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by Alainna in Other Fiction
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This thread was created on May 1, 2008
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The Question of the Century...

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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:31 pm    Post subject: The Question of the Century... Reply with quote

Pepsi and Coke are popular soft drinks. What’s the difference? Both have good points and bad points. However, I consider Pepsi to be a better

all-around drink.

Both are dark, caffeinated beverages. They are non-alcoholic and marketed to adolescents as well as adults. They are sold nationwide by major companies.

Admittedly, Pepsi and Coke are very similar. Despite these similarities, it is the differences that are most important. Pepsi has a very smooth taste. Coke has a slimy texture, to some extent, and burns the back of the throat. It has an enduring aftertaste that is somewhat unpleasant. Pepsi is best cold. Coke, on the other hand, tastes the same whether it is warm or chilled.

Clearly, Pepsi and Coke are as different as they are alike. It is a good thing that these differences exist so that people with different likes and dislikes can enjoy a tasty drink. Because of the differences, ice cold Pepsi suits me just fine.


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JFW1415   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 1:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First, this is rather...short. It's hard to critique, especially since it's non-fiction.

However, I shall try! Laughing (I did promise I would, so...)

Quote:
Despite these similarities, it is the differences that are most important.


This sentence was a bit awkward.

Quote:
Because of the differences, ice cold Pepsi suits me just fine.


It doens't make too much sense. How do they differences make Pepsi suit you?

-----

Overall, it's pretty good. Just remember that this is all perception. Some people love Coke, and some love Pepsi. If this is something you're looking to expand, I'd say do more research. Find interesting facts: is one better for the enviroment? Does one donate part of its profits to charity? Also, try interviewing people with different tastes than you.

Personally, I hate all soda, so I have no opinion. Nice un-biased reader right here! Wink

Also, what's this for? Fun? School? If we knew, we could help you a bit more. If you told us and I just ignored you, feel free to ignore me. Laughing

PM me with any questions. Also, feel free to bug me for a crit when you post something else. I'm better at fiction. Wink

~JFW1415

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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 4:04 pm    Post subject: Re: The Question of the Century... Reply with quote

I think you did a pretty good job of explaining to the reader why you prefer Pepsi to Coke. However, the piece was a bit too short, and you could have added more reasons why you prefer Pepsi and not Coke.

You focused more on the taste of the two products. Perhaps that was the only deciding factor when it came to making your choice. Maybe there were other factors as well. Other aspects which you could have looked at were the history and development of Coke and Pepsi, the design and appearance of the cans, social responsibilities and charity organizations which the companies support, environmental/health impacts as well as various celebrities who've promoted either Pepsi or Coke. Maybe none of the abovementioned aspects influenced your decision i choosing PEPSI over Coke, however it gives the reader additional information, and makes it much more stimulating and interesting to read.

I've added some changes to your work.

Quote:
Pepsi and Coke are popular soft drinks


It sounds better if you started off like this:

Both Pepsi and Coke are popular softdrinks.
Both are dark, caffeinated beverages. They are non-alcoholic and marketed to adolescents as well as adults. They are sold nationally and abroad by major companies.

Admittedly, Pepsi and Coke are very similar. Despite these similarities, it is the differences that are most important. And now you might be scratching your head wondering "what's the difference?"? Both have good points and bad points. However, I consider Pepsi to be a better all-around drink.

Pepsi has a very smooth taste. Coke has a slimy texture, to some extent, and burns the back of the throat. It has an enduring aftertaste that is somewhat unpleasant. Pepsi is best cold. Coke, on the other hand, tastes the same whether it is warm or chilled.

Clearly, Pepsi and Coke are as different as they are alike. It is a good thing that these differences exist so that people with different likes and dislikes can enjoy a tasty drink. Because of the differences, ice cold Pepsi suits me just fine

Once again well done and keep on writing ^_^
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