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Young Writers Society Forum Index » Romantic Fiction

This thread was created on April 1, 2008
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Related Items
Possible Related Items Follow:
Keri's love Chapter One Part one
Keri's Love Chapter One Part Two
Keri's love Chapter One Part One (Redone)
Keri's Love Chapter One Part Two (Redone)
Keri's Love Chapter Two Part One
Keri's Love Chapter Two Part Three
Keri's Love Chapter Two Part Four
Keri's Love Chapter Two Part Five
Keri's Love Chapter Three Part One

Keri's Love Chapter Two Part One (Redone)
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TNCowgirl   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:05 pm    Post subject: Keri's Love Chapter Two Part One (Redone) Reply with quote

Ryder slowly looked around his small hotel room. He couldn’t get that girl out of his brain. He didn’t know why he couldn’t shake her face. He smiled and looked into the mirror, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He had fallen for her, and hard. But he had never felt this way towards any girl, especially one he didn’t know all that well. He ran a hand through his hair again. He needed to get to know her. But he only had a few weeks before she was gone. He would have to find out where she was going. But how?

Get close to her, get her to tell you. He smiled at the thought. He was going to find out what about this girl he just couldn’t shake. He didn’t care what anyone else thought, the pack could wait. He father was still alive. He didn’t have to be in charge yet.

“Daydreaming again?” A voice laughed from behind him. He spun around and saw his little sister sitting on the bed behind him.

“How did you find me?” He growled,.

“Well, when Amber showed up without you, dad sent me.” She frowned, “I don’t agree with them Ryder. I don’t think you should have to marry Amber because she is the dominate female. She is a snob.” Ryder smiled.

“Ya, I just want to find someone other then Amber, I don’t like her, not one little bit.” He sighed, “So far all I’ve found is one girl I can’t get out of my head.”

“Well I don’t know if that is the girl that Amber and her goonies are going to go and try to get to leave the school early, but they went after someone in a hurry.” Chrissy said sadly. Ryder growled and ran towards the window, the moon was out, and it was pitch black.

“I’ll be back.” He growled quickly shifting form shaking out of his clothes afterwards. He lept out the window and hit the ground running. He had followed Keri home, so he knew where she lived, but he just hoped he got there before Amber did.

His hopes were smashed when he got to her house and found it empty. Things were thrown everywhere, pictures tossed on the ground, chairs overturned. The house had been thoroughly ransacked. He could smell Amber and her two goonies. He quickly followed the scent out to some woods that were far behind Keri’s house. He had gone a good while before he saw them. He saw Jerry, one of Amber’s goonies, holding down Keri’s Germen Sheppard. Amber and Kenny were circling a shaking Keri. She jumped back as Amber jumped at her heels snapping. Amber laughed and growled deeply. Keri was in a pair of shorts and a tanktop, a robe had been thrown over them, probably when she heard someone in her house. It was torn at the bottom where Amber and Kenny would snap at it chasing her out of her house. There were scratches on her legs and she didn’t have any shoes on. She had run this whole way barefoot with three wolves chasing her.

*~*~*~*

Keri looked at the red wolf in front of her. She wanted to scream so bad, but she knew she couldn’t, that might make the wolves attack and no one would hear her anyways. They had just been circling her for what felt like eternity.

She glanced at Camo, her dog, and whimpered when she saw the third wolf still holding him down. Why aren’t they killing us? The thought made her worried, her eyes went to the black wolf that was following the red one around her. It snarled and she tried to step back, but couldn’t. A new growl came from her right and she glanced towards it. Her heart sank as she saw a fourth wolf. It was huge! It had a foot that was the size of her hand. Its fur was a dusted brown, its ears were darker brown and the fur on his face made it look like there was a mask on its face. Its fur looked soft and fluffy.

It started running towards her and she slammed her eyes shut waiting for the pain that was guaranteed to come. She heard a yelp and opened her eyes. The wolf had jumped on the red one and had it pinned to the ground. The red was whimpering as the big wolf growled at it. The big wolf backed up and the red took off for the woods its tail tucked between its legs. The big one turned to the black whose hair was raised and its teeth exposed. The big jumped on it and tore into its back. She saw the black bite the big’s leg and blood gushed out. The big wolf didn’t seem to notice though. It managed to throw the smaller into a tree sending it running. It turned and growled at the one holding Camo down and it turned taking off. Keri ran to Camo looking for any scratches. He was fine, just scared. She looked at the big wolf who was looking at her holding it’s injured leg up. She looked at its eyes and gasped. They were the same color blue as Ryder’s. She rubbed her eyes and looked again. She had been dreaming at least she thought she had, but they were the same color as his.

She backed up against the tree Camo jumping in front of her and growling.

The wolf just slowly walked towards her it’s head held up high almost looking down at her. Its eye flashed to Camo and a growl came out of its throat. She grabbed Camo around the neck pulling him close to her a whimper escaping her throat. Camo just pressed against her shaking. The wolf layed down looking at her, studying her. It inched forward slowly. She felt the bark from the tree press against her skin, but she was to scared to feel the pain.

*~*~*~*

Ryder slowly moved towards Keri. He didn’t want to scare her, but it was kinda hard not to when he was a wolf. He couldn’t change to his human form and completely scare her off, he wanted to get to know her better, but he had to make sure she was ok. His mind flashed back to what Amber had said when he tackled her, it just wouldn’t leave his mind.

“Why are you trying to hurt her?” He had growled,

“Because, we don’t want anything or anyone to tempt you away from your own kind. Even if there is a hint that they might we’re to keep them away.” She whimpered angrily. “It’s not my problem your dad doesn’t listen to you.” Ryder got off and glared at her.

“Go back to the pack, tell my father to stay out of my business. I won’t marry just because he says, I will only marry who I please. You had no right doing what you did to her and her house. I talked to her for maybe five ten minutes and you take it for more then it was. Now GET!” She turned tail and ran.

“Please, go find something else to eat.” Keri’s whimper reached his ears. He blinked and looked at her. He stood up and walked closer. Her dog growled, but she wouldn’t let it go, it wasn’t about to try and jump him anyways, it was just a puppy and no where close to his size. He sat down next to her, his face a few inches from her’s. Tears were rolling down her face, and her eyes were slammed shut. He backed up and laid back down just looking at her, trying to make himself less dangerous looking. He didn’t want her scared of wolves, he didn’t think anyone should be terrified of them. They should be very cautious, but not terrified. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, fear still showing in her features. He stood his ears up, cocking his head to the side, looking at her. He watched as she slowly edged away pulling Camo with her. “Stay there, please.” She whispered, “Please just stay there.” She stood up and turned on her heel running.

He watched her, if he chased her he would just scare her more. He stood up and ran after her hiding behind shrubbry so she wouldn’t see him. He watched her walk into her house, slam the doors and lock them. He sighed, he couldn’t just leave to have Amber and her goonies come back and hurt her again. He carefully walked inside when he was sure she was asleep and curled up on one of her chairs. Camo was asleep on the bed at her feet, she was tossing and turning keeping him from sleeping. He just laid there watching her. Why had Amber felt this girl such a threat? Ya, he wanted to know more about her, but he hadn’t shown that much interest in her, had he?

*~*~*~*

Keri woke up and a scream flew from her mouth when she saw the wolf laying on her chair. It jumped up startled and looked around. It jumped off the chair and carefully moved towards her. She backed up, everything last night hadn’t been just a dream, it had really happened.

“S-stay back.” She said her hand grabbing a book from her night stand. The wolf lept up on her bed and laid down looking at her with those eyes. It looked at the book then turned and ran out the door. Keri slumped down on the floor her legs shaking. Camo laid his head on her lap looking up at her with his big brown eyes. “I-I think we need to go home.” She whispered looking around. Everythign was a mess, it would take days to fix it and pack up. She could talk to her teachers and finish up faster then planned and then get home and away from these weird animals.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great job! I just noticed a bit of awkward wording, but other than that no biggies. To tell you the truth, when I found out this story was about werewolf type creatures, I half groaned. To be honest, I'm not too great a fan of them. But you've got me hooked.

So I like this story a lot based on the fact; the plot and your whole style is so gripping. Please continue this. I don't know why but this kind of reminds me of the Twilight Series, by Stephenie Meyer.

Now please continue, I'm waiting for the rest to be posted up.

And please get another title. I don't like the title of this story at all. It so unoriginal. Maybe it's a temporary title, I can understand. But I hope you don't mean to keep this title.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trust me it is just temporary, Very Happy any suggestions, I don't know what to name it. I've never read that series, is it good? I'll get more up when I write more and get done wiht school work. Very Happy Thanks sooooo much for posting.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Werewolves! Yay! I love werewolves and this seems to be better than most werewolve stories because it's got that real-life addition to it. I loved the POV switching too.

The only thing I can say is please do a grammar check. I keep seeing the same repeated mistakes (mainly capitalized when it shouldn't be, no commas, etc) that would easily be check.

Is this all that's been posted? If it's not, can you PM me with the links? And when you post something new, please let me know Smile

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woo! Werewolves! I like his seceret.
I like that you chose to use 'goonies' it made me smile everytime I read it.Very Happy
This is coming along great! I can't wait to read more of it.

~Rachael

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This thread was created on April 1, 2008

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