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Tears of the dead: Chapter 1 & 2
Tears of the dead: Chapter 1 & 2

by happybear in Fantasy Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction

This thread was created on June 7, 2007
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A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 7)
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:10 pm    Post subject: A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 7) Reply with quote

(It has come to my attention that I've been making a constant typo in the last few chapters. Galbia is supposed to be Galbadia. Anyway, this is the chapter where you'll realize things are starting to change within the game's storyline. Enjoy!)

A loud knock at the door woke Tylor up. It was Selphie’s voice that said, “Tylor, it’s our first SeeD mission!”

Tylor’s eyes began to adjust to the light. Half asleep, he asks, “Wha?”

“Looks like we’re going to Timber. Meet by the front gate. Hurry!”

Tylor rolled over on his side. “What the hell time is it?” He couldn’t help his grammer since he had just woken up. He was enjoying himself so much last night that he didn’t realize that he had to get up the next morning for his first mission until 3:00. His clock read 6:45. “…Ah hell nah…”

Tylor could moan and groan all he wanted but he had to get out of bed this morning. By the time he got back from the Training Centre last night he was so exhausted he just went to sleep in his regular clothes. He picked up his swords and left his room. He stopped by the cafeteria to pick up a coffee and a quick breakfast before heading out to the front gate. He managed to buy a hot dog before they were all sold out. Garden’s hot dogs are supposed to be the best in Balamb, Tylor decided to wait until he saw Zell so he could eat it in front of his face. Zell is always trying to get hot dogs before they’re sold out but he always fails miserably.

Tylor met up with Squall on his way to the front gate. “Mornin, Squall.”

“…Hey.”

“So they called you for the mission to Timber too?”

“Looks that way.” he replied.

“Well, if you fight as good as you did during the exam this mission should be a synch.”

“…Whatever.”

They saw Selphie waiting on the other side of Garden’s front gate. Three men were with her, Headmaster Cid and two Garden staff members. Selphie wore her usual yellow body skirt and brown boots. She carried with her a pair of nunchaku. Her eyes went wide with surprise when she saw Tylor. “Tylor! What happened to you?”

Confused, he asked, “What do you mean?”

“You have huge black rings under your eyes! Did you get enough sleep last night?”

Tylor grabbed Armageddon, his only sword with a shiny blade and looked at his reflection in the blade. He nearly gasped himself. Like Selphie said, he has huge black rings under his eyes. “Whoa.” was all he could say. He put his sword back and said, “I guess I stayed up a little too late in the Training Centre last night.”

One of the staff members stepped up and asked, “How late? Was it past curfew?”

“Uhh…” Tylor tried to change the subject. He might end up with a detention if he didn’t. “Hey, where’s Zell? Isn’t he coming with us?”

Cid informed him, “Mr. Dincht hasn’t shown up yet.”

The staff member said, “We’ll give him one more minute…”

Just then Zell jumped over the gates with his blue T-Board, a large skateboard with no wheels that hovers just above the ground. He slowed to a stop when he got to the group. Zell stood his T-Board up and shouted triumphantly, “Made it!”

Zell is wearing his usual clothes, a jacket, black undershirt, black gloves for punching his enemies, baggy knee-high blue pants and red and black sneakers. His jacket is much like Tylor’s except the front of it is red and it has shorter sleeves.

The Garden staff member scolded him. “T-Boards are prohibited within Garden. Have you forgotten?”

“Oops, sorry! But this is really cool. It may come in handy on a SeeD mission, someday.”

“We’ll be the judges of that.” He grabbed Zell’s T-Board and gave it to the other man. “Confiscate it.” He turned back to Zell as the other man walked away with the T-Board. “All of you are members of SeeD, but nevertheless, you’re still students at this Garden. Furthermore, because you are SeeDs, you must set an example to all others and abide by the Garden’s rules. Understood!?”

Zell sighed, “…Yeah…”

“Good.” The staff member took his place beside Cid. When his back was turned Zell stuck his tongue out at him.

“Well, about your first mission…” Cid began, “You are to go to Timber. There, you will be supporting a resistance faction. That is your mission. A member of the faction will contact you at Timber Station. This person will talk to you and say, ‘The forests of Timber sure have changed’. At this time, you must reply, ‘But the owls are still around’. That is the password. Just follow the faction’s orders.”

Zell started looking around. “Uh… Just us four?”

The staff member answered, “Correct. We have agreed to do this mission for very little money. Normally, we would never accept such requests, but…”

Cid cut him off. “Enough talk about that.” He turns to Squall and says, “Well then, Squall, you are the squad leader. Use your best judgement based on the situation. Zell, Selphie and Tylor, you are to support Squall and give your all to carry out the faction’s plans.”

They all gave Cid a salute and said, “Yes sir!” Together they left Balamb Garden for their first mission. There weren’t any cars available in the parking lot so they had to go on foot.

The main road between Balamb Garden and the neighbouring town doesn’t get much traffic so they could walk in the middle of the street without fear of being run over.

Tylor had just finished his coffee. He crushed the styrofoam cup and tossed it on the ground. He took his hot dog that was wrapped up in plastic out of his pocket. Zell saw him and asked, “Yo, Tylor. Watcha got there?”

He unwrapped it and said, “A hot dog.”

“WHAT!?” Zell yelled. “How’d you get that?”

“I just happened to be there at the right time. They told me this was the last one.”

“Hey, uh… If you’re not hungry you could give it to me.” Zell suggested.

“Oh no you don’t, Zell. I’m eating all of it!”

“Oh come on, man! Didn’t your mother ever teach you to share?”

“That doesn’t mean I HAVE to.”

“Come on, just give me a bite!” Zell reached out to grab the hot dog.

“No way, get your own!” Before long Zell and Tylor were fighting over the hot dog like four-year-olds fighting over a new toy.

Squall turned and scolded them. “Both of you knock it off!”

Zell pointed at Tylor. “He started it!”

Tylor snapped, “Did not, liar!”

Selphie sighed, “Geez, you’re both acting like a bunch of kids.”

Tylor states, “If Zell wants a hot dog he can get his own.” Before Zell could say anything Tylor stuffed the whole hot dog in his mouth.

Zell looked as if he were about to cry. “You… You ate it all!”

Tylor spoke with his mouth full. “You snooze you lose.”

Zell crossed his arms and looked away. “Fine, I didn’t want it anyway.”

It didn’t take long before they made it to the town of Balamb. Everything is just as it was when they left here after the SeeD exam, peaceful and quiet. They went to the train station to get their train tickets.

Squall spoke to the receptionist at the ticket office. “Excuse me. We’re SeeD sent from Garden to Timber.”

“Ah, yes. Garden’s Headmaster reserved tickets for you.” She gave them all a ticket. “The train leaves in fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you.” They walked to the platform and boarded the blue train bound for Timber. The room they are in is the entrance of the train. The floor, the walls and the ceiling are all made out of metal.

The train whistled and lurched forward as it began its journey to Timber. Selphie looked out of a window and said, “This train is awesome!”

“A transcontinental railroad, baby!” Zell said. “It even runs through an underwater tunnel to get to Timber.” He turns to Squall and asks, “Pretty cool, huh?”

“Sure is…”

Zell sighed and slumped forward. “Guess you’re not interested.”

Tylor asks, “Are we going to stand here through the whole trip? Isn’t there someplace to sit down?”

Zell relplies, “Sure is. You have to use your ticket to get inside.” He pointed to a control panel on the wall beside another door.

Tylor walks over to the control panel and slips in his ticket. The door slid open after a successful ‘beep’. “Alright, we can go inside now.”

The door slid open as Selphie approached. “I’m going to check out the rest of the train.”

Zell says to Squall and Tylor, “Let’s go check it out, guys.” They followed Zell through the door. The door led to a small hallway. Selphie was looking out the windows on the right wall. A door on the left wall led to a cabin. Zell pointed to the cabin door and said, “Yo, check it out! So this is SeeD’s private cabin…!” He opened the door and looked inside. As soon as he did he gasped, “WHOA!” and ran inside. The door closed behind him but his voice could still be heard on the other side. “OHHH YEAHHH! AWESOME!”

Squall sighed and went in, Tylor followed. They saw Zell bouncing around on a large couch at the end of the room. “Oh yeah, this is pretty cool!” The SeeD’s private cabin is first class quality. A bunk bed took up the right corner of the room and the couch that Zell was on took up the left.

Tylor said to Zell, “Looks like someone’s enjoying himself.”

Zell stopped bouncing and handed Tylor a magazine. “They even have magazines here.”

Tylor took the magazine and looked at the cover. It was a weapons monthly magazine. He sat on the couch and began to read. There were lots of cool weapons to look at, swords, guns, gunblades…

Squall sat on the couch beside Tylor. Zell exclaimed, “This is pretty damn amazing. It pays to be a member of SeeD!”

Without taking his eyes off the magazine Tylor warned him, “Don’t let it get to your head. We’ve still got a job to do once we get to Timber.”

Zell looks at Tylor and asks, “Hey Tylor, y’know anything about Timber?”

Of course Tylor knew everything about Timber, but he didn’t want to blow his cover so he said, “I switched trains there on my way to Balamb, but I didn’t get a chance to see or do anything there. So, no I don’t know that much about it.”

Zell sat back and said, “Thought so. Well, let me fill you in. Timber used to be a country surrounded by deep forests.”

“Hence its name.” Tylor interrupted.

Zell continues, “Right, but eighteen years ago, Galbadia invaded. Timber fell quite easily to Galbadia. So now Timber is under Galbadia occupation. It’s said there’s a whole bunch of resistance factions, big and small.”

“…And?” Tylor asks.

“Nope,” Zell says, “that’s it.”

Tylor stared at him for a few moments. “…Riiiiiiiight. Thank you, Mr. Know-It-All-Zell.”

Zell gave a thumbs up and said, “Het, no prob!”

“I don’t suppose you know what sarcasm is?”

Before Zell could reply Selphie walked tiredly into the room. “I’m not… feeling well…”

Tylor looked at her. He finally remembered the dream they were all going to have. Without thinking he said, “Don’t worry, you’re just entering the dream world.”

Squall looked at him and asked, “What are you talking about?”

Before Tylor had a chance to say anything else, and a good thing too, Selphie said, “I’m really sleepy…” and fell onto the couch.

Zell started to look tired too. “Hey, I’m starting to get… tired… too…” His head slumped back against the top of the couch as he started snoring away.

“What’s going on?” Squall asked.

Tylor, still sitting calmly on the couch with his magazine in his lap, said, “Like I said, you’re all entering the dream world.”

He turned to him and asked, “What are you talking abou- Ugh!?” He grabbed his head in pain. “…What is this?” Before he could say anything else he fell on the floor, fast asleep.

Tylor could hear a continuous screech in his ears. It started getting louder and louder. He closed his magazine and rested his arms on the back of the couch. Without another word he fell asleep just like the others, except he was the only one expecting this to happen.

Four men are seen running through the battle stricken forests of Timber. As they ran Tylor’s conscience saw through the eyes of one of them. The three men he saw in front of him were characters he knew. Laguna, Kiros and Ward. He didn’t know who the fourth person was, the person who’s eyes we was looking through. They all wore blue Galbadian armour, except without the helmets. Laguna has unkempt, shoulder length hair. His weapon is a Galbadian SMG. Kiros has dark skin and short braided hair in small thick strands. His weapons are two blades attached to his wrists. Ward is a big man. He wears a blue bandana over his baldhead. His weapon is a giant iron harpoon he carries over his shoulder. Tylor could not see what the fourth man looked like without the use of a mirror. All he knows is that his long brown hair falls into his eyes and his weapons are two Japanese style katana.

As they ran Kiros asked, “Uhh, Laguna, are you sure this is the right way?”

“Of course I’m sure! Just follow me!” They followed him into a large plain of grass. Fire burned in patches here and there. An upturned Galbadian truck is seen nearby in the grass.

Three monsters emerged from the grass. They are called Funguars. They looked like mushrooms with eyes. They seemed harmless enough from the way they bounce around and make playful sounding screeches. But these things were dangerous nonetheless.

“Hoo boy, not again.” Ward says.

Laguna readies his SMG and says, “Let’s just take ‘em out!” He pulled off a round in the first monster’s face, quickly killing it. Kiros charged the second monster and slashed it with his wrist blades. Ward threw his harpoon into the third one. The weapon pierced through the creature’s body nice and clean.

Laguna reloaded his gun and said, “Let’s move out!”

The fourth man said, sarcastically, “Whatever you say, fearless leader.” His voice sounded very similar to Tylor’s voice, except a few years older.

They crossed a small river by using a tree root as a bridge. Once on the other side Ward stops and asks, “Hey, aren’t we here to fight a war? You know, against the almighty Timber army?”

Kiros adds, “Yeah, so why are we wasting our time messin’ with these animals?”

Laguna turns and stutters, “Well, you see… It’s just that, uhh…”

“Great,” the fourth person says, “he’s gotten us lost again! Way to go, Laguna!”

Laguna points at him, “Hey, don’t blame me! It’s not my fault these forests are so damn confusing, Eric!”

So, the fourth man’s name is Eric. “How is it even confusing? They even GAVE you a goddamn map!” Laguna pulled a map out of his pocket and opened it. After a few moments he finally realizes he had been reading the map upside down. “For the love of God, Laguna, can’t you do anything right?”

Laguna crumples up the map and throws it into a nearby pond. “It doesn’t matter, we’re going home. Deling City, here we come!”

As they ran off to find the cars they arrived in Eric sighs and says, “How did I end up with an airhead like him?” They found a grey Galbadia truck and drove it out of the forest.

It was twilight when they arrived in Deling City. The streets are bustling with cars. Lights shone in every inch of the city, especially so in the areas with stores.

Laguna parked the truck infront of a fountain in the street. Ward exclaimed, “H-Hey! You can’t park in the middle of the street!”

Laguna reassured him, “Chill man, it’s cool.”

“And what are you going to say when you have to get the car out of the impound next morning?” Eric asked.

“Relax, we’re just going in for a quick drink.”

“Yeah, like you drink.” Kiros said, “We already know you’re not in it for the drinking. Just admit it already!”

Ward added, “Yeah, just drink some juice like a weenie, and then gawk at the piano lady.”

Laguna yells, “DON’T CALL HER THE ‘PIANO LADY’! That’s it, forget it! I’m not going!”

“We know you will…” Kiros said.

Eric made his way down the street. “If you girls are done arguing maybe we can get to the hotel before happy hour is over!” They followed him down the street towards the hotel they usually go to for drinks. As soon as they left a bus and car stopped in front of the truck and started honking their horns angrily.

They arrived at the hotel a few minutes later. As they approached Eric asked, “Laguna, if you’re going to create a traffic jam then why not just do it in front of the hotel so we wouldn't have to walk?”

“Uhh… Because! Now let’s just get inside.”

Eric sighed and followed the rest of them inside. The bar downstairs looks more like a fancy restaurant than a place for soldiers to get plastered. Each of the tables had a rounded couch to sit on. They all generally faced toward the front of the room where a piano sat. There were a few Galbadian soldiers sitting at the tables, drinking.

The waitress walked up to them and said, “Welcome! Your usual table is ready.”

Eric said, “Thanks. I really need something to drink, and fast.”

The waitress led them to a corner booth. Laguna, Kiros and Ward took the couch and Eric chose a chair. They didn’t sit down just yet. Laguna says, “At ease, men.” and they all sit down. Except Eric who gave him a look of general disgust from being given commands off duty.

When Eric finally sits down Laguna asks, “We’re going’ all out tonight, right boys!?” They said nothing.

The waitress came up and asked, “May I take your order?”

Laguna: “The usual!”

Kiros: “Me, too.”

Ward: “Keep ‘em coming!”

She turns to Eric and asks, “What about you, Eric?”

“Give me the strongest drink you’ve got and put it in a big glass.”

“How big, sir?”

“Empty a flower vase and give it to me in that.”

The waitress looked at him for a moment. “…I’ll… see what I can do. I’ll be back with your orders in a moment.”

Once she was gone Kiros asked, “Why do you drink so much, Eric?”

Ward added, “Yeah, you drink even more than me!”

Eric made an annoyed ‘tch’ sound and said, “I thought I already told you guys. I hate fighting these wars. They send us all around the continent to kill people.”

“Yeah…” Laguna says, “But at least we get to see lots of different places!”

“It’s kinda hard to enjoy the scenery when it’s cover in the innards of our enemies.”

They all stayed silent for a moment. Kiros broke the silence and said, “Dude, you just ruined the atmosphere.”

“Like I care.”

“I don’t think I’ll be having anything to drink now.” Ward says. After a few moments he looks to Laguna and says, “So, Laguna… Julia should be making her appearance soon.” Just then a woman in a red dress came down the stairs. She began to play a beautiful song on the piano. “You goin’ for it tonight?”

Kiros urges him, “Yeah, go for it!”

Eric looks over his shoulder at the bar. “Where the hell’s my drink?”

Laguna shakes his head. “What-ever, man! Can’t you see she’s working?”

Kiros shakes Laguna’s shoulder and says, “Don’t go back on your word. C’mon, go wave to her.”

“Give me a break…”

Ward adds, “So you say, but we know you’ll do it.”

Laguna sighs and stands up. As he walks over to Julia Eric watches and says, “This should be amusing.”

Laguna got close to her but before he could say anything his leg cramped up. He started limping back to the table after waving to her. Eric was laughing by the time he got back.

The others ignored him. Kiros congratulated him, “Good work, Laguna.”

“Mission successful!” Ward adds.

“You’re kidding, right?” Eric asks. “That was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Ignore him, Laguna. You did well.” Kiros moved over to make room. “Here, have a seat.” Laguna sat down beside him.

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” Ward states, “Our popularity rating’s gone up a point.”

Kiros adds, “Yeah, but you cut a pretty pitiful figure up there. I’d say you’re about a –3 on the manliness scale.”

“-3?” Eric asks, “Try –100 and you’ll be closer to the actual score.”

Laguna shook his head. “Say what you want!”

“OK,” Eric replied, “You’re pitiful and you made yourself look like an idiot up there.”

“Shut up!” Laguna sighed and slumped back in his chair. “Julia sure is pretty…”

Kiros looked over at the piano and saw Julia coming to their table. “Aaa…”

He nudged Ward in the rib. “Hunhhh…?”

“Laguna, we’re takin’ off.” Kiros and Ward got up. Eric also noticed Julia but he didn’t move.

Laguna protested, “H-Hey! What’s the rush?”

Ward reassured him, “It’s on us tonight. Relax and stay awhile, Laguna.” He grabbed Eric by the shoulder. “Come on, Eric.”

“Hey, you can go, I want a good seat for this.”

Kiros told him, “We’ll buy you a beer.”

“Sold!” He got up and followed the two of them to the bar. Once at the bar they watched Julia talk to Laguna. They could hear what they were saying.

“May I?”

Laguna turned and faced her. His mouth hung open. “Aaaaa…” He moved over to let her have a seat.

“Did I interrupt anything?” She asked.

Laguna nervously replies, “N-N-N-Not at all. P-Please, s-sit down.” They both sat down.

As Eric and the others watched he said, “Man, I wish I had a better seat for this. But a beer’s a beer.”

Julia sits down beside him and asks, “You OK now?”

“Kind of…” he replies.

“How’s your leg?”

Laguna sits up straight and says, “L-Leg? Oh, this!? Y-Yeah, it’s fine. Happens all the time when I get nervous.” He coughed.

“Were you nervous?” She asks.

“Oh, yeah. I’m still kinda…”

She reassures him, “You can relax. You don’t have to get nervous around me.”

Laguna shakes his head. “Oh, sorry.”

“Say…” Julia leans in closer to whisper. Now Eric couldn’t hear her at all.

Laguna suddenly stood up. “I-In your room!?”

Julia looks across the room at all the people watching them. “Well…” She starts whispering again. “If you’d like to, please come by. I’ve been waiting to talk to you. Don’t you want to?”

“Of course I do!”

Julia stands up and finishes, “Then I’ll go ahead and wait for you. Ask for my room at the front desk, OK?” She leaves Laguna to go to her room. Laguna places his hand on his chin as if he were thinking. He started making all sorts of facial and body expressions, the only thing that was missing was his voice. Finally he nodded and left to meet Julia in her room.

Eric turned back to the bar counter once he left. “He really needs to watch what he does when he thinks. It’s like looking at a bad mime act!”

“Hey, at least he’s happy.” Kiros said.

“Whatever.” The waitress finally brought him his drink. It was in a big mug just like he asked. He started to hear noises coming from upstairs. He turns to the others and asks, “Hey guys, do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Ward asks.

Eric got out of his seat and headed up the stairs to the lobby. Ward and Kiros followed him. The noises Eric was hearing came from outside. There was a mile long traffic jam just outside the hotel. He crosses his arms and says to the others, “I’ll give you three guesses what caused this traffic jam and the first two don’t count.”

Through Eric’s eyes Tylor could see his reflection in one of the windows. He looked exactly like him. It's as if Tylor is looking at an older version of himself.

“Next stop, Timber… Timber…”


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

how old is tylor?

I'm not sure if he is old enough for cofee.
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:32 pm    Post subject: yo Reply with quote

whats a T-Board? and if the skateboard hovers, that means it a hoverboard, right, like in back to the future part 2? well, sounds cool.

Quote:
Squall sighed and went in, Tylor followed.

you do this quite a bit.its a run-on if you dont add a conjunction(probably and in this case).

Quote:
“Right, but eighteen years ago, Galbadia invaded. Timber fell quite easily to Galbadia. So now Timber is under Galbadia occupation.

look at how repetitive and boring the word Galbadia got.
Listen to this: Right, but eighteen years ago, Galbadia invaded. Timber fell quite easily to them. So now timber is under the empire's (or whatever it is)occupation. add a little diversity in wording when you write.

Quote:
Zell gave a thumbs up and said, “Het, no prob

what is this 'het'you speak of?

Quote:
He wears a blue bandana over his baldhead.

bald head is 2 words
you did this more than once. combining words...

that bar scene was soooo funny!
wow..great...

that was a GOOD chapter. lookin forward to the next one.
so yeah how old is tylor?

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Didn't I write in the prologue what his age was? Hmm... maybe I forgot.

Anyway, you could say Tylor is anywhere from 17-19 years old, somewhere around those lines. But for purposes in the story that you'll find out MUCH later, he has to be younger that Ellone, the girl who sends them back in time. I'm not going to say why, because it'll ruin the surprise.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

:/ Darn spoilers. >.>;

Same problems with tense exist, but the dialog was good. Follows the story, but its still lacking depth and originality. Perhaps you could pay more detail to the finer points and less on the dialog. Add some consequences for your actions, that would be great.
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This thread was created on June 7, 2007

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