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Preface
Preface

by Eyes of Eden in Action/Adventure Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction

This thread was created on August 11, 2007
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Outpost 101 - Chapter 1
Outpost 101 - Chapter 2
Outpost 101 - Chapter 3
Outpost 101 - Chapter 4
Outpost 101 - Chapter 5
Outpost 101 - Chapter 6
Outpost 101 - Chapter 7
Outpost 101 - Chapter 8
Outpost 101 - Chapter 9
Outpost 101 - Chapter 10
Outpost 101 - Chapter 11
Outpost 101 - Chapter 12
Outpost 101 - Chapter 13
Outpost 101 - Chapter 14
Outpost 101 - Chapter 15

A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 15)
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Dynamo   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 1:55 pm    Post subject: A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 15) Reply with quote

(You know, while I was writing this I've noticed something about the main character. He knows everything that's going to happen, yet he doesn't know anything about what's going on. Ironic, isn't it?)

Chapter 15:

Tylor took a few minutes to sharpen up his sword in the park. Failure or not, he wanted to be ready when the mission started. He realized something; the man he saw in the T.V. station in Timber was with Sorceress Edea, that means he’s going to be with her during this mission. He was never supposed to be in the story, so Tylor felt a sense of duty toward fighting that man himself. In order to win he had to be ready to do his best.

Everyone was back at the mansion when Tylor arrived. General Caraway saw him enter and said, “Good, you’re all here. It’s time to form the teams.” He turned to face Squall. “The sniper, a support unit and the leader of this operation will form the sniper team. The leader’s role is vital. If the plan fails for some reason…” he looked across the room at Irvine. “…or should the sniper miss the leader must carry out a direct assault against the sorceress. Should this happen it is the support’s responsibility to do everything in his power to assist the leader.”

“The plan was devised carefully, because we intend this to be a covert operation. But our ultimate goal is to eliminate the sorceress, and we must achieve this at all cost, even if they uncover our identities. So, who’s going to lead the operation?”

Tylor knew they were all going to choose Squall. But he was shocked when everyone looked at him instead. He didn’t know why they would choose him over Squall. Whatever their reason, it made Tylor feel good that they trusted him enough to put him in charge.

“You guys…” he faced Caraway and said, “I will.”

“Fine. I’ll leave the rest up to you.”

“Irvine, Squall and I will make up the sniper team. The gateway team will be Selphie, Quistis and Zell.”

Selphie: “Whoo-hoo!”

Quistis: “Roger.”

Zell: “Let’s DO IT!!!”

“So who’s gonna be the leader for the gateway team?” Selphie asked.

Zell suddenly started showing off his martial arts skills. He obviously wanted to be the leader. Tylor couldn’t help but smile. “Sorry, Zell.” “Quistis, you’re in charge.” Zell’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“OK! Leave it to me.”

“OK, Let’s begin.” Caraway announced. The sniper team followed him outside. The gateway team waited for them to leave before following too.

Once they were outside Tylor noticed that the gateway team wasn’t with them. They were being held up inside the mansion, by Rinoa. Right about now she’s probably explaining to them her plan to suppress the sorceress’ powers using a special item. A few moments later they emerged from the building and caught up with them.

“What was that about?” Tylor asked, knowing all too well what it was about.

“Nothing.” Quistis told him. “Let’s just concentrate on the mission.”

As they walked Tylor told everyone, “If Irvine misses, I’ll make the first charge in the full-on attack to buy some time.”

“That won’t be necessary, I’ll get the job done.” Irvine told him.

“We’ll see…”

“So like, is it true that SeeD’s aren’t supposed to question their mission?” Irvine asked.

“Some choose not to.” Tylor said, glancing at Squall.

“So like, if you knew that your enemies were pure evil, you’d get more fired up to fight them, right?”

“You’ll do fine, Irvine. There’s no need to be nervous.”

“Ha! Me, nervous? Get real.”

They made it to the gateway where Quistis’ is supposed to be. “The gateway team will wait inside the gate until 20:00.” Caraway told them. “You can enter through this door. The sorceress will pass through the gateway at exactly 20:00. In that instant, lower the gates using the control console located on the top floor and trap her inside the gateway. Good luck, everyone.”

The gateway team entered the building while the sniper team followed Caraway to their post. When they found their spot in the crowd Squall asked, “General, why has the sorceress decided to have such an extravagant parade?”

“She wants to establish her place in Galbadia Garden. It’s starting. I’m returning to my residence. Good luck.” With that, Caraway left. The three of them waited for the sorceress to make her appearance.

A few minutes later the crowd began to cheer as the sorceress, followed by President Deling and Rinoa, approached the microphone set up on the balcony.

“There she is.” Irvine said. He then noticed Rinoa. “H…Hey… That girl…!”

Squall focused his eyes to try and see her. “Rinoa…?” She seemed to be in a trance, swaying back and forth.

Sorceress Edea began her speech. “…Lowlifes…. Shameless filthy wretches. How you celebrate my ascension with such joy, hailing the very one whom you have condemned for generations. Have you no shame? What happened to the evil, ruthless sorceress from your fantasies? The cold-blooded tyrant that slaughtered countless men and destroyed many nations? Where is she now? She stands before your very eyes to become your new ruler.” She began to laugh maniacally. “A new era has just begun.”

The president approached her and whispered something. Edea drove her hand into his chest and lifted him off his feet. Purple light began to emanate from his body. “This is reality. No one can help you. Sit back and enjoy the show.”

People in the audience began to cry out and panic as the sorceress effortlessly tossed the president aside. “Rest assured, you fools. Your time will come. This is only the beginning. Let us start a new reign of terror. I will let you live a fantasy beyond your imagination.” She left the balcony and entered the building, leaving Rinoa behind.

A few moments later, screams were heard from the crowd. Tylor looked back and saw two monsters charging through the sea of people. They jumped high, landed on the balcony and began attacking Rinoa.

Irvine started shaking Tylor’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, hey, she’s in trouble big-time! We’ve gotta go help Rinoa.”

“Irvine.” He grabbed his hand. “The parade hasn’t started yet. The gate’s not open.” He released his arm.

“You’ve gotta be kidding!”

A few minutes later they heard chanting from the other side of the building’s front gate. The sorceress’ parade float began to roll down the street, being led by dancers. The sorceress sat on her throne on the float. A man stood beside her, but they were too far away to see whom it was.

“Now’s our chance. Come on!” Irvine started running through the crowd. He looked back at Tylor and Squall and said, “What are you waiting for!? Rinoa might die!”

“Follow me.” Tylor ordered as he made his way past Irvine and through the crowd. Together they made their way to the gate. As they got closer to the float they could see whom that man was. It was Seifer.

Tylor heard Squall say, “…Seifer?”

He looked over his shoulder. “Squall, there’s no time. The gates are closing!”

They hurried past the float, careful not to draw any attention to themselves. Just ahead they could see the gates sliding closed. Tylor and Irvine ran through just in time. Squall had to dive through the gate before it closed.

Irvine helped Squall to his feet. Tylor faced them and said, “We have to hurry. Rinoa won’t last much longer up there.”

“How are we going to get up there?” Irvine asked.

Tylor looked to his right and saw a truck with boxes stacked on the back. If one were to jump from the highest box he could make it to the ledge on the wall and follow it to a ladder that led to the roof.

“Over there.” Tylor ran to the truck. He hopped onto the hood and jumped to the nearest box. Without stopping to correct himself for his next leap he jumped onto the ledge with little to no effort.

He looked down at the others to see them standing in front of the truck. The were both looking at Tylor with looks of disbelief and amazement. “Tylor, how did you…”

“There’s no time!” Tylor told them. “I’m going on ahead buy us some time. But, you have to hurry, I can’t defeat those things on my own!”

Without waiting for them to respond he continued across the ledge. Honestly, he didn’t know how he was able to do what he just did either. A normal person wouldn’t be able to jump that high, especially with two giant swords strapped to his back. But he didn’t have time dwell on it, Rinoa was in trouble. He found the ladder and began to climb. Once he was on the roof he retrieved his sword Armageddon and went inside the building using the entrance that the sorceress used.

He entered a large room with many drapes hanging from the ceiling. Rinoa was lying in the corner. The two creatures that attacked her were chimeras. These front halves of their bodies were lizards and the back halves were lions. They began to charge up to Rinoa for the killing blow.

Tylor stretched out his arm and yelled, “Thundara!” A powerful bolt of electricity shot out of his hand and struck both creatures. The force of the attack threw them into a nearby wall.

Tylor made a stand between them and Rinoa. He held his sword firmly in his hand as the creatures got back to their feet.

“Ungh…” Tylor glanced over his shoulder to see Rinoa getting up. “…Tylor?”

“Stand back, Rinoa. These creatures won’t be getting past me.”

One of them ran toward Tylor with great force. Tylor lifted Armageddon and used its bulky size as a shield. The creature’s claws slammed into the blade. Its head reached over and started snapping at his face. Tylor pushed as hard as he could to keep the creature away.

The other one had gotten to its feet and was coming to attack as well. Tylor grabbed Apocalypse from its strap on his back. He spun his body as hard as he could. The first chimera was thrown back by Armageddon, the second was sliced in the neck by Apocalypse in midair and thrown back.

“Two swords for two monsters.” Tylor thought as the chimeras got back to their feet. These monsters were strong. If there was only one of them Tylor could take care of it no problem. He didn’t know how long he’d last against two.

The creatures jumped at the same time at Tylor. There was no way he could stop both of them. He made an ‘X’ with his two swords and braced himself for the worst.

‘BANG!!!’

The first chimera was tossed into the second, throwing them off course. Tylor looked to where the shot had come from and saw Irvine and Squall approaching, weapons drawn.

Things were looking up.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 4:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting, but still too fast paced for me. You really neglected Edea's appearance the significant role of Caraway in this chapter. Once again Tylor stole the spotlight and cast negative feelings on everyone, but they do not suffer or question it. Tylor has become Seifer and Squall combined, no one is questioning it or taking any reality. Once more Tylor is put as a god and such lack of weakness is clearly neglected it harms the story.

Remember the 101 writing tips? Weaknesses are a good thing, don't put yourself as Steven Seagull (Lol) and make Tylor become a God. It is very harmful to the storyline and the consequences are just not coming.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see... I guess I really need to work on that. If I go through the story to edit everything I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

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This thread was created on August 11, 2007

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