Topic ID: 24534
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Squishy
Writer
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Joined: 16 May 2008
Posts: 69
Reviews: 21
987 Points
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 Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 3:11 am Post subject: |
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It's really hard for people to write in the style Meyers does because it is strictly unique. You captured Bella's depression perfectly, although it's hard to get into it without context.
Since I've read the book, I had my fill of the depressed-Bella description, so it was predictable, but again, you were dabbling in the field of inserts.
Try writing it into your own story? Mix it up alittle? |
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LilyReagan
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Country: Back in Australia! Hoorah!
223 Points
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 8:07 pm Post subject: WOOT! WOOT! |
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Alright! I felt like this was a great exemplar of what Bella would have felt had Steph written a detailed description of the moment in the forest! I especially liked this part
"Well, now she knows she was wrong. And she feels like she should have known all along. After all, he's the equivalent of a god, and what is she? A mere mortal. A foolish, stupid, ugly human girl.""
SOO relevant to the Twi Series!
YAY YOU!!!!! Great writing (although it'd be fantastique in 1st person!) |
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DC622
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300 Points
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm actually an Alice fanGUY. |
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Embroswyn15
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395 Points
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 12:35 pm Post subject: |
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| i liked it alot though i think it was, as others have said, a little predictable. But it was a well-written piece, nevertheless. good job. |
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ambercoultis
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27 Points
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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Okay first:
equivalent of a god,
God
Make that g big!
Well as short as it is I do finally feel more sympathy for her. It almost seamed as though there was no hope at all. 
I liked this one. You interpret her feelings well. |
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little miss military brat
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Country: usa
249 Points
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| Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 4:27 am Post subject: |
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I liked it. I almost started to cry. (I'm super emotional like that.) I really liked Edward up until he left Bella, and he has yet to redeem himself in my eyes.
I'm so on Team Jacob. |
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kls night
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128 Points
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| Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| I am such a fan of The Twilight series and it was really cool that you wote about it. I especialy like the way you never used Bella and Edward's names. Very cool! |
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