Topic ID: 21241
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
BigBadBear
look! it's Poe!
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 15
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1698
Reviews: 611
Country: USA
993 Points
|
 Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 12:43 am Post subject: The Gifted and the Cursed: Super-Kids in Training |
 |
|
Hey! I wrote this novel a couple of months ago, and I wanted to people to critique it, so if you have a like.. a long time, check it out!
Summary:
The Three Peterson boys go to a secret summer camp called S.K.T. and find out that they all have secret powers. Race can fly. Jared is the Gifted, and Zach has Super Human Strength.
A year later, the three Petersons are sent on an adventure that will change their lives forever. |
_________________
Read The Novel House here!!
Enter the YWS Fanfic Contest Today! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
EnchantressMuffin
Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 15
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 427
Reviews: 193
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:22 am Post subject: |
|
|
Just to let you know:
I have downloaded this, and will get started reading this right away. I can't promise anything lengthy just yet, but have no fear! I'll work on it!
...Yeah, I'm not sure why I told you that. I guess I wanted to tell you I was there for you? 
PLC,
Muffin |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Charlie II
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 251
Reviews: 71
Country: England: Land of the pasty!
300 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Errr, what Muffin said. I'll post the critique of the prologue and chapter 1 on Friday. You've written a lot!
Charlie |
_________________
I used to be "DarkLight" but now I'm "Charlie II"!
... and you can leave out the "II" 
"Eyes open. Head clear. See much. Say little." |
|
| Back to top |
|
BigBadBear
look! it's Poe!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1698
Reviews: 611
Country: USA
993 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 9:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Oh yeah, this is the first part of three books. The Gifted and the Cursed is a trilogy, and the prolouge of each book really just is important to the third book. So, you don't have to read it.
BBB |
_________________
Read The Novel House here!!
Enter the YWS Fanfic Contest Today! |
|
| Back to top |
|
sokool15
"Good God, you're a woman!"
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 697
Reviews: 368
Country: Wunderbar!
375 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 9:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Well, I read your novel...skimmed through it, really. it's good as it is, but the writing style is a little immature. I'm sorry, but I don't have time to get a full-length review. I can tell you, though, that you chose an excellent title. The title alone made me want to download it!
The thing is, the subject matter wasn't really my favorite - I'm not so into vampires, etc, so after a while it lost my interest. This could just be a personal thing, though, so you'll have to get vampire-lovers and superpower-lovers to tell you what they think.
Cheerio! Congratulations on finishing the novel, by the way!
~mademoiselleKool |
_________________
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
~Albert Einstein |
|
| Back to top |
|
Charlie II
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 251
Reviews: 71
Country: England: Land of the pasty!
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
Ok. I critiqued the prologue and I'm working on Chapter 1. My main comment so far is that you often use the same words to begin paragraphs (especially in the prologue) so be aware of that.
Full comments are on the document 
Charlie |
_________________
I used to be "DarkLight" but now I'm "Charlie II"!
... and you can leave out the "II"
"Eyes open. Head clear. See much. Say little." |
|
| Back to top |
|
BigBadBear
look! it's Poe!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1698
Reviews: 611
Country: USA
993 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Holy Cow you guys!
I submitted this story to a publisher and guess what?
THIS IS GONNA GET PUBLISHED!
I am so happy! Well, not really. I have to pay a 'subsidy' or something like that fee and that is like 6000 buckaroos. Hm..that's a difficult thing. Anyone have any ideas for me to make 6k? and quick?
BBB |
_________________
Read The Novel House here!!
Enter the YWS Fanfic Contest Today! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sureal
(i are RITER!!!)
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 3203
Reviews: 456
Country: England
422 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Tell the publisher to go die in a hole. It's a scam dude, sorry.  A real publisher would never ask for your money. |
_________________
The Broken.
Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four // Chapter Five
Since 7th Sep: 9,000 words down, only 91,000 to go! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Charlie II
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 251
Reviews: 71
Country: England: Land of the pasty!
300 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Really? You sure?
That's brilliant! I guess you won't need my editing any more then! I'm amazed! Well done!
$6000? Can your parents bail you out? Maybe you could fundraise, saying that you're raising money to get your book published or something? I dunno.
This is brilliant though! Congratulations! Do you get your own proper editor now  ?
Charlie |
_________________
I used to be "DarkLight" but now I'm "Charlie II"!
... and you can leave out the "II"
"Eyes open. Head clear. See much. Say little." |
|
| Back to top |
|
BigBadBear
look! it's Poe!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1698
Reviews: 611
Country: USA
993 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ok, the publisher is named DORRANCE PUBLISHING CO. Is this a scam?
Well, let me go and get the letter and I'll read it exactly:
First, I will assign an editor to mechanically edit The Gifted and the Cursed, making a check for consistency and accuracy of punctuation, spelling, and grammar. The manuscript will be returned to you, for your approval, upon completon of the editing process.
That's a scary thought. Anyway, I still want you guys to correct this, for like stuff that doesn't make sense so that I can revise it and send it back to them. Please continue!!!
And more:
Our subsidy publishing fees generally average between $6000- $10000. The fee is dependent on the lenght of your manuscript and other physical characterisics of the finished book. Whatever the fee, please be assured it is not due at once; rather, it is paid over time.
Oh my gosh! What the heck does that mean? I mean my book the Gifted and the Cursed is 73 pages...do I still have to pay a flippin 6000 bucks?
And more:
If after the exact subsidey fee for The Gifted and the Cursed has been determind, you think that the fee may be a financial burden for you, please let us know. Often, we can offer our new authors attractive and flexible, intrest free payment plan.s it may be possible for you to get strarted with as little as a $500 down payment and pay the remaining fee in as many as 24 installment.
Uh.. what? Does anyone have any clue on what they mean? I mean, I'm fourteen. I don't understand any of this. I know that I have to pay.. but I mean 6000 bucks is a lot.. even just for a short story..
And check this out: this is a letter to an editor to check out my story: sorry if this is long.
Please revieew the reader's report for the above noted manuscript. I recommend it for publication via our subsidy-publishing program.
In The Gifted and the Cursed, Peterson (me) has created an imaginative and descriptive storyline surrounding three brothers: Zach, Race, and Jared. As the story begins, the three are sent to camp against their will. When they arive at the S.K.T. camp, all of the children are curious as to what kind of campi it was. However, they sopon discover that not only is the camp different, so are all of the campiers:
"All of you here tonight will be given--no wait, all of you here tongiht already have a power! :If you asked, I could name each one of your powers, because your ancestors will have the same power!~ You wee, many many years ago, the Power of Light was stolen and evil unleashed its fullest extent. The Power found their masters and hid a part of it within their human master. All of you have a part of that power inside of your blood."
The camp, run by Shawn Snow Jr. was desighned to train all of the descendents of the origianl Super Kids. However, dark magic is soon around them, jeopardizing the camp and their lives. As a curse is set againsts Jared, Shawn does his best to protect him, however the powers are too strong for him. As Shawn explains:
"Well, Quadrena died a long im ago, in a war in the acient city of Oosengoth. Oh, this is hard to explain! Well, I think that my great-great-grandfather made a deal with Quadrena to cooperate with the curse, and that Quadrena would come back from the dead to hunt whoever thouched the wand."
Throughout the story, Peterson maintains an exciting storyline. THe plot seems well organized and it should be easy for readers to become wrapped up in the characters' adventures..
Well, that makes me seem important. Anyone have any help or advice? This is freaking terrifying! |
_________________
Read The Novel House here!!
Enter the YWS Fanfic Contest Today!
Last edited by BigBadBear on Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:45 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sureal
(i are RITER!!!)
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 3203
Reviews: 456
Country: England
422 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Seriously, don't write back. They'll take your money, produce a crappy book (that won't appear in any shops), and quite likely force you to buy a certain number of the books, costing you even more money. You'll end up losing $6,000+ as well as the rights to your story.
If you want to be published, submit the novel to a real publisher. A real publisher would never, ever, ever, ask you for any money. Ever.
... ever.
Altertively, check out www.lulu.com, which is a decent (ie. not a scam) self-publishing company. |
_________________
The Broken.
Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four // Chapter Five
Since 7th Sep: 9,000 words down, only 91,000 to go! |
|
| Back to top |
|
smorgishborg
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Posts: 271
Reviews: 153
Country: Somewhere that's green
350 Points
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Sureal
(i are RITER!!!)
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 3203
Reviews: 456
Country: England
422 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Yeah, a quick bit of research reveals that they're just a vanity publisher. You'll get the same sort of thing you'd get with Lulu, only it'll cost you $6,000, rather than being free. Heck, I'd say Lulu is better, simply because you get more control over the design of the book. |
_________________
The Broken.
Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four // Chapter Five
Since 7th Sep: 9,000 words down, only 91,000 to go! |
|
| Back to top |
|
logosgal
Is running around like a headless chicken
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 345
Reviews: 10
Country: College or Bust!
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Yup. I don't know much about publishing, but just the letter sounds bad. Did it really have all those typos, or was that just you typing too fast, bigbadbear? If it did, I'd be especially suspicious. The editor's letter did make your story sound interesting, though. Hopefully I'll read it when I get the time... |
_________________
So, what have I missed since January? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
BigBadBear
look! it's Poe!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 15
Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 1698
Reviews: 611
Country: USA
993 Points
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
