Topic ID: 26934
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 17
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 939
Reviews: 207
Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy.
347 Points
|
 Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject: Diary of a Villain : Progress Journal |
 |
|
| Quote: |
Apparently, the man who said ‘you are what you choose to be’ was a liar. A really horrible liar who took joy in making innocent little children believe that they could choose their own destiny and be whoever they wanted to be. If he’s still alive, someone should help him realize the error of his ways. It will start like this: “Sir, since you can choose your destiny, why don’t you decide you’re going to live while my knife and I decide you’re going to die, and see whose will is stronger.”
These were my thoughts as I watched the blood trickle down my arm and drip unto the packed earth floor of the barn. Realizing how immoral my thoughts had become, I cried in frustration.
“Why is it so hard to be good?” I wailed. It was my first day and already I was back to thinking dark and corrupt things. |
----DoaV prologue: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic26581.html
Diary of a Villain was born on YWS, much unlike the other stories I have posted on this site. The desire was an old one: I wanted to write a story where the protagonist was one of the bad guys. The title was the root from which the ideas grew. The image was one of a burning village, in the center of which stood a young women in black armor. Out of the flames loomed a large, black, red eyed form.
I've posted things on YWS before and not gotten the best reaction, so I wrote up a small bit of DoaV and posted it, just to see what people would think. The reactions I got were nothing short of spectacular, lots of people liked it, which gave me the will power to keep going with the idea, even when newer ones drifted through my mind.
My chronic RaMiBS (Restart and Make it Better Syndrome), along with some stellar critiques (*huggles her readers*) drove me to rethink my world concept for DoaV, which is how I ended up with the 'Revamped' version I am working on now (*is also fighting her RaMiBS, which wants her to rework the world concept again* >.<).
And you say: So what's it all about? Get to the plot already!
Synopsis (skipping the prologue) : Ever since her parents died, Yazra has been trying to conform to the moral values of 'normal people', but no matter what she does things seem to go bad. Finally, she gives up, becoming a henchman to a wizard named Bundy. Her job description: Soul-stealing, village raiding, wizard helping, death dealing villain. Oh, and she grows flowers. Though not ambitious, Yazra's hope is to avoid a villain's death at the hands of the three Masters the king has summoned to put an end to the massacres across his kingdom.
=P Very bad synopsis. It's a little dark, a little funny, and a lot of fun to write.
^_^ Keek!
p.s. This is actually DoaV's second progress journal, but since the revamping it feels right that it should get a new one (plus if I'd had it moved, it wouldn't have been an accurate reflection of the story right now). Old PJ: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic25829.html |
_________________
Here's a free coupon! Good for:
1) A new friend
2) A free review
3) Advice on problems and general YWS assistance
^_^ PM me anytime to use!
Last edited by Sleeping Valor on Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:10 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 939
Reviews: 207
Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy.
347 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:19 pm Post subject: The Update Post (mostly for Keek & people who want updat |
|
|
The Update Post
Update Lists : People who want a PM when DoaV is updated. ^_^
Currently Posted: All currently posted parts of DoaV, including small blurbs about each. (Original = ORG, Revised = RVS, Revamped = RVP)
Update Plans: General plans for future updates.
The Update List
chocoholic
MidnightVampire
Heatherish
SirWozzel
JabberHut
Wolf
Bigbadbear
Gwenevire
GryphonFledgling
KJ
The Revision Update List
Aedomir
chocoholic
JabberHut
GryphonFledgling
Wolf
*^*^*^*^*^
Currently Posted - Revamped (RVP)
Trial of a Villain (DoaV Revamped) : Prologue Part 1
I was toying with making DoaV's new title Trial of a Villain, but I honestly don't like it. As for plot, the new prologue is done in a new voice, and has a new plot. In short, Yazra's souls and that of her sweetheart (I don't tell who!! XD) have gone to be judged. The only problem is that the two are very opposite; Yazra's coated in her sins while her lover shines with self-sacrifice. Esten ends up forced to call a trial, and Yazra's story comes to light. For old readers, have no fear, the voice and style you love returns in Chapter One.
Currently posted - Originals (ORG)
Diary of a Villain: Pilot Section
This was my way of testing the waters. I typed up a small bit of the story (no plot, just went strait from the concept idea) and got such great reactions I decided it was worth putting on YWS. It's not necissary to read it since the original bit was made part of the prologue. Though there is also in the thread Yazra's dream (an idea I am trying to work into the story) and the original (yet horrible) version of chapter 2.
Diary of a Villain: Prologue
The awesomeness! It even has a little bomb beside it for being popular! Woot. ^_^ It's long enough to be a chapter. Here we meet Yazra, who is struggling with the fact she seems destined to be bad no matter how hard she tries to be good.
Diary of a Villain: Chapter One
^_^ A bit choppy and down for revision, it's set 7 months after the prologue. Yazra is working as a henchman for a wizard with plans to take over the continent.
Diary of a Villain: Chapter Two
IN this chapter we meet the antagonists. The chapter is unfinished due to the fact I realized I needed a map to figure out dates. =P
Currently posted - Revised (RVS) (Revisions on hold. Will be done along with revamping)
DoaV: Revised Prologue Part 1
The first part of the prologue revised. Detail has been added, the journal in pants has been removed as well as the scene with Toby. I don't know how much of an improvement it is, but I like it. I might end up changing it soon, there are strong calls for the analogy on the birds and the bees due to it being super long and less effective than the one with the rabbits and the wolves.
DoaV: Revised Prologue Part 2
Fear me. I have made Bear a boar, just to see how it works. (aka: used replace and mass replaced bear with boar =P)
*^*^*^*^
Update Plan for Originals
I'm a little held up due to needing to do some research, but with each passing day I feel I can get away with not doing it. Updates may happen sooner than you think! I have decided to try skipping the antagonist chapters and replacing them with a second journal done by Sillon which will be put in-between Yazra chapters. I like that idea because then people can opt not to read the journal entries, and not miss anything because they're simply just skipping the antags. I'll get on that soon and see what people think.
Edit: This sort of all flows into the revamped version now. =P
Update Plan for Revamped
After thinking through the whole 'heaven vs hell' thing, I am strongly tempted to redo the prologue with a new world concept. Luckily, I'd probably die of frustration with myself if I did, so I will resist the temptation and move forward with the plot. I've hit a snag, which leaves a huge hole in my prologue, but I may just ignore it and skip right to chapter one. For old readers, chapter one is the original prologue. I don't know how many changes I'll be making... if there aren't many, I'll make sure you know not to bust your brains commenting. =P |
_________________
Here's a free coupon! Good for:
1) A new friend
2) A free review
3) Advice on problems and general YWS assistance
^_^ PM me anytime to use!
Last edited by Sleeping Valor on Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:16 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 939
Reviews: 207
Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy.
347 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Working out the prologue
The original prologue for DoaV was basically a stand alone chapter called 'Last Days of Denial', that showed the pivotal moments that drive Yazra to finally give up on being 'good'.
When I revamped the prologue, DoaV became a story within a story. In the prologue, told from Judge Esten's POV, Yazra's soul has passed on for judgement. Her villainous life have stained her, and she is sentenced to punishment in hell to make up for it. But due to the complication of her soul mate (who is her opposite, sin-wise) refusing to be separated from her, Esten is forced to call a serious trial to see things done right.
Sadly, the whole Heaven & Hell thing bugged me. The terms have their own predetermined stigmas, if you will, and by using them I couldn't get across some of the vision I had for the prologue. This is especially visible when Esten sentences Yazra to hell. It seems cruel, and shocking, but it's really just how things work. Yet since Hell has it's own little 'concept' already in place, we see brimstone and hellfire and eternal torment--which is nothing like what is actually in store for Yazra.
So I had another idea.
This idea is a little sketchy, and since I want to get on with things I won't be posting it anytime soon. In this world concept, there's basically a balance (cliche, I know) of energies. There's positive and negative, but more in the sense of attraction vs repulsion, rather than good vs bad. As souls go through life in a body (in any of the many universes) they collect these energies, which stay with them when they die. Their souls are then picked up by a current, and carried to the 'heart', where they need to neutralize the charges they carry. If they don't, they'll go into their next life with the energies from their last, and because souls have a tendency to collect more of one type of energy than the other, an imbalance will occur. If a dimension has too much one one charge or the other, it will die. Thus, those in the heart (mother dimension) must make sure that there is no imbalance.
I also have a vague idea to replace the trial with an interview, post sentencing. (Someone calls her forward to discuss her case). Something like that.
=P Right now I'm moving on to Chapter One, but I'll be coming back to the prologue someday.
EDIT!!: I don't know what I would do without my readers. =P Some nice reviews are making me realize that the whole Heaven and Hell thing, though stereotyped (ish), are actually quite original the way I go at them. I'd like to change some elements of how the punishment and reward are payed out, but I actually like the 'system' I have in place. A few things might change, but the foundations are going to stay. *hugs readers who saved Keek a major headache* |
_________________
Here's a free coupon! Good for:
1) A new friend
2) A free review
3) Advice on problems and general YWS assistance
^_^ PM me anytime to use! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Kylan
you're so cute when you're slurring your speech.
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 1003
Reviews: 245
Country: USA
741 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
You know, I still have an old half-finished critique for this hidden somewhere on my hard drive. Maybe I'll dig it out and send it your way. Definately sounds like a cool premise.
Good luck!
-Kylan |
_________________
"'At's the shtuff! Give the friggin' world back to the friggin' people!"
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Got YWS? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 939
Reviews: 207
Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy.
347 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
...
 !!!!
Before = Keek has been stupid and redone the prologue so many times she hates DoaV (exagerating) and doesn't want to work on it.
Now = Keek has been doing so much homework she is filled with happyness at the thought of writting!! On top of that having decided to set aside this whole afterlife heaven and hell bit until she can figure it out, she has had a brilliant idea that actually would tie the idea into the story!!
Problems solved:
1) Journal is gone (for now), to be replaced by inner monologues. Which will be justified by the fact Yazra's dad was a bad guy and tended to monologue and she picked it up from him. (at least she didn't pick up the cackling from her mother)
2) Bundy is no longer flat, because he suddenly has a HUGE amazing story attached to him that makes him COOL!!! XD Which I love, since he is a major antagonist/protagonist. *hugs her evil villain*
3) I hate my antagonists, so I will just ignore their existence until they show up in the story. We all love Yazra more anyways. =P
I will restraing myself, do my homework, and then go crazy!!
*happy dances*
DoaV is back on track!
|
_________________
Here's a free coupon! Good for:
1) A new friend
2) A free review
3) Advice on problems and general YWS assistance
^_^ PM me anytime to use! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
