Topic ID: 26989
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krazykoreandevil
Junior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 13
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 16
Reviews: 9
Country: This is my kingdom
300 Points
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 Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:31 am Post subject: Just written story |
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ok, my friend an i like to write and we're writing a story together. i understand if u guys or gals don't want to read it all...cause it's at the end of the 4th chapter with 35,000 words. by the way, read it in book mode... but u don't have to. we actually have no clue as to what we're writing. we're pretty much getting ideas and making it all flow. grammar should be somewhat good.
thanks ahead of time 
and if any of you guys can actually find a good plot line this story can follow, be sure to post it 
and i do know that the first few chapters are a load of well...you guys understand...don't take the constructive critism too far... i'm only 13 >.>
so this is a ... well descriptive paragraph of what's to come...kinda... not really a plot line...
Algeria is plunged into chaos through deceit, corruption, war, and the dark lord, Gorlan who is threatening to destroy the properity of Algeria. James, a teenage youth must muster up his courage and all his skill and form up with another teenager, Timmoth. Together, they must train until they can defeat any foe. But when war breaks out between Chiloe and Algeria, the two must finish their training in a matter of weeks and venture off to kill Gorlan, who plans to use the turmoil to his advantage.
story may turn into fantasy, not sure ^^
happy reading even if it sucks. |
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Aedomir
If you hate me press alt+f4.
Master of the Forum
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Posts: 1859
Reviews: 370
Country: The fantasy of limbo, but I call it England.
284 Points
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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35, 000 words? This is only 7... Oh right, this is 35, 000 CHARACTERS!
Alright, you clearly have no idea where you are going, there are a lot of missing answers, and I wonder where this will go. I like your writing style. It is so unfair... I want someone to write my novel with me... But no one cares. 
Back to the point, the writing is great, talent is without a doubt present, but yes, the plot doesn't really follow. I will read the rest ASAP, but so far...
PLAN! PLAN!
Keep writing!
~D'Aedomir~ |
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krazykoreandevil
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 16
Reviews: 9
Country: This is my kingdom
300 Points
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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hahhaa i know... i will make it happen. my friend is currently writing half the 5th chapter and i'm going to write the other half and edit it. but thanks for the critique! i'll have to ... make it follow the plot faster
p.s. the guy i'm working my story with is one of my closest friends, he's only writing it with me cause he's an awesome writer
p.s.s and yes i did mean 35,000 characters oops
p.s.s.s... what is the maximum amount of words then? 7,000? |
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krazykoreandevil
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 16
Reviews: 9
Country: This is my kingdom
300 Points
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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| chapter 5 and 6 are written by my friend, will post it when he gets around to giving me my jump drive -.- |
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krazykoreandevil
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 16
Reviews: 9
Country: This is my kingdom
300 Points
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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| chapter 5... |
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