Topic ID: 20099
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moosiegirl
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 28 Oct 2006 Posts: 119 Reviews: 35 Country: some elegant Masquerade lost in the ruins of time... 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:42 pm Post subject: teller |
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teller, teller, tell me a tale
of love and fear and duty
i want to die in the arms of love
i want to die for beauty
for beauty is the only truth
and death the only lie
i want to sing a final tale
and love before i die
CHORUS
so tell me quick
if i've been heard
else maim with a phrase
kill with a word
oh prince oh prince give me a kiss
a kiss of love of desire
i want to lie in the arms of love
i want to sing of treasure
for passion is the only truth
and death the only lie
i want to know your lips on mine
and love before i die
CHORUS
so tell me quick
if ive been heard
else maim with a phrase
kill with a word |
_________________ "I don't know what to say, so I'll just say what's in my heart... Baboom, Baboom, Baboom."
--Mel Brooks
Last edited by moosiegirl on Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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GingerLizzy
But The Tops Of Carrots Are Green Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Posts: 1077 Reviews: 461 Country: England 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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I liked this, the rhythm was pretty good and I liked the meaning behind it. In some lines though, you tend to cram them full of syllables that are not needed and it's harder to feel the flow of the lyrics.
I liked your imagery and I liked the chorus, which fit in well. |
_________________ Worship the ginger monkey aaand join my new group!
Oh, and enter my new contest! |
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michellel96
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 12 Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 35 Reviews: 17
300 Points
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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hehehehe me like this lol moosie |
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michellel96
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 12 Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 35 Reviews: 17
300 Points
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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_________________ midnight calls, inside jokes, great times
`- - > > [ [ best friends ] ]
live. laugh. love. michelle. |
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kirstybree
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 57 Reviews: 39 Country: United States 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 12:00 am Post subject: |
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| I really like the chorus! |
_________________ "Look in the mirror and what do you see? A shallow reflection that means nothing to me" |
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Someguy
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 325 Reviews: 267 Country: Somewhere in the South... 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 4:05 pm Post subject: t |
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Very good.It is great. I have an Image in front of me.I can also make my own beat.
| Quote: |
teller, teller, tell me a tale
of love and fear and duty
i want to die in the arms of love
i want to die for beauty
for beauty is the only truth
and death the only lie
i want to sing a final tale
and love before i die |
Really liked this.
| Quote: |
CHORUS
so tell me quick
if i've been heard
else maim with a phrase
kill with a word |
Really liked this. Very intense in a way(Don't ask me how.)
Overall I think it is great. |
_________________ Look at my big shiny shell... |
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thething912
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 01 Sep 2007 Posts: 439 Reviews: 103 Country: America 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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maim?
I think you should capitalize your I's. |
_________________ Check out my website for my Photography. |
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