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This thread was created on May 16, 2008
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Topic ID: 30296
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shelley
New Member
Gender: 
Age: 13
Joined: 16 May 2008
Posts: 2
Reviews: 0
300 Points
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 Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:57 pm Post subject: Emo love <3 |
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As i lay on this bed i feel a cold presence
A ghostly spirit a dead silence
I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness.
The pain runs through my veins
So sad no one understands my distress
Tears run down my cheeks as i dream of him
Why can't he love me the way i love him.
He makes me smile makes me laugh
Can't think of anything i would do to hurt him
All these kids saying emo freak emo freak
When i think of him nothing else matters.
Why do people decisive other peoples style
There are Chavez emo's Goths punk's so much more
Why can't i live to be what i want to be
Without people shouting names and hurtful comments. |
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XxXSerenityStillXxX
Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 452
Reviews: 16
Country: 30 seconds away from mars :P UK
502 Points
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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omg that is so good  I have felt this way before. |
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Aet Lindling
Hai?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 100
Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 706
Reviews: 135
Country: Cool, an extra Custom Title!
540 Points
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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Whooooooa. First of all, shelley, didn't you read the rules? You need to review two things before you post something. So, go do that now. Also, XxXSerenityStillXxX, you've done 2 reviews and posted 4 things. By the 2:1 ratio rule, you need to go critique 6 things now. Don't worry, it gets easier as you go along. I have about an 11:1 ratio at this point. 
I'll crit this when you've critted. |
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"His skin literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare."
'Nuff said, amirite? |
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ambercoultis
at her home away from home
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 1949
Reviews: 105
Country: Misery of the USA(Missouri)
383 Points
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:21 pm Post subject: Re: Emo love <3 |
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{ reright a little}As [/i]I lay on this bed I feel a cold presence
A ghostly spirit,
A dead silence
I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness.
The pain runs through my veins
So sad no one understands my distress
Tears run down my cheeks as [i]I dream of him
Why can't he love me the way I love him.
He makes me smile,
Makes me laugh
Can't think of anything I would do to hurt him
All these kids saying 'Emo freak. Emo freak.'
When I think of him nothing else matters.
Why do people *decisive*(you sure that's what you ment ot put?) other peoples style
There are Chavez emo's Goths punk's so much more
Why can't I live to be what I want to be
Without people shouting names and hurtful comments
Pritty good other than htat.  |
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| This thread was created on May 16, 2008 |
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