Thanks so much all who critiqued my first chapter! This one's a little shorter, sort of an in between actions chapter to get in touch with the charecter's true thoughts and emotions and stuff. Anyway, enough blather. Enjoy!
Critiquing questions
1. Do I go on too long in my descriptions, 'beat a dead horse,' so to speak?
2. Does it lose your attention when Penelope is doing her little 'soul-searching' thing?
3. Should I follow up on the little hint that maybe Penelope wasn't human, or just drop it and keep the reader wondering?
THANKS!!!
Chapter 2
The streets were crowded with excited people who were wondering if it had been a trick. When someone found the melted blob of the stop sign, panic began to spread through the crowd, and as they discovered more and more evidence of the reality of the dragon, the panic escalated. Penelope and Emma were shoved here and there until they were driven off the sidewalk into the crowded street. Everyone was running around, unsure of what to do, but then as a group they all seemed to know where to go. The neighborhood was swamped with chattering crowds running towards the police station. Penelope lost sight of Emma for a moment in the dense group of people, but they soon found each other and were swept along in the flow.
It took longer than usual to reach the police station, because the further the crowd went, the larger it got. When they all finally reached it, they clamored at the windows and pounded at the door. A policeman climbed up out of the skylight with a microphone, but nobody could hear what he was saying over the noise. Penelope and Emma fought their way forward until they reached the door. Penelope waved up to the policeman on the roof. Spotting her, he waved back and held up one finger. The two women waited for a moment until the door opened a crack and they squeezed through. The door slammed shut behind them and locked.
"Hey, Dwight," Penelope said, nodding.
"Hey, Penelope. You need to see if you can find Erik, we're swamped here," the policeman from the roof said, before disappearing into the crowd.
The police station was no better than outside - crowded with people, all of whom were chattering excitedly about the dragon. Penelope stood on tip-toe and used her superior height to catch the eye of one older police officer. She smiled and held up her envelope, pointing to it.
"Do you see Erik?" Emma asked. Penelope looked down and saw that Emma was near tears. Her hands were shaking and shoulders crumpled. Penelope sighed and patted Emma's shoulders, murmuring words of comfort. Penelope's own nerves were a bit frayed, and she needed to get out of the crowd soon before she broke down too.
"Erik is waving us over," she said, and putting an arm around Emma, she fought her way through the crowd until they reached Erik.
"I take it you ladies have some information pertinent to this strange case," said the officer as he led them through the heavy metal door to the back room. It was blessedly quiet and cool back there, and Emma and Penelope sank gratefully into their chairs. Penelope pulled out an envelope with the pictures and the dragon's note and handed it to Erik. He looked through the pictures, shaking his head in astonishment. Then he read the note and his expression sobered.
"Just a moment," he said, taking the envelope into another room. Soon he returned with the head of the department, a woman with a name tag reading 'Tara.'
"This is very interesting, ladies," Tara said briskly, sitting and crossing her legs. "Dare I ask why we were not contacted sooner?"
"We thought it was just some crazy guy. You don't know how often the newspaper gets wackos calling in about aliens and UFOs," explained Emma. "I'm sorry, if I'd even dreamt it was real I would have called."
"Well, disbelief seems to be common around here," remarked Tara as she shed her piercing gaze over the pictures. "Is this you?" Her dark eyes turned to Penelope and long fingernails pointed to the figure with the dragon.
"Yes ma'am, it is," said Penelope, lounging back into the chair.
"May I ask why you weren't running away as fast as you could at that time?" Tara asked.
"If you're trying to imply that I may have something to do with this, you're sadly mistaken," Penelope said, yawning.
Emma grinned shakily and shrugged apologetically. "Sorry. Penny was born easy-going. She's always happy and laid back no matter what's going on in the crazy world around her."
Tara sighed and rubbed her eyes. "We're still trying to figure out what to do. We can't let the city be burned, but this isn't exactly the Dark Ages. We can't go around finding pretty girls off the street and asking them if they're virgins and if they'd be willing to die for the common good. Besides, we need more time to investigate the dragon. Perhaps if we had a few days we could find its whereabouts, figure out who else is involved. It can't just be a dragon."
Erik stroked his mustache thoughtfully. "We could always find someone out of this department to go, and bug her with cameras and microphones."
"That's an idea," said Tara. "But I still think you'd be hard pressed to find one with the right...qualifications. I can think of only two officers I would deem 'beautiful' and I know for a fact that neither of them are virgins."
Emma shrugged. "I can't help you either."
"Here's the thing," Penelope said, frowning. "The more beautiful the woman, the less likely it is that she'll be a virgin. What I'd really like to know is: why is 'beautiful' specified?"
"What do you mean?" Erik asked. "It's traditional. In all the fairy tales she always has to be beautiful."
"Why don't I go?" Penelope suggested. "I'm a virgin."
Emma choked on a swallow of coke and sat up straight, staring at Penelope. "Don't be crazy, Pen."
"I figure the dragon could probably figure it out if I wasn't a virgin, but wouldn't care less whether or not I was beautiful. Besides, I clean up well." Penelope sat up and straightened her ragged trench coat.
Tara gazed at Penelope thoughtfully. "What makes you so willing to do this?"
Penelope shrugged. "You mean besides the fact that I'd be saving the entire city of Seattle? I figure, there's no real danger. I have a strong hunch that it's a guy behind it all, and the dragon is just a pawn. We have to figure it out somehow, and I can protect myself from a human. I might as well go, as long as I'm guaranteed that as much will be done to save me as possible."
"You can't," Emma protested violently. "I won't let you. Your parents won't let you!"
"Who said they have to know?" Penelope asked, cocking one eyebrow. "I'll tell them I've decided to go on a quick trip to Florida for some more inspiration, and I'll be gone for a few days. Then, after dark, someone can drop me off at the top of the space needle, I'll get picked up by the dragon, spy on whatever is going on for a few days, and then get rescued."
Emma sat back and shook her head as if to clear it. "Penelope, I just had the shock of a lifetime. I barely saw the backside of a dragon, and I know I'm going to have nightmares for a month. As soon as I go home tonight it's going to hit me and I'm going to freak out. I'll probably spend all night pounding on the punching bag with music up really loud."
Penelope raised one eyebrow. "And here I thought you were being mature and calm."
"I'm not done yet," Emma snapped. "I can't believe you looked down the very gullet of the damn thing and you're sitting here saying you want to be all noble and sacrifice yourself for the common good? What about my good? You're my best friend, I can't let you go be killed by a creature that should by all rights exist only in a fantasy movie!"
Tara looked over at Erik and nodded. He sighed and stood, taking Emma by the arm as she leapt to her feet, looking as if she'd do battle with the dragon itself to stop Penelope from going.
"Look, Emma, I think you should go home, get out a tub of ice cream, watch a romantic comedy and sleep it off, okay? We'll protect Penelope in every way possible. This is necessary." He spoke in a deep soothing voice as he drew the tearful, shouting Emma around the corner and out of sight.
Penelope took a deep breath and sniffed. Tara looked at her, concerned. "This is a sudden decision for you, Penelope. You need to be sure you can do it."
Penelope nodded firmly. "Yes, yes I can do it. I need to do it. Better me than anyone else, right? And it's not any more sudden for me than it would be for anyone else you found to go up there. But I need to tell my parents, and get some stuff ready."
"What happened to the Florida plan?" Tara asked, surprised. "They'd worry less if they didn't know."
"It wouldn't be fair if I didn't tell them," Penelope said, sighing. "Imagine how you'd feel if your daughter was found burnt to a crisp in some field, and you hadn't even gotten to say goodbye."
Tara nodded and the two women stood. They shook hands firmly, and their eyes met. Tara shook her head admiringly. "I'm still trying to get over this myself. I don't know what it is about you that allows you to be so calm, brave and accepting, but I want it."
A half-smile twisted Penelope's lips. "I don't fear death, Tara. That's my secret."
"Everyone fears death," Tara protested. "It's part of being human."
Penelope shrugged and turned, making her way slowly out the door. Tara watched the door close and shook her head. What a strange girl. What with a dragon showing up and panic in the streets, Tara didn't even want to think about the possibility that Penelope wasn't a human.
***
Penelope took a deep breath of relief as she got out of the massive crowd that now surrounded the police station. She strode through the neighborhood, trying to collect her thoughts. She had been on the go ever since the dragon had first arrived, and this was the first time she'd been by herself. She watched a leaf fall down - it disconnected itself slowly from the branch above and fell lightly down, wafting from side to side before landing gently on the ground. Penelope picked it up and began walking again, staring at the light brown, dry leaf. This was how she needed to be. Prepare herself, disconnect from this life and accept death in a gentle, calm way.
When she reached the house, she pulled off her coat and left it on a chair by the door. She entered quietly, kicked off her flip-flops and sat down in front of the piano that sat always at the ready in the front living room. She stared at the white and black keys, fearing to place her hands on them lest a sound jar her out of her peaceful, accepting state.
"Hey, Penny."
Penny jumped as Ann's quiet voice cut through her thoughts. She turned around and attempted a smile at her mother. "Hey, mom...have you...do you...I mean..."
"The dragon?" Ann interrupted gently. "Yeah, and believe me, I did my share of freaking out. I knew you'd be right there. Are you all right?"
Penelope stared down at her fingers, which were stiff and white with cold. She rubbed them together slowly. "I think that depends on what you mean. Physically, yes, I'm fine. Mentally and psychologically, I'll never be the same again."
"I called Dad. He and I have agreed that we'll not stop you from going," said Ann, fingering her long braid.
Penelope jerked in surprise, then sighed. "How'd you know?"
"We guessed, dear. It's our fault, partly - that we raised you like we did. Your personality is built in such a way that would make it impossible for you to refuse."
"Yes, but it was my choice to go. I won't have you blaming yourselves."
Ann sat down on the piano bench next to Penelope. "If you go and die, you'll be a martyr, and of course we'll mourn, but you'll be a hero. If you go and live, you'll know you had it in you to be a martyr, and that will change your life forever in an amazing way. I don't see that there's anything to 'blame' ourselves for."
Penelope nodded. "Tell Dad I love him, and if Emma calls, tell her it's all okay. She sort of went berserk earlier."
Ann smiled, ignoring the tear that trickled down her face. "Do you need help packing?"
"No, thanks. I'm traveling light."
"I'll make you some cookies for the road, then," said Ann. She stood and went slowly into the kitchen, tugging at her braid absently before gathering ingredients from the cupboard. Penelope watched her go with a smile, knowing she was only doing it as a distraction, to help herself control her emotions.
Penelope's cell phone rang and she flipped it open. It was an unknown number, but she answered anyway. "Penelope Eros speaking."
"Penelope, this is Tara Brown from the police station." The woman's cold, emotionless voice was unmistakable.
"Yes, I remember," said Penelope, smiling ironically. How could she forget?
"Please be outside your house at six thirty sharp. That gives you half an hour to prepare. You'll be picked up by a plain-clothes cop and transported to the space needle, where you will be bugged and a helicopter will transport you to the top. Are these arrangements acceptable?"
"And if they weren't, what would you suggest I do about it?" Penelope asked, rolling her eyes. "Yes, that's fine. Should I dress in any particular way?"
"No. In fact, I would suggest loose, baggy clothing to make weapon concealment easier."
"I get weapons, too?" Penelope asked, surprised.
"It's better than being completely defenseless. We have no idea what awaits you once the dragon picks you up."
Penelope nodded. "Very well. Thank you for calling, Tara. If I don't see you again, good luck in your work. You do good things for mankind."
There was a brief silence before Tara's stiff voice crackled across the line. "Thank you."
Penelope flipped her phone closed and went to her room. She threw a change of clothing into her green backpack, along with her wallet and, optimistically, a toothbrush. She also stuffed in a good supply of blank notebooks and some mechanical pencils, as well as the printed pages of the part of the novel she'd completed so far. Wherever she was going, she was guessing she wouldn't be very busy. She might as well be prepared.
Her packing finished, she went to the kitchen and fixed herself a sandwich. Then she decided to make a couple of extras and put them in her bag in case the dragon didn't have any human food. Ann was working silently at the counter and Penelope didn't speak to her, knowing that her mother was struggling intensely with her emotions. Instead, she set her backpack by the door, sat down at the piano and played 'The Morning Song' until the doorbell rang. She looked up at the door, and her hands stilled on the keys, her heart fluttering in excitement and fear.
Her fate had arrived.













