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Young Writers Society


The Critique Hut



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87 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1090
Reviews: 87
Wed May 07, 2008 2:55 am
Perra says...



Will Review:
Most Fiction - especially fantasy and historical fiction.
Non Fiction
Scripts/Plays

Questionable:
Poetry - I tend to avoid it, but will attempt a review if one is requested. I'll inform you if I can't figure out a critique.
Fan-fiction - Depends on whether I've read or seen what the fanfic is based on. If I haven't, I may still attempt a critique.
Romance - I'm not one for a straight-up romance. Go ahead and ask for a review, though, and I'll try to give you a good critique. However, if it gets too lovey-dovey for my tastes, I may start glazing and miss some things. And if it has sex in it, chances are I'm skipping over that part. ;) No offense, romance can just make me twitch.
Art - Reviewing art is a bit different from reviewing fiction. I'll try to point out lines or shading (if it was drawn), but, if I can't find anything to comment on, I'll tell you so.

My Critiques:
I'm good at finding technical errors (commas, syntax, grammar, etc.) It can take me over an hour for one review because I'll lull over each individual sentence. But this doesn't mean I ignore the overall story. If something doesn't make sense or doesn't work, I'll point it out. If I think a character or focus needs work, I'll say so. If there's not enough flow, I'll try to find what needs to be done.

If you want me to look at something specific in your work, just ask. It'll help me focus the review.

Examples of my Reviews:
Ashleylee's Michaelangelo's Night: Chapter One (Great example of what you get when you tell me what you need help with.)
Suzanne's Bits and Pieces: Agatha

In Return:
All I want in return is your thanks. As long as I can help, I'm happy. :)


So, will you feed me?
If yes, please post below or pm me!



In Progress:
Rei's The Human Side of Things Part One

Next Up!:
(to be completed in no particular order)
Rei's The Human Side of Things Part Two
Myles Wong's Myrth
Icaruss' The Edge of A Straight Razor, or something shorter
JFW's Suicide Kills Us All
JFW's "Out of Focus"
Curly's "Dazed and Amazed"

Finished:
JFW's "Repercussions": Part One
LoveableLittleSock's Tiffany Ariel - Part One
BBB's "Your True Name"
JFW's "Repercussions": Part Two
Last edited by Perra on Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:50 pm, edited 13 times in total.
YWS gives me carpal tunnel.

Need a Critique?

Evil lurks everywhere, often in plain sight...Can you lurk in plain sight? Or is that just walking?





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438 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2999
Reviews: 438
Wed May 07, 2008 7:11 pm
JFW1415 says...



*Nods* I like your critiques!

It's called Repercussions.

Part One
Part Two

I have a bad habbit at starting many sentences with a proper noun or a pronoun, and I need help avoiding those. I am getting better, but it's still there.

Also, many people have said Matthew doesn't seem realistic. I get what they mean, but I'm not sure how to work it in without making him completely different...

Also, I wasn't sure about the time on Justin's, or the beginning of Sarah's.

Haha, I'm insecure. :wink: Nah, I just don't think those are the best areas, and I see your critiques are amazing when you know what to look for.

Of course, overall/nit-picky comments will be very appreciated! These are just for you to keep an eye out for, if you can. :wink:

Thanks ten million! :lol:

~JFW1415

Edit: PM me if you'd like a critique. Apparently I give pretty good ones, and I love giving them, getting my stars higher. :wink:

Edit 2: Don't bother too much with grammar/spelling. I can catch it myself, and don't want to waste your time. :wink: Plus, I think people have already caught everything. If not, I'll catch it when I reread it after I haven't stared at it for hours in a row. :roll:





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87 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1090
Reviews: 87
Wed May 07, 2008 9:45 pm
Perra says...



:D
Sweetness! A customer!

I'm already halfway through the Part One, but if it takes me more than two or three days to finish both of them, I'll pm you on my progress and why it's taking more than a few days.

As for ignoring grammar/spelling mistakes, I'll try, but if I see something that I don't think is an obvious error, I'll tell you. I just can't reign in the grammar side of my inner editor very well. XD
YWS gives me carpal tunnel.

Need a Critique?

Evil lurks everywhere, often in plain sight...Can you lurk in plain sight? Or is that just walking?





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183 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2168
Reviews: 183
Wed May 07, 2008 9:54 pm
LoveableLittleSock says...



Oooh! I want a review! Its called "Tiffany Ariel" and its a Mary-Sue Parody. It totally sucks right now, so you're in luck! It is about this girl living in her annoyingly perfect world, where one day that perfect world shatters into a million pieces. I only have part one up, so here it is:

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29870.html

The grammar *may* be awful, probably will be. Its unedited, because I felt like writing a parody between classes. And I want to improve it so...

So could you rip this short story apart piece by piece until there isn't anything left but my protaganist crying her eyes out?

Thanks!! And PM me if you want me to critique your stuff, too. I'm not the greatest, but I try.
Got YWS?





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438 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2999
Reviews: 438
Wed May 07, 2008 10:05 pm
JFW1415 says...



Perra wrote::D
Sweetness! A customer!

I'm already halfway through the Part One, but if it takes me more than two or three days to finish both of them, I'll pm you on my progress and why it's taking more than a few days.

As for ignoring grammar/spelling mistakes, I'll try, but if I see something that I don't think is an obvious error, I'll tell you. I just can't reign in the grammar side of my inner editor very well. XD


Thanks! I look forward to it - for some reason I don't feel like I received as many critiques as usual. O.o

If you find grammar/spelling mistakes, you may point them out, but don't read it ten times to find them. Besides, I doubt there will be any - Jabbs has read it. :wink:

~JFW1415





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713 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 7740
Reviews: 713
Wed May 07, 2008 10:25 pm
BigBadBear says...



Hey! I would love a critique on my new musical Your Coat of Arms.

I have the first song posted if you could take a look at it. Just click here.

Thankies!

-Jared
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.





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87 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1090
Reviews: 87
Wed May 07, 2008 10:39 pm
Perra says...



Awesomeness! Business just boomed!

To keep track of what I'm working on, I've added an In Progress and Next Up section to the original post. Because JFW's is in two parts, she essentially asked for two reviews, so I'll be doing LoveableLittleSock and BBB before JFW's second review.

LoveableLittleSock - I'll give it my best[s], most violent[/s] stab! :twisted:

BBB - Because your's is a song and therefore related to poetry, I can't promise anything profound, but I'll try to give it the most amazing review I can! The fact that it's a musical, meaning there's a story involved, totally helps. ;D
YWS gives me carpal tunnel.

Need a Critique?

Evil lurks everywhere, often in plain sight...Can you lurk in plain sight? Or is that just walking?





User avatar
87 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1090
Reviews: 87
Sat May 10, 2008 10:35 pm
Perra says...



All requested critiques have been finished!

Anyone else?
YWS gives me carpal tunnel.

Need a Critique?

Evil lurks everywhere, often in plain sight...Can you lurk in plain sight? Or is that just walking?





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685 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 685
Sun May 11, 2008 5:41 pm
Rei says...



Yes, someone else! Me! Here's the latest entries for The Human Side of Things:

topic30070.html

In each one, I will have the link to the previous set of entries.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"





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7 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 7
Sun May 11, 2008 6:40 pm
Myles Wong says...



Chapter one: topic28870.html
Chapter two: topic29024.html
Chapter three: topic29678.html

I think I'm fairly safe with my punctuation, technical errors and stuff (prove me wrong at all costs), although the chapters narrated by Sothna have the occasional tense change at the moment - it's just the way I imagine him to speak in the "interview" situation, and I have a feeling I'll have that changed). The change of character for Zeezor between chapters one and three is deliberate because of the different viewpoints. For all other stuff feel free to tear it apart.
Have fun!
But enough about me, what do YOU think about me?





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115 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 115
Thu May 15, 2008 1:04 am
Icaruss says...



Hello. I have a pretty big story if you want to review it. It's called The Edge of a Straight Razor, and it's about 14000 words long. I'd understand if you don't, I mean, it's big but it would mean everything for me if you do. It's a police procedural.

If you don't feel like reviewing something that big, I have some pretty recent shorter entries.
there are many problems in our times
but none of them are mine





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438 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2999
Reviews: 438
Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:28 am
JFW1415 says...



Because you're so amazing?

Suicide Kills Us All.

Thanks!

~JFW1415





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438 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2999
Reviews: 438
Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:21 am
JFW1415 says...



*Poke*

Out of Focus

It's short, in contrast to my last piece.

But before you do so... apply to be an instructor! Please? You're an amazing critiquer, which is why I flood this thread. :)

Thanks so much!

~JFW1415





User avatar
87 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1090
Reviews: 87
Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:23 am
Perra says...



Dear lordy, I have a lot to do now. Sorry that it's taking so long for me to get to you guys, but I've been out of the country for two weeks and had to get ready for that trip. I promise to get these done as soon as I can! Because a good number are lengthy, the shorter works will probably get done first.

JFW - I totally would if I could get myself to review at a consistent pace. XD
YWS gives me carpal tunnel.

Need a Critique?

Evil lurks everywhere, often in plain sight...Can you lurk in plain sight? Or is that just walking?





User avatar
29 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 29
Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:39 pm
Curlyqpride says...



"Dazed at Amazment" It's alittle dull and needs work, but is simple and I would love to have your feedback! Thank you! :D

It is a romance, but it is eigth graders and is real and not all that fake "omg are you going to ask him out" kind of stuff, it actually includes alittle humor and just a bunch of awkward teenagers you can just find to laugh at. I hope you still enjoy it, and find yourself to relate to atleast one character.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!-CuRlY :)
Hello! I go by Curly!

I only give positive reviews because I don't like to give critism for some strange reason. :) If you would like a little sunshine in your story, please PM me!








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