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Short poem: Door to heaven
Short poem: Door to heaven

by Lord Anzius in Narrative Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index -> The Lounge » Will Review For Food

This thread was created on March 14, 2008
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Critiques, Anyone? Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
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Firearris   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi ^_^ I don't like part 1 as much as 2, but you need 1 to understand 2. It was a contest entry Razz


part 1: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic25786.html

Part 2: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic25787.html


There!
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christy   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

    It would be greatly appreciated if you would look at this for me. I really like your review style. I'll definitely make some time to look at some of you work.
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JFW1415   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow; I went from nothing to review to 19 pieces plus anything of gryfs, all in one day! Woot! ;P

Feel free to post anything else. I will get to it, and I want more... ;P

Also, this will take me awhile. I take 1/2 hour to one hour per review, unless I just feel it needs a quick overall comment. Be patient, but do expect something soon.

~JFW1415

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cmarie159   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:43 pm    Post subject: review Reply with quote

I would love it if you reviewed "And Its Quite Lovely". When you get time =] thanks.
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OverEasy   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello!


Got another one for you, it's a really short prologue, but here's the link. (Don't worry dear it's not a poem *giggle*)

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29591.html


Please and Thank You!

OverEasy

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Alainna   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there Jen.

I was just wondering if you could check this out :

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29530.html

Sorry about the length!

Thanks so much!

Alainna
xxx

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OverEasy   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First chapter dearie

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29760.html

Be as harsh as possible. I want this one to turn out good. I might try to get it published. Lol


Please and Thank You

OverEasy

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Myles Wong   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter one: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28870.html
Chapter two: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29024.html
Chapter three: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29678.html

I notice your "chapter 23" rule but chapter two has completely different characters and setting from chapter one and three and It'd be helpful if you could look at 3 after 1. I'm looking to hear about
* Tense changes: I try to only use this in Sothna's chapters - it's in an "interview" sort of format and I imagine him as the persona who would change the way he's talking half way through - but I'm worried I may be doing it too much.
* Grammar and spelling: I think I'm all right at avoiding these mistakes. Prove me wrong at all costs.
* Flow: Slightly worried about this - What sort of flow are you supposed to have in an interview?
* Anything else thatt's wrong with the story: Please point out anything that's wrong so I can a) change it, b) point out why it's there.
Take a look when you have time, thanks muchly.

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JFW1415   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 9:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Myles Wong wrote:
I notice your "chapter 23" rule but chapter two has completely different characters and setting from chapter one and three and It'd be helpful if you could look at 3 after 1.


That just means don't tell me to start in the middle of the story. I'm perfectly happy to start at chapter one and follow you 'til the end, as long as you poke me often with reminders. Wink

I'll get to this soon. My list looks to be clearing up, just some long stuff in Advanced Critiques. I'll let you all know when I've finally caught up. I kind of got ahead of myself and had nearly 40 items - possibly more - waiting. I had links in word documents, NotePad documents, on here, in PMs...it was getting ridiculous. But it was just April Vacation week, and I did a ton!

I have reached my goal of four stars. My new one is five stars (about 25 more reviews) by June 6, when I'll have been a member for a year. I wasn't active for the better part of the year, so maybe I'll get five red by the end of my second, since I plan to be on as much as I have been lately?

~JFW1415

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Join the CIA.

In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you?
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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Caelestis: Keeper's Throne is a fantasy fiction story/novel I'm working on. It's actually a sequel to my Child of Ashes: Outcast story I was writing, but I decided to work on the sequel as a way to get more background information and ideas for the first story. I only have one chapter up of this story, but I may (or may not, depends) have another chapter up soon. This story doesn't have any reviews yet (at least as of this post), so anything you can give would be appreciated.

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Caelestis: Keeper's Throne (Chapter One: Reluctant Leader)
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Conrad Rice   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 11:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, its me. Thankfully, its something new this time. Two somethings in fact. Dandelion Season in the Other Fiction forum and All This But Mere Perceptions in the Science Fiction forum. If you need a review look me up. I owe you about a million. Smile

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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey guys!

It seems I'm falling pretty behind in my critiquing, as well as my writing. I've been struggling to catch up, but I never can.

So, I'm not accepting requests at the moment. I'll catch up with this and my writing, and then open this once more.

Anyone waiting for a critique, poke me until I remember. Wink And expect quite a wait...but I will get to it! And hopefully it will help.

Maybe this is good? You're supposed to put something away for a while before editing, so this will encourage you to do so.

Eh, I'm just trying to find the silver lining. Rolling Eyes

Sorry!

~JFW1415

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Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde

Join the CIA.

In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you?
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JFW1415   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm reopened! Now as an Instructor!

Send in those requests!

~JFW1415

_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde

Join the CIA.

In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you?
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic31235.html

That should be the story.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hullo love! Either because I love you, or because you are pestering me [your take!] I'm here to request things.

They have many comments, but I would still appreciate all of your thoughts.

God Still Loves You
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Thank you, darling. You're wonderful.

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What am I reading?
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This thread was created on March 14, 2008
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This thread was created on March 14, 2008

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