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The Second Spectrum of Sanity [Sec. 3: The Skywalk City]
The Second Spectrum of Sanity [Sec. 3: The Skywalk City]

by Prokaryote in Other Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Romantic Fiction

This thread was created on January 1, 2008
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Cupid's Arrow Chapter 1

Cupid's Arrow Ch. 2
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 8:35 pm    Post subject: Cupid's Arrow Ch. 2 Reply with quote

Chapter 2

Change of Plans

The tall, dark, trees hovered above the forest floor, staring at Esperanza as she wandered through the forest. The howling of the wind and the sound of the ocean crashing against the shore merged together, creating a scary melody. A shiver went up her spine, as the sounds of the forest grew louder.

Esperanza looked up at the sky, hoping to find refuge in the sun, but it was hidden behind the black leaves that blanketed the sky. Tears welled up in her eyes as she began to regret ever leaving Aaron. She knew that she would never make it home alone but she also knew that if she stayed she would have fallen severely in love with him.

They were from two different worlds. Worlds that coincided with each other but never clashed. Esperanza was a Princess whose father's rules were made for her to abide. Aaron was probably just a mere peasant who had no chains on his freedom. Even so, Esperanza was like the sun and Aaron was like the moon. They lived in the same sky but they never really met. On occasion they could coexist together but they never clashed. If they did, it would cause an eclipse, sending their worlds into darkness.

Esperanza tried to block out all traces of Aaron from her mind, so that she could focus on getting home. But no matter how hard she tried, she could still see his beautiful blue eyes. They were like the ocean in the morning, before dawn breaks. When she stared into Aaron's eyes, she felt like she was lost in a secret paradise.

His eyes lit up every time she talked, it was if she had her own personal sun. Aaron made her soul feel light, even though it was sheathed in darkness. When she told him that she was leaving, Aaron's sun like eyes began to sink into a gray stormy sky. She would never forget the pain that blanketed his eyes. It was if she sucked the ocean clean of its life and purity, leaving it dead and corrupted.

The more Esperanza thought about Aaron, the more she thought that she should go back to him. Suddenly, while she stopped to stare through the trees, to decide which way she should turn, two eyes caught her attention.

She stared at the eyes with fear in her now alert eyes. They were huge and brown with fierce gold specks. Suddenly the leaves rustled, sending fear through her veins.

"Who's there?" Esperanza asked.

Growls escaped from behind the trees, sending Esperanza into a quick dash through the forest. Suddenly, she tripped over some branches that lay on the ground. Esperanza let out a yelp of pain, as she struggled to roll over. Something stuck her in the side, causing blood to gush out.

The stream of red blanketed the leaves and the shrubs that lay on the ground. Esperanza's vision began to blur as a dark figure approached her. It was a man, tall, with shoulder length black hair. His eyes were dark brown, specked with gold. He knelt down beside her, and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright miss?" the man asked softly.

Esperanza parted her lips to speak but she was too shook up with fear to speak. She tried nodding her head but the man gently held her head down.

"Be still." he ordered.

"What is going on? Is she hurt?" a woman's voice asked softly.

"She cut her leg open...bring me something to tie the wound up." the man replied.

Within seconds of the man's request, the woman appeared by the man's side with a red scarf in her hands. The man took the scarf from the woman, and wrapped it tightly around the wound.

"Thank you." Esperanza breathed.

"Its my pleasure, I'm Camden by the way and this is my...uh...sister Selene." the guy replied smiling.

The man's smile made Esperanza's heart jump. It was almost as bright as the morning star. She smiled politely back at Camden and moved her eyes over to the girl who was equally as beautiful as her brother. She had long black hair that was pulled back into a pony tail, and identical honey brown eyes. Her full lips were painted with blood red lipstick, that stood out against her porcelain skin.

"It is nice to meet you. Both of you." Esperanza said looking at Camden.

"Well if its alright with you...I think we need to get going. Can you make it home safely?" Selene asked firmly.

"Really Selene, we don't have to get going that fast you know." Camden said softly.

"I don't want to keep you...I should be getting home myself. Its not safe to linger in the woods for a long period of time." Esperanza said uneasily.

"I agree. Lets go Camden." Selene ordered.

"Would you like a ride?" Camden asked brightly, ignoring his sister.

"Uh...no thanks. I will be eternally grateful for your help...you do not need to extend your kindness any farther. I'm sure I can make it from here." Esperanza replied softly.

"I won't allow it." Camden said firmly.

"Camden, please, she said she did not want to travel with us, so let her go by herself." Selene hissed.

"Look I'll be fine, my home is not far from here." Esperanza added kindly.

"It is not safe for you to be alone out here. Especially with our kind here." Camden hissed angrily.

Esperanza stared at Camden confusedly and then turned towards Selene. She saw that Selene was glaring at Camden too. Her lips were pulled back behind her teeth, and her eyes were a bright gold. Fear crawled up Esperanza's spine as she realized Selene's eyes were identical to the eyes she saw staring at her in the dark shadows. Growls escaped from Selene's mouth, like the growls that sent Esperanza running before.

Without a warning, Selene lunged at Esperanza but was intercepted by Camden. As Camden wrestled his sister to the ground, Esperanza watched in terror. Selene's eyes were glued on her, burning with hunger.

Fighting the pain, Esperanza stood and ran off into the darkness. Behind her, she could hear growls. They were getting closer and closer, devouring the peace that lingered in the forest. A cool air caressed her wound as she ran, creating an excruciating pain. She yelped in pain, and before she could catch herself, she fell to the Earth's floor once more.

The leaves and the twigs crushed under something that was approaching her. Afraid to look up, Esperanza buried her face in the dirt, and prayed that she would be saved once more.

Flashbacks from her previous night brought a stronger fear to her eyes. She could still see the pale, dead face of her attacker. His eyes like a black abyss filled with sins and hell. Blood dripped from his white fangs which glistened in the moonlight.

To know that this time her attacker was something that might be more deadly, made Esperanza believe she was not going to make it home alive. Esperanza listened as the growls rested by her right ear, a warm breeze caressing her skin. She peeked over, blood blanketing her eyes, and screamed in horror at what she saw. It was a black wolf, with piercing gold eyes, its mouth wide open, teeth ready to attack.

Before the wolf got closer, something pushed it away, knocking it to the ground. It was another wolf. It had white fur and large blue eyes. Its teeth were sterling silver and its stance was firm and strong. The wolf turned to look at Esperanza as she lye there, scared and helpless. It approached her slowly, as if he didn't want to alarm her, and placed his front left paw on her face.

Esperanza pictured Camden in her mind as the wolf tried to soothe her with its fur. Before Esperanza


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Last edited by Angel of Death on Mon May 26, 2008 5:26 pm; edited 19 times in total
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know what part one of Chapter one was, but this is nowhere near long enough to be a piece of fiction. You should consider posting more, something around 500 to 1000 words in length...

In any case, your punctuation is wrong.

"I've had a change of heart," Cupid replied.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm pretty sure you could've just made this a part of Chapter one, part one.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could make this an avant-garde piece, on its own, if you changed it around a little bit, but otherwise this is just silly. Why post one sentence as the next part from a first part that was over 1000 words long?

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is way too short for a chapter! Make it part of chapter one.

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