Chapter 12:

“Hey, Grif?”

“Yeah?”

“You ever wonder why we’re here?” Simmons asked.

“…No, I never, ever wonder why we’re here.”

Grif, Simmons and Lopez were on the base’s roof keeping a look out for enemy troops. “Hgrgrgr.” Simmons and Grif turned to see Lopez acting weird.

“What’s wrong with Lopez?” Simmons asked.

“I don’t care…” Grif said.

Simmons ignored him. “Hey Lopez, uh, you okay, man?”

Lopez’s voice had changed, but he still spoke Spanish. “Guys, I need to give… you a… warning… What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don’t know Spanish!”

“Uh… sure…” Simmons said, not understanding a word Lopez was saying.

“No, listen to me! It’s me, D! The mean woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank!”

“Hey, Boss. You almost finished with the tank?” Axel asked.

“Yes, and if you don’t want to be blown to pieces I suggest you get away from me.”

Axel started walking backwards. He took his boss’ words very seriously. “Okaaay, I’ll just let you get back to work.”

Meanwhile, Caboose was just finishing with D’s grave. Serge was there watching him. “So, yer tell’n me D is gonna give you a quarter if you finish diggin’ this grave?” he asked.

“Yes! He is a very nice ghost,” Caboose said.

“You do realize that ghost can’t carry money, right?” Serge asked.

“That’s silly,” Caboose said. “Why would D want to lie to me?”

“Riiiight.”

Caboose finished scooping out the last mound of dirt with his hands before he said, “There, I am finished! I’ll radio D and tell him!” There was a click inside Caboose’s helmet as he turned on the radio. “Calling D, come in D. This is your close personal friend, Private O’Malley.”

“O’Malley?” Serge asked, “I thought yer name was Caboose.”

“It is, I just like this name better.” He went back to radioing D. “Come in Private D, do you copy? I finished making the grave, did I win the game yet?”

A Spanish speaking voice replied, “Caboose, the enemies almost have the tank fixed! No one here is listening to me! I can only speak Spanish for some reason!”

Caboose stood there for a few moments, not saying a word, until finally he turned to Serge and said, “D wants to talk to you.”

“Thank you for activating the N808V Main Battle Tank.” Tex had just finished fixing the tank. Now that it was online she got into the driver’s seat and started moving the tank toward the enemy base.

“Un tanke, graaaaaaaaande!” D was still trying to make the others understand what he was saying, but he still wasn’t making any progress.

“Hey,” Grif said, “I think if you’re going to live in this country you should speak the language.”

In the distance there was a voice that said, “Target locked.” But it was too quiet for them to hear.

“What country?” Simmons asked. “We’re on an alien planet!”

“Firing main cannon.”

“What are you, a communist?” Grif asked. Before Simmons could answer the was a gigantic explosion that shook the entire base.

Grif: “SON OF A B*TCH!”

Simmons: “SON OF A B*TCH!”

D: “MADRE DE DIOS!” (Translation: “SON OF A B*TCH!”)

Serge’s voice came through Simmons’ radio. “Simmons, what’s goin’ on out there?”

“Sir, the enemy has fixed the tank!” Simmons said, having to raise his voice to be heard over the constant explosions.

“Affirmative, I’m comin’ aroun’ on the warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by.”

“Roger that!” Simmons and Grif had moved to the cement ramp to better shield themselves from the blasts.

“I’ll, uh… I’ll stay here,” Grif said.

“Yeah, stay here and guard this cement ramp,” Simmons said. “It’s vital for our success.” Serge came by with the warthog at that moment. Simmons climbed in as soon as it did. “Alright, I’m on board!”

“Alright!” Serge said as he drove toward the enemy tank. “Here’s the plan!” At that exact moment the tank shot the ground beside the warthog, throwing it through the air and tossing Serge and Simmons out of their seats.

A few moments later Serge and Simmons were back on the cement ramp with Grif. “Wow, back so soon?” Grif asked. “You guys win the war already?”

Simmons turned to Serge and asked, “Yeah, uh… did you want to finish telling me the plan now, Serge?”

“If we survive this, I’m gonna kill both of ya, slowly.”

Grif kneeled so he could whisper into Simmons’ ear. “Uh, Simmons? By the way, the ramp is secure.”

Caboose came onto the base’s roof via the other cement ramp. “Hey, what are you guys doing up here. Did you start playing another game without me?”

“Caboose, get down!” Grif said. “That chick in the black armour is back!”

“What chick?” Caboose asked. “The mean one that stuck the grenade to my head?”

“That’s the one,” Simmons said.

Caboose’s voice suddenly sounded a little more mean. “Oh, I’ve been waiting for this!” He came up to the edge of the roof beside where D was hiding behind a stoone barricade. “Hey, mean lady! Remember me? I’ve saved something for you!” He pulled a blue grenade and threw it as far as he could. The battle seemed to stop as everyone, even the enemies, watched as the small purple plasma grenade soared through the air.

Axel and Hank were hiding behind the same rock, making sure they were a safe distance from both their enemies and their boss. “Man,” Hank said, “That dude in the blue armour has a really good arm!”

The grenade stuck to the tank’s driver canopy, just above Tex’s head. She had just enough time to say, “Ah, crap!”

“Hell ya!” Caboose yelled, “Three points you dirty whore!”

“Where did Caboose get such a dirty mouth?” Simmons asked.

Serge turned to Grif and said, “Grif, how many times have I told you not to swear in front of the kid?”

The tank exploded, taking Tex with it. Her body flew a few yards away, landing beside Axel and Hank. They both went to her side.

“Uh… you don’t look too good, Boss,” Hank said.

“Axel, is that you?” Tex asked.

“I’m right here,” Axel said, pushing Hank out of the way.

“It’s gone.”

“What’s gone?” he asked.

“The A.I., it’s gone…” She let out one final gasp before her body went limp.

Axel and Hank stared at their dead boss for a few moments. “Well,” Axel said, “We’re f*cked.”

“Caboose!” Grif, Simmons and Serge came up from the cement ramp to congratulate the blue armoured soldier. “That was one hell of a throw,” Serge said.

“I told you, my name isn’t Caboose,” he said. His voice suddenly became deep and evil sounding. “My name is O’Malley…”