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starrynight89
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 Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject: Untitled |
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Hello,
I still don't have a title yet but I'm playing around with a few at the moment. Anyways, thank you to all of you who decide to review it! I have a bad habit of writing awfully long chapters, don't worry, I only wrote one so far...
If you have a story posted in this section, let me know if you want me to review it..or I'll just pick one 
Bye and keep writing,
starry-night  |
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Jared
because bears do it better
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| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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Hey! Just to let you know, I have downloaded your story and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. You seriously write long chapters! Lol anyway, Ill get back to you ASAP.
BBB |
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starrynight89
Senior Writer
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| Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:04 am Post subject: Yay! |
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| Aww, Thank you! I know my chapters are rather long....would you like me to review any of your work? |
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Jared
because bears do it better
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| Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, if you could. Anything, from Flying South (sorta) to my beautifully Evil novel. Whatever floats your boat.
BBB
(I have just downloaded and I'm reading right now!!) |
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Jared
because bears do it better
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| Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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There! I have gotten the first like eight pages. I'll keep doing it! It takes me a while, but it will all be done eventually!
I really like it! You have a very good imagination! I can't wait to read more, except now, I have to go and get some things done!
BBB |
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EnchantressMuffin
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| Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:40 am Post subject: |
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So I skimmed the first two, three pages, and I didn't know if I could read much more than that tonight - because I already promised bigbadbear that I'd review his story, and I'm taking waaaay too long - so I'll just jot down a few thoughts I had from the bits I read.
So.
~ Writing style: a little sloppy and immature.
~ Chapters: Freaking long. A little too freaking long, I think. It would be an excellent idea to break them up so they're a little smaller. I think you could do that.
~ There's some editing that need to be done; some misplaced capitals and missing letters. If you like I could read this over thoroughly and do an edit - just the rudimentary stuff, though.
And I have to be off to ward off the orange rhinos that are attacking my supply of whitewashed cheese poof beanies, so I'll get back to you once I've saved the world from malaria malfunction.
Get back to me on the editing thing, if you'd like!
Peace, love, choco-bean,
Muffin |
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snap
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| Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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So, I downloaded it, too, because it looks interesting, though I haven't had a chance to read it yet. I'll get to it soon, though. It caught my interest.  |
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starrynight89
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 3:28 am Post subject: |
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| Thanks, but mind you, it's not that great! |
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Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
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| Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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Downloaded your story, look forward to a critique as soon as I get through it! (*looks at number of pages* o_O Which may take a while)
^_^ |
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Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 940
Reviews: 207
Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy.
300 Points
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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^_^ I won't lie, this story didn't really start to look interesting until the very end. =P I suggested some ideas on how to fix that.
I have no idea how the comment tracker works, but I am going to assume you can see the changes I tracked and stuff. >.< I hope.
Good luck with your story! |
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LoveableLittleSock
Somebody who has an irrevocable hate for commas
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XxxDo
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