whose face is very, very red. She’s also sweating profusely. She has blonde hair, which is beginning to darken because of the amount of sweat that’s coming from her forehead. She’s also grinding her teeth. In simple terms, she looks very, very angry. They way we see it, she could either be being tortured, or something along the sort. Actually, she’s giving birth. She’s in her tub, filled with hot water, and is in the middle of labour, and has a towel wrapped around her body since it’s the middle of winter. A mid-wife, which we can’t see, is sitting besides her, talking her through the process. We’ll get to her later. Right now, we stick with the woman. Her name is Bertha.
BERTHA (burst): OH SHIT! OH MY FUCKING SHIT!
MIDWIFE STELLA (OFFPANEL): WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO--
BERTHA (burst): I’M FUCKING DYING!! OH GOD—! TAKE IT OUT!! JUST RIP THAT LITTLE FUCKER OUT!
Panel 2. Cut to Stella’s face. She looks calmed, not bothered at all by the shouting. She is an old, robust lady, those of whom you are afraid of disrespecting –even though they look perfectly innocent. She is looking downwards, towards Stella, who’s off-panel. She is wearing a brightly coloured bandana, to hide the fact that she has very little hair.
MIDWIFE STELLA: WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO, BERTHA, IS TRY AND CALM YOU’SELF DOWN, OK?
BERTHA (O.P.): BUT IT’S FREAKING KILLING ME! THE LITTLE BASTARD IS KILLING ME!!
MIDWIFE STELLA: EVERYTHING IS FINE, BERTHA. YOU JUST NEED TO--
BERTHA (in small lettering, O.P.): JESUS CHRIST…
Panel 3. We return to Bertha, who’s a bit more calmed. Or at least trying to be. She’s taking deep breaths, practically beating the air into her nose, closing her eyes. She’s still looks furious, though, and she’s still definitely red.
MIDWIFE STELLA (O.P.): YOU JUST NEED TO CALM DOWN.
MIDWIFE STELLA (O.P.): TAKE DEEP BREATHS.
BERTHA (wobbly): AHUUH--- HUFF.
MIDWIFE STELLA (O.P.): THAT’S GOOD. YOU’RE DOING REALLY GOOD.
Panel 4. Suddenly, a hand comes into the panel, softly touching Bertha’s cheek. Bertha is looking at the hand, disgusted. That hand belongs to Arthur Woodman, her husband and lover. It’s his child she’s giving birth to.
ARTHUR (O.P.): I’M PROUD OF YOU, HONEY.
Panel 5. Same as the first. Bertha screaming, furious and sweaty. The Arthur’s hand has left panel.
BERTHA (burst): YOU’RE PROUD OF ME?! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU DID THIS TO ME, YOU ASSHOLE! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ME! GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!
PAGE TWO (7 panels)
Panel 1. We go out the room, into a nice looking corridor. He closes the door behind him. We are inside a somewhat wealthy house. Carpeted floors, nice paintings, and the such. Nothing too fancy, or very expensive, but just nice. Arthur himself is wearing pretty expensive clothes, and looks exhausted.. He is must be almost 40. Something is hurting his ears.
BERTHA (O.P., coming from the door, burst): I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS, ARTHUR! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU FOR THIS!
Panel 2. We get a close-up to Arthur’s face as he closes the bathroom door, looking over his shoulder, smiling a bit.
Panel 3. We then go to a different setting altogether. We’re in the house’s kitchen now. Arthur is standing next to a half-drank bottle of wine, and a half-full glass. In the kitchen, everything is white, as if it were a hospital. The ground is meticulously clean, as well as the walls, which have a small flower pattern painted on them. Arthur is waiting for his woman to give birth, and he intends on getting drunk to make the waiting shorter. Someone off-panel is calling him and he looks like he doesn’t want to turn around to see who he is. Or, maybe he just doesn’t want to share his wine.
GREG (O.P.): YOU KNOW, THE DOOR WAS OPEN. YOU MUST HAVE REALLY TRUSTWORTHY NEIGHBOURS.
ARTHUR: WHAT WAS--?
Panel 4. Greg gets inside the panel, and Arthur is hugging him. His name is Greg, and he seems to be as old as Arthur. He hugs his friend back, but doesn’t seem to want to do so. Not because he isn’t into hugs, but because he has something to say. We get that look on his face that tells us that he wants to break the hug, but doesn’t want to be the one that does. Arthur is just happy. Greg is very handsome, with blonde hair, blue eyes. Looks kinda like Brad Pitt, compared to Arthur.
ARTHUR: GREG!
GREG (small lettering): AH. THERE YOU GO. THAT’S NICE.
ARTHUR: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Panel 5. Arthur breaks the hug, but his hands remain in Greg’s shoulders, as he talks to him, examining his face. Greg only half-smiles, uncomfortable.
GREG: I WAS, YOU KNOW, “IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD”.
ARTHUR: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WEREN’T YOU, LIKE, MINING IN PERU, OR SOMETHING?
GREG: IT ISN’T THAT FAR AWAY, MAN.
ARTHUR: LOOK AT YOU.
Panel 6. An over the shoulder shot of Greg, looking at Arthur whose returning to the wine bottle and the glass.
GREG: LOOK AT YOU. BIG FANCY HOUSE. ALL NICE AND SPOTLESS. YOU GOT YOURSELF A MAID OR SOMETHING?
ARTHUR: NAH. IT WAS BERTHA, BELIEVE IT OR NOT. WE HAD A MOUSE PROBLEM, THE OTHER DAY.
ARTHUR: SHE STARTED GOING ON ABOUT HOW THE BABY COULDN’T LIVE IN THOSE CONDITIONS AND ALL. STARTED CLEANING LIKE CRAZY.
Panel 7. Angle on Arthur, as he takes another glass from wherever he keeps the glasses in. Greg is behind him, with his arms crossed, thoughtful.
ARTHUR: YOU WANT WINE?
GREG: IF YOU--
ARTHUR: YOU GOT IT, BUDDY.
ARTHUR: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? ME. WITH A KID? IT’S CRAZY.
PAGE THREE (9 panels)
Panel 1. Greg is still uneasy. He’s got something to say, and Arthur is starting to notice.
GREG: NO, I DON’T.
ARTHUR: WHAT?
GREG: BELIEVE IT, I MEAN. I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
ARTHUR: OH.
Panel 2. Angle on Greg as he looks around the room.
ARTHUR: SO.
ARTHUR: C’MON, SEAT DOWN AND--
GREG: YEAH, THERE’S NO CHAIRS--
ARTHUR: --OR STAND, IT’S COOL, JUST…. TELL ME ‘BOUT YOUR TRIP, MAN. HOW DID EVERYTHING GO?
Panel 3. Angle on Arthur from the waist up as he fills up a glass.
GREG: IT WAS… FINE. I--
ARTHUR: HOW FINE--? GOOD FINE, OR BAD FINE?
Panel 4. Greg confesses.
GREG: I SLEPT WITH HER. THAT’S WHY I TRAVELLED.
Panel 5. Same as panel 3, only the glass is filled up some more. Arthur is a bit confused, and Greg is behind him, apologizing.
ARTHUR: WHAT WAS THAT?
GREG: I SLEPT WITH HER.
ARTHUR: WITH HER WHO? THAT INTEREN YOU USED TO ALWAYS GO ON ABOUT AND---
GREG: WITH BERTHA. I SLEPT WITH BERTHA.
Panel 6. Same as the previous panel, only nobody’s talking. Greg is waiting for Arthur to say something , and Arthur has a blank expression on his face. The wine is overflowing the glass.
Panel 7. Greg, as he dodges the flying wine bottle.
ARTHUR (O.P.): SON OF A BITCH!
GREG: ARTHUR, CALM DOWN! LET ME--! LET ME EXPLAIN, MAN!
ARTHUR (O.P.): WHAT FUCK IS THERE TO EXPLAIN?!
Panel 8. Greg is walking towards Arthur, who is off-panel. Trying to calm him down.
GREG: YOU WERE AWAY. SHE WAS FEELING ALONE. WE JUST… WE JUST FOUND EACH OTHER, MAN— WE NEVER REALLY…
GREG: IT JUST HAPPENED.
Panel 9. Greg finally reaches Arthur, and puts his arm on his shoulder. Arthur just looks away, furious.
GREG: I MEAN, YOU WERE NEVER AROUND… AND SHE… WE TALKED. AND—AND I DON’T REGRET IT. I’M SORRY. I KNOW THAT’S TERRIBLE, BUT… BUT I JUST DON’T REGRET IT.
GREG: AND, ARTHUR, I DON’T THINK SHE DOES EITHER.
ARTHUR (in small lettering): YOU LEFT NINE MONTHS AGO.
GREG: WHAT?
PAGE FOUR (7 panels)
Panel 1. Arthur punching Greg, as hard as he can manage. He gets him right in the side of the jaw. Looks painful.
ARTHUR: YOU LEFT NINE MONTHS AGO!
Panel 2. Clumsily, Arthur grabs Greg by the neck of his t-shirt, pulling him towards the kitchen wall, violent. Greg looks like he is still trying to get his bearings. He wasn’t expecting this from Arthur, who is his friend. Arthur is just plain angry.
ARTHUR: YOU SAID YOU LEFT BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID-
ARTHUR: --AND WHAT YOU DID WAS FUCK HER--
ARTHUR: --AND THAT WAS NINE MONTHS AGO!
Panel 3. A close-up to the friends, as Arthur presses Greg against the white wall, their faces close to each other. Greg is bleeding, and looks sad.
ARTHUR: MY WIFE IS GIVING BIRTH RIGHT NOW.
GREG: I LOVE HER.
ARTHUR: I MARRIED HER.
Panel 4. Greg is pulled away from the wall, and tossed to the ground.
Panel 5. Greg tries to stand up from the ground, in pain. Arthur walks towards him.
GREG: YOU NEED TO THINK… YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT WHAT’S BEST FOR… FOR HER… DON’T YOU WANT HER TO BE HAPPY…?
ARTHUR: GO TO HELL.
GREG: THINK ABOUT WHAT’S BEST FOR THE BABY--
Panel 6. Arthur kicks him, hard, while he is down.
ARTHUR: DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT THAT BABY AS IF IT WERE YOURS! DON’T YOU DARE!
PAGE FIVE (7 panels)
Panel 1. Arthur is reaching down, to make Greg stand back up again.
ARTHUR: C’MON—! C’MON, GREG, STAND THE FUCK UP.
GREG: AH, DAMN--
Panel 2. Greg manages to grab Arthur, and pull him to the floor, all while screaming like a madman.
GREG: AHHH!
Panel 3. Greg gets on top of Arthur, and gets his hands around his neck.
GREG: STOP THIS, ARTHUR! YOU’RE— WE LOVE EACH OTHER, OK?
GREG: AND YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT IT?
Panel 4. We go to Arthur’s face. His face is red and teary. He is heartbroken and dying.
GREG (O.P.): WE LOVE EACH OTHER! YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY! YOU SHOULD BE VERY HAPPY FOR US!
Panel 5. Greg, crying, screaming, killing. He can’t stop himself.
GREG: YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER! YOU HEAR? I LOVE HER…!
Panel 6. He sobs. He just killed his best friend.
GREG (small lettering): I LOVE HER.
MIDWIFE STELLA (O.P.): MISTER--!
PAGE SIX(1 panel)
Panel 1. Greg on top of Arthur, his hands still in his neck. Around him, the whiteness of the kitchen has been stained with some blood, and the red wine. Framed by the kitchen entrance is the Midwife, carrying the newborn baby in her hands. She looks as if she’s gonna drop it.
MIDWIFE STELLA: IT’S A… BOY…
MIDWIFE STELLA: OH, MY.
CAPTION:
Many more may you have,
Many more may you have,
Many more happy birthdays,
Many more may you have. |
_________________
All you little girls, settin' out that line,
I can make love to you, woman, in five seconds time.
Ain't that a man? |
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Rascalover
When push comes to shove
Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 15
Joined: 01 Jul 2008
Posts: 308
Reviews: 18
Country: Nowheresville
300 Points
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 4:30 am Post subject: Re: Mid-Wife. |
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| Icaruss wrote: |
| We get a really red face. And it looks like she’s in pain too. And screaming. So we get a close-up of a woman, who’s screaming, and whose face is very, very red. She’s also sweating profusely. She has blonde hair, which is beginning to darken because of the amount of sweat that’s coming from her forehead. She’s also grinding her teeth. In simple terms, she looks very, very angry. They way we see it, she could either be being tortured, or something along the sort. Actually, she’s giving birth. She’s in her tub, filled with hot water, and is in the middle of labour, and has a towel wrapped around her body since it’s the middle of winter. A mid-wife, which we can’t see, is sitting besides her, talking her through the process. We’ll get to her later. Right now, we stick with the woman. Her name is Bertha. |
Amazing imagery! wonderful job on emphazing the painful situation of childbirth.
| Icaruss wrote: |
| She is looking downwards, towards Stella, |
I think you meant to put Bertha instead of Stella.
| Icaruss wrote: |
Same as the first. Bertha screaming, furious and sweaty. The Arthur’s hand has left panel. |
I dont think you need the 'the' in the above passage.
Overall i loved your piece of work, and if you're an artist pictures would go along good with it. Even though it's outstanding even with out the pictures because of how you describ everything! |
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www.freewebs.com/rascalover <----- Check it out!
I wanna roll down Main Street, the back roads,
like you did when you were a kid, what made you who you are
Tell me what your story is |
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