Stop The Scrolling Header | Enable the Scrolling Header

Firefox 3

News:  

Let The Games Begin: The Writing Olympics!

Event #5 Results!
Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit    
first pictures posted on YWS :)
first pictures posted on YWS :)

by Sportgurl46 in Art & Photography
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Advanced Critiques

This thread was created on October 21, 2007
Post new topic   Reply to topic
Digg It Del.icio.us


The Gifted and the Cursed: Super-Kids in Training Goto page Previous  1, 2
Topic ID: 21241
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
BigBadBear   View This User's Portfolio
No One Mourns the Wicked
Master of the Forum

566
Gender: Gender:Male
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1452
Reviews: 566
Country: Gotham City
248 Points

PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey guys. We have been getting off the subject. Can you still correct my work? I have been waiting for a long time!



thanks!


BBB

_________________
Read and write four to six hours a day. If you cannot find the time for that, you can't expect to become a good writer. ~ Steven King
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
EnchantressMuffin   View This User's Portfolio
Novelist

193
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 428
Reviews: 193

300 Points

PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 1:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm still working on that, Jared, but I agree with the others that you need to stay away from this publishing company. The letter sounds completely creepy and suspicious - and what kind of publisher electronically checks your spelling and grammar and punctuation (and we all know about how accurate those are) without having any regard to the content of your book?
Yup. That's a scam. Run away. Far away.

And I'll be getting back you you as soon as I can with the review.

Peace, love, chocolate,
Muffin
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
snap   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

14
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 19
Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 211
Reviews: 14
Country: NYS
300 Points

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've downloaded this, as well, and I'll get to it when I can, promise. Smile

Better yet, submit your work to an agent. They'll get you the best deal, and they aren't paid until AFTER you're published. I think that's probably your best bet. Wink

_________________
The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
~ Robert Cormier
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Charlie II   View This User's Portfolio
Novelist

71
Gender: Gender:Male
Age: 16
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 251
Reviews: 71
Country: England: Land of the pasty!
300 Points

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK I've done as much as I can today. I've almost finished Chapter 1, so here's the edits so far.

The main point this time: useless words.
You've used a lot of pointless words in this chapter, I've highlighted all the ones I could find, but have a look through yourself too. Most of the time you don't HAVE to add adverbs in or annoying adjectives. Have a think about that.

Charlie

_________________
I used to be "DarkLight" but now I'm "Charlie II"!

... and you can leave out the "II" Wink

"Eyes open. Head clear. See much. Say little."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
BigBadBear   View This User's Portfolio
No One Mourns the Wicked
Master of the Forum

566
Gender: Gender:Male
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1452
Reviews: 566
Country: Gotham City
248 Points

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 6:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey! Thanks for that. Now I realize how much I need to change!

_________________
Read and write four to six hours a day. If you cannot find the time for that, you can't expect to become a good writer. ~ Steven King
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
xyberangel   View This User's Portfolio
Junior Writer

38
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 18
Joined: 16 Oct 2007
Posts: 47
Reviews: 38

300 Points

PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmn it could be a scam. I never ever heard of a publishing company that actually asks you to pay them first.... That sounds a little dodgy. Do your research first. If it really proves genuine then think about it. Through I still think lulu is better because you dont have to pay for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
LoveableLittleSock   View This User's Portfolio
Somebody who has an irrevocable hate for commas
Novelist

149
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 13
Joined: 02 Jan 2008
Posts: 431
Reviews: 149
Country: United States of America
300 Points

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, just wanted you to know I dowloaded your story and I'll give you the critique as soon as I'm done reading it. Smile

_________________
Writing is far from just a hobby. It's a passion.

Need an utterly fabulous Critique that's absoloutely free?

A Loveable Little Contest... (Ends Aug 5)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
This thread was created on October 21, 2007
Post new topic   Reply to topic
   Young Writers Society Forum Index » Advanced Critiques All times are GMT
Goto page Previous  1, 2
Page 2 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum
This thread was created on October 21, 2007

Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. - Groucho Marx
Contact | Memberlist | Copyright Policy | YWS Store | Site Map
Facebook |  Goodreads |  Live Journal |  MySpace |  Wikipedia

© 2004 - 2008 The Young Writers Society