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This thread was created on April 21, 2008
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Topic ID: 29180
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KJ
Novelist
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 Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:32 pm Post subject: Needles and Roses - Chap. 3 |
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| Don't hold back. Tell me what you think. Again, I know the punctuation needs work. But if you find grammar or any thing else, please point it out. I would really appreciate it. |
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Write like your life depends on it. |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly)
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:38 pm Post subject: |
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Done!
~JFW1415 |
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Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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kitty15
Your friendly neighbourhood kitten
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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| As before, I will pm the main file and suggestions to you. Overall, this is good, your plot is still advancing well and your characters are increasingly well defined. Take care to be accurate with your historical detail but in general, there is little to fault. Good work. |
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Love is but a lie to tame the heart,
To trap and chain; ensnare the soul.
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Of life. In truth, love has no role. |
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Esmé
consider rephrasing
Master of the Forum
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 10:09 am Post subject: |
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Okay, here is Esme and her edits. But, the point of this is me telling you that you have an awesome story, and that I really enjoy reading your installments.
If you have any questions concerning these, feel free to PM me. |
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"I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. But I know that secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and take my shoe."
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| This thread was created on April 21, 2008 |
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