I watched as the razor blade punctured my arm, a small trickle of blood running from the fresh wound. A strange happy feeling, a sensation I had grown used to, flowed over me. "Thank god for endorphin" I thought to myself. As I slowly slid back to lay down on my bed, I looked at the blood covered scars that littered my arm "All because of you..." I coldly whispered. Memories filled my head of her, rendering my endorphin release useless. Anger and sorrow bubbled up from my heart, mixing together to form a combination of the two.
You idiot. You really need to forget her. I thought to myself. Well, another endorphin release wasted. Careful not drip blood all over the floor I walked to the bathroom. I washed off the blood, the towel and the water turning red. I carefully put a band-aide over the wound. My mind wandered, slowly remembering her. Her deep blue eyes, her blond hair, her graceful figure. I had dedicated my life to her, hell, I gave up my virginity for her. "GODDAMMIT!" I shouted, slamming my head against the mirror. It cracked from the force of the blow, cutting a deep gash in my head. "Damn it..." I quickly grabbed a hand towel and rapped it around the wound. The crack in the mirror wasn't that noticeable, as long as you didn't look at it.
"Are you okay in there Kyle?" My mother yelled from somewhere in the house. I could here her footsteps quickly cludding up the stairs.
"Yeah mom. Just fell." My cell phone quiet loudly, playing 'Jesus of Suburbia'. I checked my pockets. Must have left it in the room.
"It's for you." She called out softly enough for me to hear.
"Duh." I tried to hide the towel, but it was useless. She'd see it no matter what. At least this phone call would delay her questions. My mom was standing outside the door, my cell phone in hand. I quickly grabbed the phone from her, ignoring her questioning looks. I ran into my room and shut the door. "Hello?"
"Hi Kyle...this is Hannah." My mood went from bad to worse.
"Oh, it's...you." I said as coldly as possible. I looked at the "end" button, tempted to hang up, but some little sliver of me kept me from doing it. Deep inside a little part of me still loved her.
"Please don't hang up Kyle."
"I won't. Why would you want to talk to me? Just the other day you were telling me to leave you alone."
"Don't yell at me. All I want to do is just talk. You need to understand what's going on. Come over, please." Now I really considered hanging up. But once again, the sliver of love I had for her stopped me.
"Okay. I'll be over in a second." I hung up and slipped the phone into my pocket. Nodding to my mom, I ran down stairs and grabbed my coat.
"Where are you going young man?" My mother asked.
"Over to Hannah's. Be home before dark." She gave me one of those "That's really what you're doing?" looks, but I didn't care. She could bitch all she wants about it later, but right now I was settling something.
Hannah's house wasn't that far from my house. Just a few blocks or so. I remembered how to get there by heart, from walking there everyday. My heart lurched again, remembering all the things we did on the walk there. God, get yourself together! I smacked myself across the face, immediately regretting it. Hannah would know I was hurting myself.
There it was, Hannah's house. The large blue house with the porch light on. I could see her silhouette standing behind the glass door. The moment she noticed me walking across the street she opened the door. I strode across the lawn, and up onto the large ranch porch. My extra large Converses got caught on the top step, laying me flat on the wooden porch.
"Are you okay?" Hannah reached down for me but I swatted her away.
"I'm no baby. I can do it myself." I struggled to my feet, making sure not to show how much it hurt. "Now, what do you want to talk about."
"Please, let's talk about it in my room." She sensed my anger. The room had been the place that nights ago they had had sex for the first time. Just forty minutes after she made him throw on his clothes and leave. She told him never to talk to her again and forget he ever loved her. He asked if she was upset because they had sex. She screamed that she wasn't upset about that, but just wanted him to leave. "Okay, maybe we'll just go around back to the patio" I nodded, still fuming over the last remark. We walked around back. The patio. I had rarely been in the backyard, considering her parents were always back here. Good. A nice place to talk with no romantic memories. She walked towards a patio couch and sat down. I sat as far away from her as possible, wanting nothing to do with her.
"So..."
"Yeah..." I mumbled. "What didn't I understand? The part about you making me leave? Or the part about you never loving me?" My voice slowly getting louder.
"Please, this is no time to get mad. We need to sort this out."
"No time to get mad? You're the ex-love of my life and you kicked me out!Is this because you didn't want to have sex?"
"No. I wanted to. I wanted to share my first time with you. You don't understand." Both of our voices slowly got louder. Soon we'd both be shouting, and then the moment would be ruined. I tried my best to keep my cool, but it didn't work.
"No, I don't understand. I can't possibly even fathom what you were thinking."
"You're right. You can't." Hannah's eyes slowly watered. It was then that I noticed how bad she looked. Her skin had a green tint to it, her usually glistening hair was dull. "You don't know what's it's like..."
"What? Breaking your boyfriends heart?"
"No...Kyle...I'm dying." My heart skipped a beat.
"What?"
"I have a terminal disease. The doctors can't find a cure and they predict I'm going to go contagious in a few weeks. I have only months to live." I thought that over again. She was dying? My mouth went dry and my throat tensed up. She was crying now and I wasn't to far away from doing it myself.
"I didn't know..."
"No, you didn't." She sobbed. "I told you to leave because I didn't want you to be there when I...when I...when I died. I thought the pain of just losing my love would be better than losing the love of your life altogether. I never meant to cause you such pain." I knew in my heart that I should hug her, but my mind would not let me. I was supposed to hate her for what she did. But my heart kept telling me that she did what she did because she loved me. Finally, my heart won. I got up and walked over to her. I slowly picked her up and hugged her.
"Don't blame yourself. You did it because you loved me. I understand that now. I'm sorry." She kissed my cheek.
"I never wanted you to see me die. I wouldn't be strong enough to watch you die."
"Neither would I." I hugged her tighter. We slowly began to sway, side to side, almost as if we were in a dance. It seemed that the love we had for each other tonight destroyed all else. We forgot that Hannah was dying, that we had just broke up, even that it was nearly midnight. Everything disappeared in that haze of love we shared. I didn't know what we'd do, I didn't know where we'd go from here, but I did know that I loved her and that was all that mattered.
It is a thought, so I think you should get rid of the quotations, and just have it in italics. Same with the rest of the thoughts, or people will get confused. The reason for this is because you also use the double quotations for when he speaks, it makes it confusing.
However, you did very well in writing it. There were a few spelling/grammar issues, but nothing much after that. You must have been really bored during math. That's okay, though. I admit that I was making an outline for my novella during 
It was after a test though. 
