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Angels, Devils, and Ice Cream
Angels, Devils, and Ice Cream

by mizindependent14 in Other Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Other Fiction

This thread was created on November 26, 2007
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blacktiger3915   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:29 pm    Post subject: You Gonna Eat That? Reply with quote

Mrs. Rosa Brown, a 75 year-old lady who lived in the North all her life, came down to 1957 Biloxi, Mississippi to see her new born great grandson. She was slightly unaware of the rules of the royal South. Mrs. Brown became hungry while driving and decided to stop at a diner in the out skirts of Biloxi. She got out of the blue Thunderbird with a purple church dress and matching shoes and hat. Mrs. Brown stepped into the diner and sat at the bar waiting on the waitress. A big white man came from behind the cash register and stood in front of Mrs. Brown." I would like the blueberry waffle with 2 strips of bacon, and a cup of coffee please", asked Mrs. Brown to the white man standing in front of her. " We don't serve Niggers", said the white man in a harsh tone. " I don't eat'em either", explained Mrs. Brown.



Last edited by blacktiger3915 on Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Azila   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha! I like that response.

This seems kind of like a joke or something, not a real piece of fiction--even flash fiction. You need to elaborate more... it just seemd like you're giving the absolute minimum in order to get your story across, and as a writer you should give much much more.

This could make a beautiful short story/flash fic if you worked on it a little.

PM me if you have questions/comments or need a review!

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blacktiger3915   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm surprised that a lot of people get the joke. If you don't get the joke, read the last 2 lines again.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, I get the joke. Wink

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Azila. This piece was quite short and more like a joke than a story. If you want this to be a story, elaborate so more. Do something constructive to it. But it it's not and is just to supposed be a joke, then just post it in Other.

I really don't like how you mentioned nigger in this story. It was a bit...out of place. I was shocked when I read it (though I did get the joke.)

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wasn't talking about you Azila, I knew you got it. I was talking about other people who read it and didn't get it.

And to MadHatter, a used nigger because that was the word they used to call blacks in the 50's. Read up on Black History in Feburary.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know that they said that back in the 50's. Trust me on that one. I know a lot about the 50's. I'm just surprised you'd use it.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked it, but I agree with everyone else...it wasn't exactly fiction. It sounds kind of like one of those forwards you email to all your friends lol. But it was funny; it made me laugh.

"new born" is one word though. Smile

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that the joke was wuite funny, but I think you could actually make this into a nice novella if you work on it and puit some effort in.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They still call blacks "niggers" in today's world. It's pathetic.

And yes, it does feel like more of a joke than a real story. It is short, but it gives you a sense of how inconsiderate and racist people can be, and how the victims can just hit out with these hilarious comments, which would leave these pathetic people stunned.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well there's no joke forum so you might as well post it here, right? i give this joke 7/10. yeah it was pretty easy to get, but i bet none of you guys noticed her name was mrs. BROWN!

keep writing blacktiger!
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah Emma, we do keep calling ourselves "niggas" to each other, which it's sad. My school and neighborhood is all black (including me) and we use that word religously.

And to the readers, this really happened. I didn't make this up.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pretty good...

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Kelsey! Very Happy

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OH!! THAT GUY WAS SERVED!

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This thread was created on November 26, 2007

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