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Casting Shadows Prologue [Edited.]
Casting Shadows Prologue [Edited.]

by kitty15 in Romantic Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Advanced Critiques

This thread was created on October 28, 2007
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starrynight89   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:42 pm    Post subject: Untitled Reply with quote

Hello,

I still don't have a title yet but I'm playing around with a few at the moment. Anyways, thank you to all of you who decide to review it! I have a bad habit of writing awfully long chapters, don't worry, I only wrote one so far...

If you have a story posted in this section, let me know if you want me to review it..or I'll just pick one Smile

Bye and keep writing,

starry-night Very Happy
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BigBadBear   View This User's Portfolio
friendship has no color
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey! Just to let you know, I have downloaded your story and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. You seriously write long chapters! Lol anyway, Ill get back to you ASAP.


BBB

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starrynight89   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:04 am    Post subject: Yay! Reply with quote

Aww, Thank you! I know my chapters are rather long....would you like me to review any of your work?
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BigBadBear   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, if you could. Anything, from Flying South (sorta) to my beautifully Evil novel. Whatever floats your boat.


BBB

(I have just downloaded and I'm reading right now!!)

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There! I have gotten the first like eight pages. I'll keep doing it! It takes me a while, but it will all be done eventually!

I really like it! You have a very good imagination! I can't wait to read more, except now, I have to go and get some things done!

BBB

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So I skimmed the first two, three pages, and I didn't know if I could read much more than that tonight - because I already promised bigbadbear that I'd review his story, and I'm taking waaaay too long - so I'll just jot down a few thoughts I had from the bits I read.

So.

~ Writing style: a little sloppy and immature.

~ Chapters: Freaking long. A little too freaking long, I think. It would be an excellent idea to break them up so they're a little smaller. I think you could do that.

~ There's some editing that need to be done; some misplaced capitals and missing letters. If you like I could read this over thoroughly and do an edit - just the rudimentary stuff, though.

And I have to be off to ward off the orange rhinos that are attacking my supply of whitewashed cheese poof beanies, so I'll get back to you once I've saved the world from malaria malfunction.

Get back to me on the editing thing, if you'd like!

Peace, love, choco-bean,
Muffin
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snap   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, I downloaded it, too, because it looks interesting, though I haven't had a chance to read it yet. Smile I'll get to it soon, though. It caught my interest. Wink

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, but mind you, it's not that great!

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Downloaded your story, look forward to a critique as soon as I get through it! (*looks at number of pages* o_O Which may take a while)

^_^

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Sleeping Valor   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^_^ I won't lie, this story didn't really start to look interesting until the very end. =P I suggested some ideas on how to fix that.

I have no idea how the comment tracker works, but I am going to assume you can see the changes I tracked and stuff. >.< I hope.

Good luck with your story!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, just wanted you to know that I downloaded your story and I'll critique it as soon as possible Smile

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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 8:42 pm    Post subject: - Reply with quote

Heya Very Happy
hope my critique is useful !
XxxDo

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This thread was created on October 28, 2007

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