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The Locket by Grace
The Locket by Grace

by BenedictionofGrace in Historical Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on May 8, 2008
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Mist. Mysterious. Mystical. (Chapter 1)

Mist. Mysterious. Mystical. [ignore this.]
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rubberduck   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:44 am    Post subject: Mist. Mysterious. Mystical. [ignore this.] Reply with quote

Cale trudged through the marsh's muddy waters. This was where most of the wild boars gathered to have a drink. It was misty. Cale was reminded of his dream earlier that morning. His eyes darted around, trying to spot a woman crying.

The marsh had always been misty, but not as misty as it was today. Ironically, Cale was the only hunter in the marsh that day. Everyone else was probably getting ready for the feast to celebrate the Elder's birthday. The wild boar would be a late edition to the feast then, Cale thought to himself.

He stepped onto dry land and looked at the state of his pants. He could already imagine Tendra's face when she saw him in the state he was in. He walked towards the end of the marsh. Cale stopped short in his tracks. He could've sworn that he'd heard a grunt.

He spun around and faced a large wild boar. It was at the edge, drinking the water. In this country, there weren't many water sources around. Most were surrounded by the village. Elves left water at the edge of the village in a holes that the villagers themselves had dug to serve as watering holes. Lately though, the animals seemed to prefer the water in the marsh.

Cale thought it was stupid. Why drink muddy water when they had the choice of drinking the water that the elves left out for them? It was then that Cale realized that the marsh was actually quite a tranquil place. He had never stopped to relish its beauty before. Perhaps the animals liked this place better than the edge of the village? To Cale, the answer was obvious. He'd choose the marsh. A physical environment suited animals better, after all.

He stealthily creeped over to the boar. He planned to slit its throat so it could die immediately. His lucky sword had been sharpened just the day before so there was no need to worry about it not going through the whole way. Cale unsheathed his sword. The animal's ears pricked up. "Oh damn."

The animal spotted Cale. It bolted the moment it spotted the sword. "Bloody hell..." Cale chased after the panicking boar. The boar had reached the end of the marsh and was breathing heavily. The boar saw Cale approaching it. It spun around and ran off, through the trees. Cale followed it and ran through the trees.

What greeted him when he went through the trees was unexpected. He was in a forest. "I don't remember there being a forest here..." he muttered. He remembered that the Elder had told the village not to go beyond the marsh. It was the human's world beyond the marsh. "Oh, damn." He had crossed over to the human world.

Cale panicked. How was he supposed to get back?!


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Last edited by rubberduck on Thu May 08, 2008 11:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 9:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's good and all, but then... There isn't much to critique on, it's too short x_x

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 11:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Erm...
I can't seem to be able to delete this and so... pretend this is deleted.
Chapter 1 has Chapter shoved inside. Smile

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Rubber Duck!

You can't delete your own stories, and we prefer not delete whole threads because then people loose review points. If you want, you can hit the "edit" button and remove all of your text. Since you seem to not want this to be reviewed anymore, I'll just lock it! If you would like it unlocked or have any questions, feel free to pm me and I will answer them. Very Happy

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