Topic ID: 23638
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Acoustic Sensitivity
Senior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 20
Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 150
Reviews: 96
Country: Sydney, NSW
300 Points
|
 Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:58 am Post subject: The Road to Home |
 |
|
The Road to Home
I am walking down this lonely road
Striving to find the way
My way back home
Tell me where to head?
Tell me where to go?
When the only lights are the moon and the stars
And the only sounds are the passing cars
Tell me where to look?
Tell me where to go?
Because I lost...
My way back home
Though I'm sure it's this way
Because I lost...
My path of hope
Though I'm sure I'll find it in here
Because I'm lost...
If the only path is this path north
And the only lane that leads to home
Tell me where to walk?
Tell me where to go?
When the only guide are this street signs
And the only words that tells where to go
Tell me how to know?
Tell me where to go?
Because I lost...
My way back home
Though I'm sure it's this way
Because I lost...
My path of hope
Though I'm sure I'll find it in here
Because I'm lost...
Because I'm lost...
But I'll be sure to find my way back home
The way back home
The way back
In you... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Dr. Jamie Bondage
Perfectionist
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 17
Joined: 08 Nov 2007
Posts: 2294
Reviews: 63
302 Points
|
| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 9:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I like this. it ends sort of suddenly, and it is just a little bit repetitive. I liked it though. Keep up the good work!
Jamie |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Eva 040
Junior Writer
Age: 15
Joined: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 47
Reviews: 26
398 Points
|
| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
This song has lots of emotion in, its great =]
Like Dr Jamie. Bondage said, you could of took either added some extra verses or lengthened your original ones, because at the moment it theres quite a it of chorus bulk, but still, its very good.
The idea is great, i've never beenable to put an dea into context like that in a song, i aways end up kind of dancing around the point, so i find this really good =]
Great Work, Eva XxXxX |
_________________
XxXxX |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sofiel
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 13 Jun 2008
Posts: 19
Reviews: 12
Country: the one where we dream of driving a zamboni across Saskatchewan
531 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:35 am Post subject: Re: The Road to Home |
|
|
First off, this is amazing!
The first line reminded me of Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday, but I forgot that once I read the rest. It seems really well rehearsed, if writing can seem that way. What I mean is, it's written to a beat and sticks to it throughout the song. I was reading through some other people's lyrics, and it jumped from one beat to another. Very confusing. I think I only noticed one tiny problem spot.
| Acoustic Sensitivity wrote: |
If the only path is this path north
And the only lane that leads to home
Tell me where to walk?
Tell me where to go?
When the only guide are this street signs
And the only words that tells where to go
Tell me how to know?
Tell me where to go? |
I don't know if you meant to repeat 'where to go' but it caught my attention. Maybe when you are singing it, it isn't as noticable, but perhaps it would be possible to find another set of words to express the same thing. I have no clue, as I am completely hopeless at writing lyrics.
I really want to hear the tune to this now, if there is one.  |
_________________
Toby: "Of COURSE I wrote a concession. What - you want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high a top the thing?"
Sam: "...No"
Toby: "Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What the hell is the matter with you?!" |
|
| Back to top |
|
blacktiger3915
It's the eye of the tiger!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 675
Reviews: 262
Country: Atlanta,GA USA
2024 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I really want to hear the beat and tune to this too. I liked this song. Like the othes stated, it was a little too repeative. I don't think you had to do that to get your point across. I love the strong emotions in the piece. Very good. Keep it up. Best wishes! Peace  |
_________________
Don't send sheep to kill a wolf. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
