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Perra
Why so serious?
Speaker of the Forum
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Country: Arkansas, USA
412 Points
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 Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 2:55 am Post subject: The Critique Hut |
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Will Review:
Most Fiction - especially fantasy and historical fiction.
Non Fiction
Scripts/Plays
Questionable:
Poetry - I tend to avoid it, but will attempt a review if one is requested. I'll inform you if I can't figure out a critique.
Fan-fiction - Depends on whether I've read or seen what the fanfic is based on. If I haven't, I may still attempt a critique.
Romance - I'm not one for a straight-up romance. Go ahead and ask for a review, though, and I'll try to give you a good critique. However, if it gets too lovey-dovey for my tastes, I may start glazing and miss some things. And if it has sex in it, chances are I'm skipping over that part.  No offense, romance can just make me twitch.
Art - Reviewing art is a bit different from reviewing fiction. I'll try to point out lines or shading (if it was drawn), but, if I can't find anything to comment on, I'll tell you so.
My Critiques:
I'm good at finding technical errors (commas, syntax, grammar, etc.) It can take me over an hour for one review because I'll lull over each individual sentence. But this doesn't mean I ignore the overall story. If something doesn't make sense or doesn't work, I'll point it out. If I think a character or focus needs work, I'll say so. If there's not enough flow, I'll try to find what needs to be done.
If you want me to look at something specific in your work, just ask. It'll help me focus the review.
Examples of my Reviews:
Ashleylee's Michaelangelo's Night: Chapter One (Great example of what you get when you tell me what you need help with.)
Suzanne's Bits and Pieces: Agatha
In Return:
All I want in return is your thanks. As long as I can help, I'm happy. 
So, will you feed me?
If yes, please post below or pm me!
In Progress:
Rei's The Human Side of Things Part One
Next Up!:
(to be completed in no particular order)
Rei's The Human Side of Things
Myles Wong's Myrth
Icaruss' The Edge of A Straight Razor, or something shorter
JFW's Suicide Kills Us All
JFW's "Out of Focus"
Finished:
JFW's "Repercussions": Part One
LoveableLittleSock's Tiffany Ariel - Part One
BBB's "Your True Name"
JFW's "Repercussions": Part Two |
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Last edited by Perra on Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:15 am; edited 11 times in total |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly)
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| Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 7:11 pm Post subject: |
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*Nods* I like your critiques!
It's called Repercussions.
Part One
Part Two
I have a bad habbit at starting many sentences with a proper noun or a pronoun, and I need help avoiding those. I am getting better, but it's still there.
Also, many people have said Matthew doesn't seem realistic. I get what they mean, but I'm not sure how to work it in without making him completely different...
Also, I wasn't sure about the time on Justin's, or the beginning of Sarah's.
Haha, I'm insecure. Nah, I just don't think those are the best areas, and I see your critiques are amazing when you know what to look for.
Of course, overall/nit-picky comments will be very appreciated! These are just for you to keep an eye out for, if you can.
Thanks ten million! 
~JFW1415
Edit: PM me if you'd like a critique. Apparently I give pretty good ones, and I love giving them, getting my stars higher.
Edit 2: Don't bother too much with grammar/spelling. I can catch it myself, and don't want to waste your time. Plus, I think people have already caught everything. If not, I'll catch it when I reread it after I haven't stared at it for hours in a row.  |
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Perra
Why so serious?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 720
Reviews: 87
Country: Arkansas, USA
412 Points
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| Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 9:45 pm Post subject: |
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Sweetness! A customer!
I'm already halfway through the Part One, but if it takes me more than two or three days to finish both of them, I'll pm you on my progress and why it's taking more than a few days.
As for ignoring grammar/spelling mistakes, I'll try, but if I see something that I don't think is an obvious error, I'll tell you. I just can't reign in the grammar side of my inner editor very well. XD |
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LoveableLittleSock
Somebody who has an irrevocable hate for commas
Novelist
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| Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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Oooh! I want a review! Its called "Tiffany Ariel" and its a Mary-Sue Parody. It totally sucks right now, so you're in luck! It is about this girl living in her annoyingly perfect world, where one day that perfect world shatters into a million pieces. I only have part one up, so here it is:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29870.html
The grammar *may* be awful, probably will be. Its unedited, because I felt like writing a parody between classes. And I want to improve it so...
So could you rip this short story apart piece by piece until there isn't anything left but my protaganist crying her eyes out?
Thanks!! And PM me if you want me to critique your stuff, too. I'm not the greatest, but I try. |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly)
Speaker of the Forum
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4949 Points
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| Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Perra wrote: |
Sweetness! A customer!
I'm already halfway through the Part One, but if it takes me more than two or three days to finish both of them, I'll pm you on my progress and why it's taking more than a few days.
As for ignoring grammar/spelling mistakes, I'll try, but if I see something that I don't think is an obvious error, I'll tell you. I just can't reign in the grammar side of my inner editor very well. XD |
Thanks! I look forward to it - for some reason I don't feel like I received as many critiques as usual. O.o
If you find grammar/spelling mistakes, you may point them out, but don't read it ten times to find them. Besides, I doubt there will be any - Jabbs has read it.
~JFW1415 |
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BigBadBear
Writing: The Only Legal Way to Commit Murder
Master of the Forum
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| Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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Hey! I would love a critique on my new musical Your Coat of Arms.
I have the first song posted if you could take a look at it. Just click here.
Thankies!
-Jared |
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-House of Leaves |
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Perra
Why so serious?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 720
Reviews: 87
Country: Arkansas, USA
412 Points
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| Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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Awesomeness! Business just boomed!
To keep track of what I'm working on, I've added an In Progress and Next Up section to the original post. Because JFW's is in two parts, she essentially asked for two reviews, so I'll be doing LoveableLittleSock and BBB before JFW's second review.
LoveableLittleSock - I'll give it my best, most violent stab! 
BBB - Because your's is a song and therefore related to poetry, I can't promise anything profound, but I'll try to give it the most amazing review I can! The fact that it's a musical, meaning there's a story involved, totally helps. ;D |
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Perra
Why so serious?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 720
Reviews: 87
Country: Arkansas, USA
412 Points
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| Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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All requested critiques have been finished!
Anyone else? |
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Rei
E.A. Extraordinaire
Epic Novelist
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, someone else! Me! Here's the latest entries for The Human Side of Things:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic30070.html
In each one, I will have the link to the previous set of entries. |
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Myles Wong
Junior Writer
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Country: Wales
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter one: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28870.html
Chapter two: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29024.html
Chapter three: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29678.html
I think I'm fairly safe with my punctuation, technical errors and stuff (prove me wrong at all costs), although the chapters narrated by Sothna have the occasional tense change at the moment - it's just the way I imagine him to speak in the "interview" situation, and I have a feeling I'll have that changed). The change of character for Zeezor between chapters one and three is deliberate because of the different viewpoints. For all other stuff feel free to tear it apart.
Have fun! |
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Icaruss
Novelist
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Country: En el culo del mundo: Perú.
1649 Points
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:04 am Post subject: |
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Hello. I have a pretty big story if you want to review it. It's called The Edge of a Straight Razor, and it's about 14000 words long. I'd understand if you don't, I mean, it's big but it would mean everything for me if you do. It's a police procedural.
If you don't feel like reviewing something that big, I have some pretty recent shorter entries. |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly)
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:28 am Post subject: |
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Because you're so amazing?
Suicide Kills Us All.
Thanks!
~JFW1415 |
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly)
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 962
Reviews: 288
Country: USA
4949 Points
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| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:21 am Post subject: |
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*Poke*
Out of Focus
It's short, in contrast to my last piece.
But before you do so... apply to be an instructor! Please? You're an amazing critiquer, which is why I flood this thread.
Thanks so much!
~JFW1415 |
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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Perra
Why so serious?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Posts: 720
Reviews: 87
Country: Arkansas, USA
412 Points
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| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:23 am Post subject: |
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Dear lordy, I have a lot to do now. Sorry that it's taking so long for me to get to you guys, but I've been out of the country for two weeks and had to get ready for that trip. I promise to get these done as soon as I can! Because a good number are lengthy, the shorter works will probably get done first.
JFW - I totally would if I could get myself to review at a consistent pace. XD |
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