Topic ID: 27177
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 962 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 4949 Points
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:33 pm Post subject: Critiques, Anyone? |
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Reopened! Send in those requests!
Why Should I Ask YOU For A Critique?
Because I’m amazing, and you love me. Actually, there are several reasons:
1. I just won Suzanne’s best critique contest. First place.
2. I am currently the featured member.
3. I have five stars, and have received the last two in just a month or two.
4. I am on Rieda’s star review list.
5. I am now an Instructor. I was nominated by six people.
6. I am the Instructor of the Month for June.
So, interested?
What Will You Critique?
I am best at action/adventure, romantic, and other. I can do pretty much anything, though – don’t hesitate to ask. (I’m even willing to do advanced critiques, though I take longer for those.)
What Don’t You Critique?
I can attempt poetry, songwriting, scripts, art, and lyrics, though they won’t be as in-depth as my regular ones. So ask, but don't expect it to be riveting.
I am fine with any rating, but no graphic sex, please.
Also, please don’t ask for a critique on chapter 23. Start with chapter one. I can get there eventually, but do expect a wait.
Oh, and no ‘anything of mine.’ Pick something.
How Many Pieces Can I Ask For?
Hundreds.
What Are You Good At Finding?
- Grammar/spelling
- Emotions
- Flow
- Realism (needed for all types of writing, including fantasy.)
- Character development
- Description
- Dialogue.
- General atmosphere.
Eh… maybe more, but that’s off the top of my head. Ask for something, and I’ll keep an eye out for it.
Examples
-Wrong or Right <-- Winner of Suzanne’s Best Critique contest!
-~Michelangelo's Night and Day~ Chapter One
-Burnt Memories
-First Kiss
-Freedom Fighters
-Kidnapped, Chapter Two
-In The Night
Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
Last edited by JFW1415 on Tue Jun 24, 2008 7:52 pm; edited 59 times in total |
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Aedomir
If you hate me press alt+f4. Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 19 Jan 2008 Posts: 1860 Reviews: 370 Country: The fantasy of limbo, but I call it England. 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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Hiya! Please could you take a lok at mine:
Here.
If you need me to crit anything of yours, just say!
Thanks! |
_________________ We are all Sociopaths: The Prologue
Sociopath: So • ci • o • path noun
1. Someone who believes their behaviour is right.
2. Human. |
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GingerLizzy
But The Tops Of Carrots Are Green Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Posts: 1077 Reviews: 461 Country: England 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:46 pm Post subject: |
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I'd be thankful if you could critique anything of mine really.
You choose
:] |
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Oh, and enter my new contest! |
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Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer! Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 12 Jan 2006 Posts: 852 Reviews: 199 Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy. 583 Points
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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I am sad, because I can't beg a critique for my romance since you've already critiqued it! Oh well.
If you're up to it, Diary of a Villain *hugs her baby* has a new prologue and I am looking for feedback on it. ^_^
Part 1: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic26581.html
Part 2: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic26947.html
I'll settle for only a review on the first part, though. =P
Thanks a bunch! |
_________________ "Stupid shiny Volvo owner." -Bella Swan
“I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object.” — Edward Cullen
School hates Keek. She will be very busy for a while, don't expect much activity. |
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chocoholic
Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 31 May 2007 Posts: 1350 Reviews: 438 Country: Raxacoricofallapatorius 4410 Points
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Periwinkle
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 232 Reviews: 94 Country: Crayola Crayon Box 1086 Points
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:34 am Post subject: |
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I could use more opinions on "The Monster" before I officially decide how I'm going to edit it:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic26991.html
Thanks a lot if you do! |
_________________ "You're going to jail, Bart. Say good-bye to the wife and Tater Tots!" - Andy from The Toy Story |
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Wolf
ςђเคг๏รςยг๏ Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 12 Joined: 25 Oct 2007 Posts: 1379 Reviews: 567 Country: Wherever my imagination takes me 594 Points
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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We all fall down
I'd be really appreciative if you could take a look at that. It's kind of random and has a lot of out-there metaphors, so if you don't like those kinds of things, here's something else:
Alphess: part one [revised as of 2008/03/11]
Thanks!  |
_________________ " My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) Everybody drinks water. "
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
♥ Got YWS? The user formerly known as: Ayra Help much appreciated! |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 962 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 4949 Points
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:43 pm Post subject: |
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Hello, everyone! Me again. I have reviewed (most) of what have been posted on here for me, and many others by the same authors.
I have good news, though!
I will be on a major critiquing spree on Friday, when we have the day off for a teacher's workshop.
Please send me something to critique, and I will do so then! I really want another star!
You may send me as many pieces as you want; don't worry about being polite and only sending one thing. ;P
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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J. Wilder
Senior Writer

Joined: 12 Dec 2004 Posts: 202 Reviews: 30 Country: Long Beach, California 300 Points
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 962 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 4949 Points
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:14 am Post subject: |
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This post has been edited as of 3/24/08. A lot has changed; I'm not as vague anymore. Please go check that out.
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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Autumn
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 20 Feb 2008 Posts: 118 Reviews: 18 Country: dnalgnE, where the quacks duck and the barks dog 300 Points
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Snoink
Oink! :D Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 8069 Reviews: 2059 Country: USA 2931 Points
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Just a question... is there any rating you won't approach, like R or something? |
_________________ Leopluridon '08: He Will Show Us The Way!
Go Aggies! |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 962 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 4949 Points
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:26 pm Post subject: |
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Snoink: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. I'll do any rating, just no graphic sex scenes. O.o If you imply something I probably won't mind.
I'll add that to the original post later on.
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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yoha_ahoy
yoyo Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Posts: 852 Reviews: 371 Country: the underbelly of a cloud 270 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, okay... here is the link to the first part, though you don't have to start critiquing until part 3 or 4. The first few are good, my later ones need more loving. ^_^ But critique as you will!
Circus Pirates Part 1
Thank you!
~Yoyo  |
_________________ @(^_^)@ Got YWS? Rick, FTW!
Visit my Site!!!: yoha_ahoy's website
Need something to critique? Check out Circus Pirates!
Need a critique instead? Then visit Yoyo's Crit Requests! |
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OverEasy
Your pizza is a dirty phone call... Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Posts: 681 Reviews: 108 Country: The Lovely Hills of BubbleYum! 332 Points
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