Topic ID: 23639
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Acoustic Sensitivity
Senior Writer
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Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 150
Reviews: 96
Country: Sydney, NSW
300 Points
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 Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 3:08 am Post subject: Silence Before the Storm |
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Silence Before the Storm
Calm as the wind,
Like the leaves falling right now
Calm as the water,
So clear as it is seen like now
Peace like this doesn't come often like time,
Stillness as silent as the moment of sunrise
This is the bliss
Before the lightning is going to strike.
This is the calm
Before the night that we're going to have.
This is the moment
That before we are going to fall.
This is the silence before the storm.
As clear as the sunlight
That peered through my eyes.
As beautiful as the song
That I heard through my ears.
It's so calm,
So clear,
So still,
This morning dawn.
It's so calm,
So clear,
So still,
Softly,
Right here,
Listen.
This is the bliss
Before the lightning is going to strike.
This is the calm
Before the night that we're going to have.
This is the moment
That before we are going to fall.
This is the silence before the storm
Bright as the diamond
Right there in your hand.
Fragrant as the flower
Right here in my hand.
It's so calm,
So clear,
So still,
This morning dawn.
It's so calm,
So clear,
So still,
Right there,
Right here,
Can you see?
This is the bliss
Before the lightning is going to strike.
This is the calm
Before the night that we're going to have.
This is the moment
That before we are going to fall.
This is the silence before the storm. |
Last edited by Acoustic Sensitivity on Sun Dec 23, 2007 3:36 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Kyte
Official YWS hawk
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Country: Somewhere in Florida
520 Points
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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| This could use some punctuation, but otherwise it's cool. |
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You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can fool Ivan anytime.
Miles Vorkosian, from Brothers in Arms |
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Dr. Jamie Bondage
Perfectionist
Epic Novelist
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Joined: 08 Nov 2007
Posts: 2921
Reviews: 75
44 Points
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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It seems too repetitve. It seems like you repeat the same almost exact wording over and over again. Like you didn't know how to make the song long enough, so you just used something you had already written. I like the idea, but I would suggest redoing a couple of the verses and rewriting it so that it doesn't seem repetitive.
Hope this helped!
Jamie |
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Eva 040
Junior Writer
Age: 15
Joined: 17 Nov 2007
Posts: 48
Reviews: 26
300 Points
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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Again, this is really good =]
I kinda ended up paying this, it's really good to put a tune with ^.^
This one isn't that repetive, you've evened out the chorus and verses, but the chorus' work in the song, it's cool so you can hearit quite a bit without finding it repetive.
Actally, the chorus is one of my favourite bits =]
The imagery is exceptional, and just the idea of it =]]
Awesome, Eva XxXxX |
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nightmarebook13
Junior Writer
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Joined: 19 Jun 2007
Posts: 38
Reviews: 28
Country: USA
300 Points
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 12:00 am Post subject: |
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| tell me your in a band. because i want to hear this recorded. |
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i rember stormy weather, the way the sky looks when its cold. |
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