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Demeter
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 Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 9:20 am Post subject: An ode to sarcasm |
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I'd like to have reviews, even and especially you didn't like it. 
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About three years ago, when I was twelve, I told my friend (who was 15 then) that she was a very sarcastic and cynical person. Not the most tactful thing to say, and I'm still not sure if I actually knew what I had just slipped.
She began to laugh. "Did you hear what she said?" she said, not really to anyone. Alright, I guess it's kind of funny when some brat starts to hopping around with stuff like that. But actually she seemed to be rather pleased. I almost heard her sigh "fantastic".
Then, about half a year ago, one of my classmates asked me: "Why are you always being so sarcastic?" She only wanted to know that out of curiosity, and I wasn't sure what to answer. I felt rather flattered, but I couldn't help thinking: Does it show? Am I always like that? Does it annoy the others? (Just to give you a few things that anyone thoroughly sarcastic shouldn't even write down.)
People associate sarcastic people with an aggressive attitude and hatred towards the world. And the thought of being better than others. And with supposed-to-be-funny comments, crashing both other people's dreams and their self-esteem.
But you can also defend yourself with sarcasm. That's what I've learnt to do every time someone tries to come and offend me. It's not necessary to repeat my wisecracks, but just between you and me, I'm still pretty proud of them. Even if I don't always manage to say anything that I could boast about later, I've actually started to long for opportunities to get to have a hold over the offender with a few mere words. The little pleasures of life...
People don't just learn to be sarcastic. You've got to be born to it. But on the other hand, I don't feel like I've always been like this. What do you know? Our little friend S has been living inside of me from the very beginning, knowing that someday it would be allowed to come out and truly rise and shine.
But still I feel a little stupid when I have to say one of my favourite words in the world (in addition to "Disney" and "whatsoever") out loud to someone else. Sssss... there it comes. Ssss... arcasm. Sarcasm. There. Good. |
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Last edited by Demeter on Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:53 am; edited 4 times in total |
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GryphonFledgling
As the world falls down...
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:19 pm Post subject: Re: An ode to sarcasm |
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Hey, welcome to YWS!
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| I told once (three years ago?) to my friend (who's a couple of years older than me) that she was a very sarcastic and cynical person. |
This sentence is kind of awkward and I really don't think the parenthesis are necessary. Perhaps you could rework and reword it so that it flows a bit better, something along the lines of:
Three years ago, I told my older friend that she was a very sarcastic and cynical person.
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| It wasn't even half a year ago, when one of classmates asked me: "Why are you always being so sarcastic?" |
Again, a little awkward with your sense of time.
"Then, half a year ago, one of my classmates asked me: "Why..."
It just flows a bit better.
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| (Things that anyone really sarcastic shouldn't even write down.) |
I was confused as to where this fits in with its paragraph. Is it a degradation of your own form of sarcasm? If so, I would take it out of the parenthesis and expand on it a little bit more.
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| But you can also defend yourself with sarcasm. That's what I've learnt to do every time someone tries to come and offend me. |
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| Even if I don't always manage to say anything that I could boast about later, |
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| People born, not learn, to be sarcastic. And on the other hand, they learn, not born. |
Very awkward again here. Something more like: "Some people are born to be, not learn learn to be, sarcastic. And on the other hand, some learn, not are born to it."
In any case, I liked this piece. It seemed kind of like a bit of rambling thought. It would have been nice to have a few examples of sarcasm in your piece, however. Really the only one was at the end, with the "ssssssarcasm" gag. With a title like you have, I was expecting far more of the topic of discussion being used. I'm pitifully sarcastic myself, but I know a few sarcastic people and in a way, I wish I could be like them. They seem so sure of themselves, and I've seen sarcasm used in ways other than to beat people down. I'd love to see what your piece could dish up.
Welcome once more to YWS! I hope to see you around more!
~GryphonFledgling |
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Eimear
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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I love rambeling! Not- if you're so inclined- around the countryside in shorts and walking boots...yikes- no, this type of rambeling! A thought! A spark- almost an arguement with oneself before falling asleep, only to wake up mildly annoyed and to take it out on one's mother. Hehe.
Back to the task in hand, Eimear. Nice job on this sarcasm piece. I guess it's a fact that most tragic teenagers take it as a compliment.
Few points, although I won't exhaust them seeing as GryphonFledgling has already covered them.
1. The sentence structure is very awkward. Revise it. Take a look at other people's work who have done similar topics to you and learn from them. Heck, just keep reading and reading and reading and pretty soon writing fluidly will be no different.
2. I've said this before, why not make it longer? Expand? This isn't really a negative crit because this piece really interested me and can you blame me for wanting some more?
Anyways, nice job.
It was really bad.
Hehe. Sarcasm is a gift.
Eimear |
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XxxDo
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 2:04 pm Post subject: - |
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That was pretty funny 
Sarcasm rules !
The other repliers have basically covered all real critisism, so there's nothing for me to do except say that I like it ! 
XxxDo |
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LolitaRose
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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| And with supposed-to-be-funny comments, crashing both other people's dreams and their self-esteem. |
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| But you can also defend yourself with sarcasm. |
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| And the thought of being better than others. |
This might be just me, but I was always taught never to begin sentences with 'and' and 'but.' Other than that, it's good! |
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Kalliope
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:31 am Post subject: |
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Hey there, Demeter!
Here's the crit I promised [I'm not all that good with non-fiction, though.]
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| Not the most tactless thing to say, and I'm still not sure if I actually knew what I had just slipped. |
I'm a little confused with this. Do you mean not tactless [= tactful] or not tactful [=tactless]?
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| Alright, I guess it's kind of funny when some brat starts to hopping around with stuff like that. |
You use quite a fair share of thats throughout this piece. Maybe try to eliminate some of them and use more sepecific words?
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She only wanted know that out of curiosity, and I didn't know what to answer. |
In this part for example you can just ditch that.
Try not to repeat words so close to eachother. Ways to change this would be:
She was just curious, ... or She just wanted to know out of curiosity, and I had no idea what to answer.
I wonder if maybe but would fit better than and in this sentence. In my ears it sounds somewhat better.
Okay, those were the nitpicks
I thought this was cute actually. A little rambly towards the end, but then I really love your last paragraph. Maybe you could use some more irony and sarcasm throughout your piece. That would make it really fun.
Happy Writing!
~Kalliope |
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Gahks
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:46 am Post subject: |
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This really has potential!
I really liked the way you started off with some wry anecdotes but I found the argument in defence of sarcasm a bit thin on the ground. Your conclusion also seemed rushed. Try to flesh out your main points some more so your audience can really enjoy your witticisms and other wonderful moments.
Like I said, this really has potential. Just put some more effort into it, be more sarcastic (sarcastic about sarcasm, geddit?) and just get your teeth into the subject. It's a great topic: make the most of it!
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Jellybee
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 4:13 am Post subject: |
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Your text reminds me so many people in my entourage ^^. I'm not a sarcasm person, or ironic- I'm just a thinker,lol- but I just laugh when they say something that is so true, and even if it's against me, I just applaud 'cause it's true and well say- weird sense of humor, I know.
I like the way you're saying all the things and even if some sentences are a little awkward, it stays in the style of the text- so it's not a so big thing I think.
I want to read more about you! |
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Thriving Fire
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| Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm... I could do the whole literary critic thing and analyse your expression, the flow of the piece, all that jazz, but I'm not in the mood. I'm gonna annoy you in a whole different way instead
You said people are born sarcastic. Well they're not. Both sarcasm and cynicism (although those two words are completely different, another thing I'm not in the mood to go into) stem from something that we've gone through, or seen (or heard, or whatever) before that makes us be that way. We experience something, and our brain goes 'wait! I've seen that before and I don't like it!', so it decides to be sarcastic and snide.
Example: You see someone showing off and say something sarcastic. This is because you've seen that before, but only now you're brain has had time to decide how to react.
In this way, sarcasm is made, and not born.*
*Apologies if this entire post is sprawling, worthless and/or irrelevant. Abuse it at will |
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nilou-and-amani
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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This was really confusing! Don't get me wrong, i like confusing! I love reading random self contradictory pives of writing, and that's exactly what this is!
Subtle sarcasm is good, but i hate it when people overdo it.
You could have made it longer, evaluated more on your point, but it's great. |
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Hope Night
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:06 am Post subject: |
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| Nice! I have a friend who is very sarcastic! It's slightly awkward in some places but still very funny and true about sarcasm and its uses. |
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salsashanno
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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| it was nice, but it sounded more like a blog post. the end was especially confusing, you have to be born into it, but you haven't always been sarcastic? are you trying to say that you're not a truly sarcastic person? OR are you trying to be sarcastic? im just a little bit confuzzled. |
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strawberry saliva
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:11 pm Post subject: |
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That was nice.
i also have an extremely sarcastic friend.
i mean he actually speaks sarcasm as a second language.
all in all i think it was a great piece. |
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