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This thread was created on January 16, 2008
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The Art of War: Part V_ Generals of Hate
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Prosithion
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 Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:45 pm Post subject: The Art of War: Part V_ Generals of Hate |
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Silence falls like a shroud of silk,
Over the battlefield of snow and blood.
The bodies of men wounded and dead,
Lie together indiscriminately,
Red and gold and blue and green.
Out of the fog a flag arises,
Torn and tattered after that long fight,
Red and gold on the darkening horizon,
The victor arises upon that field,
That field of snow and blood.
Arriving home through cheering crowds,
The General receives awards from the leaders of state.
For no matter how cunning a general can be,
He is no match for the army of hate. |
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Church
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:31 am Post subject: |
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| what battle are you going for or where are you trying to take this dont get me wrong I likes it war has always been my thing but what is the...the...message yeah that thing |
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Suzanne
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:37 am Post subject: |
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Lie together indiscriminately,
Red and gold and blue and green. |
indiscriminately is an ugly word, and the last line here is kind of ugly too. What's poetic about a list of colors?
I don't really have anything else to say. I haven't read the other parts in months. I will say though, like the person above it does look kind of purposeless. Maybe you should ask this about the poem: what do I want my reader to feel/think/do/believe after reading my poem? That's always a good way to get your thoughts going. |
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Prosithion
Menya Zovut Shnur!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 18
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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| to understand the last parts, you have to read the first four. That explains the colors and the war. I suggest reading the other parts. That might help clarify this part for you. |
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| This thread was created on January 16, 2008 |
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