Topic ID: 21470
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
starrynight89
Senior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 19
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 121
Reviews: 55
300 Points
|
 Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject: Untitled |
 |
|
Hello,
I still don't have a title yet but I'm playing around with a few at the moment. Anyways, thank you to all of you who decide to review it! I have a bad habit of writing awfully long chapters, don't worry, I only wrote one so far...
If you have a story posted in this section, let me know if you want me to review it..or I'll just pick one 
Bye and keep writing,
starry-night  |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
BigBadBear
friendship has no color
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1452
Reviews: 566
Country: Gotham City
248 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Hey! Just to let you know, I have downloaded your story and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. You seriously write long chapters! Lol anyway, Ill get back to you ASAP.
BBB |
_________________
Read and write four to six hours a day. If you cannot find the time for that, you can't expect to become a good writer. ~ Steven King |
|
| Back to top |
|
starrynight89
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 121
Reviews: 55
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:04 am Post subject: Yay! |
|
|
| Aww, Thank you! I know my chapters are rather long....would you like me to review any of your work? |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
BigBadBear
friendship has no color
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1452
Reviews: 566
Country: Gotham City
248 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:43 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Yeah, if you could. Anything, from Flying South (sorta) to my beautifully Evil novel. Whatever floats your boat.
BBB
(I have just downloaded and I'm reading right now!!) |
_________________
Read and write four to six hours a day. If you cannot find the time for that, you can't expect to become a good writer. ~ Steven King |
|
| Back to top |
|
BigBadBear
friendship has no color
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 14
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1452
Reviews: 566
Country: Gotham City
248 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
There! I have gotten the first like eight pages. I'll keep doing it! It takes me a while, but it will all be done eventually!
I really like it! You have a very good imagination! I can't wait to read more, except now, I have to go and get some things done!
BBB |
_________________
Read and write four to six hours a day. If you cannot find the time for that, you can't expect to become a good writer. ~ Steven King |
|
| Back to top |
|
EnchantressMuffin
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 428
Reviews: 193
300 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
So I skimmed the first two, three pages, and I didn't know if I could read much more than that tonight - because I already promised bigbadbear that I'd review his story, and I'm taking waaaay too long - so I'll just jot down a few thoughts I had from the bits I read.
So.
~ Writing style: a little sloppy and immature.
~ Chapters: Freaking long. A little too freaking long, I think. It would be an excellent idea to break them up so they're a little smaller. I think you could do that.
~ There's some editing that need to be done; some misplaced capitals and missing letters. If you like I could read this over thoroughly and do an edit - just the rudimentary stuff, though.
And I have to be off to ward off the orange rhinos that are attacking my supply of whitewashed cheese poof beanies, so I'll get back to you once I've saved the world from malaria malfunction.
Get back to me on the editing thing, if you'd like!
Peace, love, choco-bean,
Muffin |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
snap
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 211
Reviews: 14
Country: NYS
300 Points
|
| Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
So, I downloaded it, too, because it looks interesting, though I haven't had a chance to read it yet. I'll get to it soon, though. It caught my interest.  |
_________________
The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
~ Robert Cormier |
|
| Back to top |
|
starrynight89
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 121
Reviews: 55
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 3:28 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Thanks, but mind you, it's not that great! |
_________________
“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.” |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 939
Reviews: 207
Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy.
347 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Downloaded your story, look forward to a critique as soon as I get through it! (*looks at number of pages* o_O Which may take a while)
^_^ |
_________________
Here's a free coupon! Good for:
1) A new friend
2) A free review
3) Advice on problems and general YWS assistance
^_^ PM me anytime to use! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sleeping Valor
^_^ Back for summer!
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 939
Reviews: 207
Country: I'm on the other side of the reflection you see, living in a world of fantasy.
347 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
^_^ I won't lie, this story didn't really start to look interesting until the very end. =P I suggested some ideas on how to fix that.
I have no idea how the comment tracker works, but I am going to assume you can see the changes I tracked and stuff. >.< I hope.
Good luck with your story! |
_________________
Here's a free coupon! Good for:
1) A new friend
2) A free review
3) Advice on problems and general YWS assistance
^_^ PM me anytime to use! |
|
| Back to top |
|
LoveableLittleSock
Somebody who has an irrevocable hate for commas
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 02 Jan 2008
Posts: 431
Reviews: 149
Country: United States of America
300 Points
|
|
| Back to top |
|
XxxDo
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 268
Reviews: 76
Country: Switzerland and The Netherlands
401 Points
|
| Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject: - |
|
|
Heya
hope my critique is useful !
XxxDo |
_________________
-Join the global fight for animal rights-
www.freewebs.com/ethicalwayofliving
OMG - |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
