Topic ID: 30257
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Kairii
Novice
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 7
Reviews: 2
300 Points
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 Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject: Myaku (Pulse) |
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Raindrops kiss the top of her head
You wish you were dead
You know this should end
Because this is where you screwed up again
You've lost her again
You'll never win
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
The sun goes down on her fragile dreams
Her starry eyes blur
Her gentle heart breaks
Look at what you've done once again
You kill her inside
She's losing her mind
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
Just one more time
Just one more night
I'll give you a song
If you give me a line
Pause and replay
Heartbeats delay
Restart and resign
Just one more time
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
Stop with the lying
And I'll stop my crying
You know I was right
And now we're both dying
Yet as the day slowly unfurls to an end
I've never felt so alive
As I did right then
Just one more time
Just one more night
I'll give you a song
If you give me a line |
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Angel of Death
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 04 Nov 2007
Posts: 315
Reviews: 171
Country: Behind the Sea
1461 Points
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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I loved this Kairii, what genre of music would you put this under. I could see soft rock or pop. Well anyways, I love the message that you were sending. Great song.
Keep writing,
Angel |
_________________
You're the angel that is listening. Your soul a hallow gold bleeding silver splendors from your crimson lips.
I kiss your wings and hope you're mine to stay upon the rooftop of my dreams. And here you are, the angel that is listening-Me |
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Kairii
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 7
Reviews: 2
300 Points
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| I would probably classify it under "emo" rock. Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it! |
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Shine
Do I've a crush or an orange crush?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 944
Reviews: 352
Country: India
383 Points
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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Kairii this was really good!I mean there is so much emotion and feeling into it seriously.No doubt its under "emo rock".The message in it is perfect.The only crit is that in the chorus part was not so interesting as the single parts. And even though you are writing a lyric you I think still should use the punctuations.
Good luck!
Keep posting!
~Shine~ |
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"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh. |
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panic at the rodeo
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 49
Reviews: 10
300 Points
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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Ayu! I love this song!! It's such a sorrowful sweet song! Sometime you must sing it to me! ( ) I think emo rock is a good genre for it... OR ASIAN POP!!! [I'm absolutely in love with Asian pop right now!]
As for reviewing it... I like the chorus! It is soft and light! I know how you'd sing it so I know that it fits and it def. fits your personality! (your emo personality) I like your soft side! Way different than the Ayu I sit with at lunch!!! |
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JUMP IN MUD PUDDLES!!! |
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phantom_blackfire_wings
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 140
Reviews: 28
Country: Physicaly: somewhere under the rainbow Menataly: somewhere WAY above the rainbow
215 Points
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| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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Good job, Kairii.
Defenitly emo rock. I like the way it flows and the wording really well. You can tell what the song is portraying.
I really like this and can imagine you, my evil master, playing it.
Toodles.
Risa |
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Me~(about calomine) so why don't you marry it!
Erica~Maybe I will-except that's illigal in the US so I'm gonna have to move to Canada.
Me~If i have a Monster, I'll probably start WWIII by saying something stupid to a foregin country. |
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Phantomofthebasket
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 20 May 2008
Posts: 6
Reviews: 3
Country: US of A
300 Points
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| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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YAY!
Good job, Kairii! I appluade this... err... genius piece of music! Now all you need to figure out is the actual MUSIC, right?
=P
ANYHOO... VERY GOOD, as always! |
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