Topic ID: 27489
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Angel of Death
Nano '08 Winner Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 04 Nov 2007 Posts: 865 Reviews: 404 Country: Where the big star in the sky doesn't leave 1286 Points
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:51 am Post subject: Heart Turns to Blue |
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Heart Turns to Blue
By Angel of Death
Chorus
Faded dreams turn into vivid memories
When all my joys become my miseries
Life through my eyes turn a different hue
When my heart turns to blue
Verse 1
I tried painting my heart today
When I finished, my canvas was full of gray
And the colors on my palette were too
I tried to paint the joy in my soul
But my paintbrush let the pain unfold
My white canvas turned into gray and black
All of this was because of you
This is what happens when...
Chorus
Faded dreams turn into vivid memories
When all my joys become my miseries
Life through my eyes turn a different hue
When my heart turns to blue
Verse 2
My emotional gallery
Contains whats inside of me
When I was with you
My heart never was this shade of blue
You made me feel the rainbow
Sometimes you made my heart feel indigo
Then you left me that note on my bed
You made me feel all types of red
You took back all the "I love yous" you ever said
I threw away all my colors
And bought black and grey to replace the others
I did this all because of you
You made me feel blue
This is what happens when...
Chorus
Faded dreams turn into vivid memories
When all my joys became my miseries
Life through my eyes turn a different hue
When my heart turns to blue |
_________________ "Like the apple that passed through both the lips of Adam and Eve, you are forbidden. So if I were to pick you from a garden that has been coveted by another man, then I shall have hell to pay for my sins,"-Me |
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Firestar
Carrying out my secret plans!! Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 23 Feb 2008 Posts: 533 Reviews: 35 Country: The land of Air Force Hockey!!! 325 Points
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| What genre is this song? Pop, R&B, Country, what? |
_________________ Idiocy: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Government: If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions. |
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Angel of Death
Nano '08 Winner Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 04 Nov 2007 Posts: 865 Reviews: 404 Country: Where the big star in the sky doesn't leave 1286 Points
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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| I guess it could be Pop or R&B but I guess I was leaning towards Pop. This came to me for in my head one day I just start singing it. |
_________________ "Like the apple that passed through both the lips of Adam and Eve, you are forbidden. So if I were to pick you from a garden that has been coveted by another man, then I shall have hell to pay for my sins,"-Me |
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niteowl
I'm an ol' king bee, honey, Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 3969 Reviews: 387 Country: somewhere in America 923 Points
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:17 am Post subject: |
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Overall, I really liked this. I was, however, a bit confused. The main premise is that your heart is now blue, but in the first verse, you imply that your heart is grey and black. Which is it?
Keep writing!  |
_________________ "You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
Got YWS?
"Whoever said senior year was easier than junior year lied through their teeth" A friend of mine |
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Runawaythoughts
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 27 Mar 2008 Posts: 50 Reviews: 35
300 Points
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Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:32 am Post subject: |
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| I'm not quite sure how this would be sang. I've been trying to hum a tune for it that fits? fast slow? i cant quite get it right. And melody? |
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October Girl
We're gonna do this October style Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 1989 Reviews: 178 Country: Where Love is Lost 23 Points
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:24 am Post subject: |
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I love this Angel, you were brillant! You're not forcing the rythem or the ryme I'm really proud of you. This piece is perfect. You put alot of emotion into it and it's not ignored I love this piece and I think this would win a blue ribbon, just don't sell this to Brittney Spears lol. This is really wonderful.
Your friend, as always
-Max |
_________________ My name is Max
I am a 15 mother of Ben and Bailee...
CAUTION! Broken heart up ahead |
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Dr. Jamie Bondage
Perfectionist Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 3409 Reviews: 75
3212 Points
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:37 am Post subject: |
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This seems sort of repetitives. I liked it, but it seems way too repetitive.
My suggestion would be to add more verses.
another thing is that the second verse doesn't seem to flow. but...idk. Lol. I just think it doesn't seem to flow. My opinion though.
Besides thoughs, I loved the meaning behind it. I loved the metaphor! Such an amazing picture!
Hope this helped.
Jamie |
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